Happy Holidays

I hope everyone had a good Christmas. We had a quiet, scaled back Christmas this year. We’re trying to save money, and teach the girls that it is the thought that counts, not the quantity.

Several weeks prior to Christmas each of the girls gave me a list and those lists were ordered according to importance, or desire I should say. I had a set budget in mind for each girl and stayed within the budget (Yay ME!) for both. It was a bonus, for me, that the number of gifts was equal as well. Despite their assurance that they understand there is a set dollar amount, I have a feeling if one child had less gifts to open than the other it would have resulted in bad feelings. So… Crisis averted.

Christmas morning we had to go to my older brother’s condo because he proposed to his girlfriend that morning. He wanted it to be “special”. I get it. Whatever. It was crowded. 13 people plus 2 large dogs in a 2-bedroom condo does not make for a comfortable time. Thankfully we weren’t required to be there all day. We dropped M off at home and the girls and I went to my Aunt and Uncles’ house. We used to do this every Christmas but I have not been there for Christmas Day in nearly 4 years. Christmas is also my cousin Cody’s birthday. This year was his 18th birthday and I wanted to see him on his birthday before he goes off to college next year. M had no desire to go and that was fine by me. He stayed home and ate pizza.

I had vacation days on Monday and Tuesday, and M had vacation on Monday so we took the girls to Kmart to return some shoes they had gotten as gifts, then to Best Buy to see if there was anything we wanted to use our gift cards for there. By then the girls were tired of being with us and wanted to hang out with their friends, so we dropped them off at home and M and I went to Buffalo Wild Wings for lunch.

Yesterday, I decided to take both girls and one friend each to a place called Extreme Trampoline. This is a fantastic place! It was ridiculously crowded, but for only $11 a person for an hour it was awesome! They have these huge trampolines (a total of four plus a foam ball pit) and the kids just go nuts! There’s a section for little kids ages 3 – 7, another section for kids ages 8 – 13, another for kids ages 14 and up, a sectioned off trampoline for Dodgeball (ages 5 and up), and finally a mini trampoline that you can bounce off of and into a foam ball pit. There was no way my fat ass was getting on those trampolines, but it sure looked like fun. L and her friend said it started to get boring after about 45 minutes so 1 hour was perfect. K said her stomach muscles hurt after we left. I figured it was from 60 minutes of constant jumping. I then took K and Apryl bowling. L and Becca didn’t want to go bowling because it’s “stupid”.

Al l said I think it was a fun Christmas Vacation and for once we didn’t all get into screaming matches!

How was your holiday?

Honesty

Since the description of my blog is something along the lines of "my journal of living with teens and surviving" or something like that I figure I should at least own up to that and actually chronicle my kids lives, right?  I also figure since I'm relatively unknown "here" there's the protection of autonomy to a degree.  I don't use my kids or fiance's full names and I don't use last names.  Yes, my name may be out there but not my full name therefore I'm still unknown.  Laying down all these anonymous examples I guess I should at least be honest.

I haven't been writing much lately because I've been... preoccupied.  Around the beginning of November I got a call from K's school regarding a fighting issue at school.  I think I documented that, but what I didn't disclose was that fact that another girl, not involved in the drama, found K in the bathroom with a pen cap sawing at her wrists.  Her issues at school, and with peers, are so much more than just "girls being girls".  K's a very angry kid.  She's also a very loving kid, but the anger shows SO much more often than the loving part.

While I recognize that what she was doing is not a normal reaction to stress in any way, I also recognize that a large part of it was an attempt to get attention.  K's school social worker told me that K's showing red flags for depression - her issues with peers and any authority, her total lack of interest in schoolwork, and her lack of communication with anyone about anything of importance among other things.  The issue I've been dealing with the past month or so is that her school social worker, while she won't stop seeing K, is not equipped to deal with social issues of this magnitude.  The second issue I've had is that my girls are on the Illinois State Insurance program.  This is fantastic only because I would pay more week in deductions from my paycheck for insurance through my job than I pay for a month with the State Insurance.

The downfall is that when it comes to specialized services like dentistry or mental health, It's more difficult to find a doctor who accepts the insurance.  That's what I've been dealing with for the last month.  Just trying to find a psychologist who will accept the insurance, or one who won't charge me $120 a session.  I don't have $120; not to be confused with not wanting to pay that - I don't have it.  I did find three psychologists during my first call to the Insurance but they were all in Chicago (I HATE driving in the city) and they were all booked until late February or March.  I can't wait that long. 

I finally found a psychologist but had to switch the girls PCP first which really bugs me because they'd been with their pediatrician for at least 9 years.  I couldn't make an appointment with this psychologist until I'd switched PCP's, and had K go in for a physical and referral to their psych doctor.  Only to find out that he's not even really a psychologist but a clinician.  He did tell me about a Behavior Health group, who accepts the State Insurance, who I was able to get K an appointment with next week.  I'm just hoping that K will be honest with them and not try to blow it off as no big deal. 

So there it is.  That's what I've been dealing with for the last month.  I love my kids no matter how screwed up they may be and I'm scared to death that K will fall off the edge.  Happy Holidays, huh?

Well I Never Would Have Expected This...

I was in desperate need of something to read as I hadn’t had a chance to get to the library and was out of books. I borrowed L’s Twilight book fully expecting to dislike it, but wanting to read it anyway. Oh my! Was I ever wrong! I can totally see the pull this series of books has on young girls. It sucked me in and I’m an adult who knows this is ALL FICTION!

Honestly? What female wouldn’t be thrilled to know that the guy she’s so in love with would literally protect her with his life? The fact that he’s practically unstoppable is just an added bonus. What I dislike is how incredibly head-over-heal gaga Bella is for Edward. I get that the lore of Vampires is that they’ve got some mind control B.S. or something that causes her to feel this way to a degree, but I’m still bothered that she’s so “Don’t leave me! Don’t leave me! I couldn’t live if I didn’t have you!” The book describes her as so very weak in that regard. That bothers me. I think that sends a bad message to young impressionable girls about love and life. You should NEVER be so dependent on a guy that the thought of him leaving you sends you into hysterics.

That issue aside, I do realize this is a work of fiction, and is intended for entertainment purposes. Boy did it entertain me. So much so that I borrowed L’s New Moon book as well and am halfway done with that one. 

I once dated a guy named Kevin who was a firefighter. He was HOT but was a gigantic D-Bag. I remember something he once told me about his theory on women and the men they choose. While on most accounts Kevin was completely full of himself, this theory rings true to me. He said that most women are physically attracted to men who are bigger than them and it has nothing to do with preference, and everything to do with nature. He described it as such – Back in the days of the huge predators, Ice Age maybe? In order for women to procreate they needed to survive. They couldn’t survive and care for their offspring at the same time. They required a man to protect them, and a scrawny man wouldn’t be able to do the job. The man needed to be brawny.

While most things that came out of Kevin’s mouth were completely chauvinistic and irritating, (such as the time he decided to tell me that all women have a fat friend so that they can make themselves feel better about themselves when out in public. Great guy, huh?) this theory about protectors makes sense especially when I started reading New Moon.

I can’t put this one down either. I’m transplanted back to the time in my life when I experienced my first real heartbreak. You women remember this, don’t you? When it actually feels like someone has ripped out your heart and left a gaping wound in your chest? Before the ache went away and you would do ANYTHING to hear his voice or see his face? I remember it vividly. I remember it so vividly I’m actually beginning to ache a little with remembering that pain, and despite what anyone wants to say, a broken heart hurts like hell.

In reading these books I’ve become curious about the actors and actresses who played in the movies. Yes, I DVR’d Twilight when I was on the other day and watched it last night. As always, the book is SO much better… Anyway, I read on Robert Pattinson’s Wikipedia page that he’s a singer as well as an actor and two of his tracks are in the Twilight movie. I listened for them while watching the movie last night and recognized words in one as “Let Me Sign”. He’s actually very good. He has a unique sound as well. So much so that I’m trying to find an MP3 of that song to download to my iPod.

While I realize that this series of books are works of fiction, it doesn’t stop me from enjoying them completely as thought they were reality. That’s what I love about books. They can transplant you to another time, place, universe, and you can always come back to reality.

TSA - Necessary Security or Abuse of Power?

I'm not an air traveler.  I don't have a reason to be one.  I don't often travel outside my "bubble" of the Chicagoland Area.  I have flown in an airplane, but not in the last couple of years.  That being said - All this hubbub about the TSA screening vs the TSA pat downs has me wondering. 



On one hand - if you don't want to be subjected to the screening system the solution, as far as I see it, is simple - don't fly.  There's no rule that you cannot drive to your destination.  Or take a bus.  Or a train.  Travel by air is the preferred method due to the time constraints we as Americans put upon ourselves, however it's not a requirement to get from point A to point B.

On the other hand - Say I HAVE to get to California TODAY due to some horrible catastrophic emergency, there's no way I want to have my 13 and 15 year old daughters subjected to strangers "feeling them up" or looking at them on some machine.  As an adult I can rationalize that fact that this is how air travel is now, it's for the "greater good" and all that jazz, but I can't imagine any parent would feel comfortable with subjecting their children to this system.

It really is a... Catch 22?  Is that the phrase?  How about "your damned if you do and damned if you don't"?  I guess that pretty much sums up what I mean.

I think my real question is not the here and now of the security screening system, but the long term affects.  I'm reading that some people are fearful of the scanners due to radiation and what sort of health issues they can cause.  The TSA is assuring the public that these machines are not harmful to our health, but how can they really know that?  My mother and a good friend travel a lot for their jobs.  They go through the scanners at least twice a month if not more.  What if the government finds out that the constant and repeated trips through these machines is linked to cancer or some other horrible disease?  What kind of compensation will the government issue to those afflicted?

Several years ago I suffered from adult acne.  It was horrible.  I was getting huge pimples all over my face.  Not only were they unsightly, they were painful as well.  After several attempts with various prescription acne medications my cosmetologist decided that I should try Accutane.  This medicine was so powerful, I had to watch a video, take a blood test for pregnancy, sign several consent forms, and study a binder of information (I'm not kidding about this.  I had a 2" 3-ring binder that was imprinted with the black and yellow caution colors) before my doctor could prescribe the medication the first time.  After she prescribed the medication for me I had 7 days to go online and answer 10 questions about the medication correctly and then I could only get the medication from an approved pharmacist.  The pharmacist had to verify that I had answered the questions before he/she could dispense the medication.  I was not allowed to be in the sunlight at all or I risked getting 3rd degree burns.  I couldn't drink alcohol at all.  I could NOT get pregnant.  Before my doctor could prescribe the next months medication I had to take another blood test to verify I wasn't pregnant and that all my enzymes and other organ functions were working correctly.  Then the whole thing started again - answer questions, go to the approved pharmacy, etc...

I was on this stuff for a total of 6 months.  I was taken off the medication by my doctor because my liver enzymes started to rise and wouldn't go down.  At the time I thought this was a miracle drug.  For about a year after being taken off it I never got a single pimple.  I'm starting to get them again, but not nearly as badly as I did.  However,  I got notification in the mail recently that the use of Accutane has been linked to stomach ulcers, Crohn's Disease, and other health issues.  Luckily I haven't had any problems with any of these, but what if I had?  Would the health issues after the fact be worth not having the acne?  It's easy to sit here and think "Yeah.  My acne was so bad it hurt to talk sometimes."  I've never had ulcers before, but I've heard they're painful.  I've never had Crohn's Disease, but I used to work with a guy who did and when it flared up he was in bad shape.

Maybe these are just things we have to deal with if we want security.  If we want progress.  If we want better looking skin?

Warning: THIS POST IS RANTING Just giving you a warning! :)

This is the part of my job I really dislike… I’m trying to get two things completed this week due to the holiday. I want to get my PO book up to date and I want to get my Waiver for Quin School ready ahead of time so I can pick up the check when I’m told it’s time and not have to wait a day or two to get it together.

Quin School – I emailed Ron asking him on Thursday to get me the names of the companies to be listed, their contract description, and the amount of their contracts. I told him why I wanted it; that I’m anticipating a check release before December 1st. It’s now Monday. I had to email him again this morning and his reply was “we’ll work on this after lunch”. We? Since when did YOUR job become a WE project?! It’s not my job to get that information together. I wouldn’t mind gathering what I could except for that 1.) Ron doesn’t put ANYTHING in the PO book until I get on his case to do so (this would be where I’d get my information for the waiver from) 2.) If I did feel like wading into his cesspool of an office to find the information myself, which as far as I’m concerned is a hazard to my health to even breathe the air in there, I would never be able to decipher the chicken scratch that is his handwriting.

PO Book – I’m supposed to type up all correspondence that leaves this office regardless of what it is. I don’t do this. Not because I don’t want to, but because these three guys have been doing things the way they do them for so long that change does not come easily to them. They do not embrace it. They do not try it out to see how much time is saved by having me do this type of work for them. (Not to mention Craig’s such a micro-manager even if he did give me his typing, he’d be looking over my shoulder the whole time correcting me as I type.) Whatever… You want to keep working the way you did before? Fine, but quit complaining to me about how much work you have to do but don’t have time to complete. GIMME YOUR TYPING, BITCHES!! I digress…

I came across two PO’s (that’s where I was going! I’m supposed to type PO’s too but that falls into their “can’t change how we operate” category) that are missing from the PO Book. One is from Mike, the Big Bossman, and one from Craig. I emailed both, separately, requesting an emailed copy so I could enter into the book. Mike sent me his no problem. Craig replied, “I had to give Mike a copy to sign. Can you get it from him?” Really? This takes me to an entirely different level of irritation. Why are you asking me to get a document from Mike that you should have gotten back already? YOU wrote the PO for YOUR job. YOU sent it to Mike for his signature. IT’S YOUR JOB!! FOLLOW UP ON IT!!

** FYI - by "your job" I don't mean as in Job Description.  I'm referring to the actual project for which the information is necessary **

Pissed Off

I'm so pissed at K's school it's not even funny.  K got a detention for the incident with Chloe while Chloe got off scott free.  It takes two to have a fight and K didn't fight with herself.  Chloe instigated the issue by calling K names and having others call her names as well.  K and everyone else at her table at lunch had food thrown at them for Christs sake!  K had enough and basically told Chloe to shove it.  Granted, K's method of telling Chloe where to shove it wasn't a smart choice, but it wasn't out of the blue.  I informed the Assistant Principle and the Principle of this when I had the meeting with them but they acted as though I was a tattletale.  I walked out of that meeting feeling as though K will never get a fair shot at that school for the rest of the year no matter what she does.  I also believe Chloe's mother needs to let her daughter fight her own fights once in a while.

This past Friday I got a voicemail message from K's math teacher informing me that K is missing 6 assignments and needs to attend HIP all this week.  HIP's an afterschool homework program.  Optional for kids unless they miss 5 or more assignments in one class - then it's mandatory.  The voicemail itself wasn't what irritated me, but the teachers tone did.  What she said was something like "As I'm sure you're aware, K is missing 5 assignments in math and 1 in science..."  I looked at my phone after getting that voicemail and actually talked back to the voicemail:  "No, I'm not aware she's got missing assignments, because the website that's supposed to update me on these issues isn't updated on a regular basis!"  I have a child who doesn't like school.  Who will do anything and everything to get out of doing schoolwork.  This is a child who has an IEP (Individual Education Plan).  If I ask her what homework she has the answer is always "Nothing".  If I ask to see her assignment notebook she's left it at school.  I can threaten, yell, scream, cry - nothing will break through her wall of "I'm not doing anything I don't wanna do".    I'm irritated that her teachers have allowed a child, who has special needs, to get so far behind in her school work before telling me and they're going to hear about it at our Parent/Teacher Conference on the 22nd.

I don't expect her teachers to raise her, but as a whole they are with her for 6 1/2 hours a day during the week.  I'm with her for 3 at the most.  I expect them to tell me when she's missing homework.  I got a call from her English teacher last week and he was practically yelling at me because K didn't turn in two questions in regards to a project he'd assigned her 2 weeks ago.  I didn't even know there was a project!!  Nothing was on the website that's never updated and of course K never told me about it.  I asked him as much and he said that he'd sent home a paper outlining the project and with the dates that specific things were due.  I told him I never saw it.  He told me that I was to have signed and returned the last page indicating that I read it.  I again informed him I never saw it.  He put me on hold.  He came back and said he never got the paper back.  *Insert me smacking my palm to my forehead*  "Don't you think that maybe you should have caught onto that... Ummm, I don't know - TWO WEEKS AGO and maybe called me then?!"  Examples such as that are what are irritating the living crap out of me. 

When Does It End? How Does It Begin?

When does "girl drama" cease to be "girl drama" and become bullying?  K has/had a friend, Chloe, who is unlike any other friend K has had.  I'm in no way putting my child down, but Chloe is one of the "popular" girls.  She's a model, her family has money, she has lots of beautiful and stylish clothes, her hair is always done perfectly and is pretty...  You know what I mean.  K has not yet figured out clothes.  She's not yet mastered make up.  She has only this year realized that she NEEDS to take a shower every day.  Don't get me wrong; my daughter is not dirty, she's just not up to speed on "girl things" yet. 

Since K met Chloe last year they have had an on again and off again friendship.  One day they're friends and the next they're not.  This past Friday K told me in the morning that Chloe's mom was going to pick her up for school.  K texted Chloe to see what time, never got a response so she got on the bus.  I received a phone call from K's social worker at school that there was in incident involving K and several other girls.  Long story short - Chloe and K got into a fight, Chloe shared personal things about K with other girls, and being teen girls they were catty and nasty to K causing an issue.

I spoke with K about this Friday, we've set up outside counseling (This isn't the first time K's had issues with girls.  It's a long scenario going back to 1st grade.  She doesn't relate to girls her own age and can't handle criticism in any manner.  It always ends up in arguments and fights.) and I thought all was settled.  I told K to stay away from Chloe and her group of girls, and in general to act as though they're not there.  Apparently not.  I got a call from the Assistant Principle in K's school to set up a meeting with herself and the Principle tomorrow to discuss an incident that occurred today.

Apparently K and Chloe got into it in the locker room at school, K followed Chloe to her locker, got in her face, and threatened her.  Chloe claims K slapped her, but no one can verify it.  Of course K denied it to the Assistant Principle, but really?  Who knows?  I can see her doing it.  That's so bad, isn't it?  I haven't even heard any of this from K's mouth, but I already believe what the Assistant Principle is saying is the truth.  I now have to go to K's school tomorrow for a meeting with the Assistant Principle & Principle because Chloe no longer feels safe in the hallways or the lunchroom at school.  Chloe's Mother is pissed, and I don't blame her.

I just got off the phone with K and of course she denies 90% of the story I got from the Assistant Principle.  According to K she never threatened Chloe and she never got in Chloe's face.  K says that Chloe shoved her in the locker room so K shoved her back, she claims that someone in the hallway pushed her into Chloe at the locker.  "Now I'm getting in trouble!  Of course it's my fault!  No one ever believes me!  Fine!  Take Chloe's side!  Everyone else is!!!"  I don't know what to do with this child.  She absolutely REFUSES to take responsibility for her actions.  She REFUSES to see that her bad attitude is the root of the majority of her problems.  It's always someone elses fault or someone else caused her to do whatever.  I'm mean to her because I blame EVERYTHING on her.

She's only 13 years old!  How the hell is she going to make it through these years to become an adult?  And if she does make it to adulthood - Who will she become?!

Well Excuse Me!!!

What the hell is the difference between a D+ and an F?  Apparently L thinks there's a HUGE difference between the two.  I checked her grades online and saw that she's got a 1 in Photography.  (The scoring is weird with her school.  They get a 1 to a 5 which is basically 1 = F and 5 = A.  Why they couldn't just put F through A I don't know...)  So I sent her a text asking her if she was aware she was failing that class.  She sends me a text back saying "Actually, it's a D+"  Oh, I'm sorry.  My bad.  Apparently more things have changed than the fashion from when I was in high school.  According to L a D+ isn't failing a class.  I disagree.

It kind of reminds me of that joke about the stop sign:

A man comes up to a stop sign in a residential neighborhood.  Instead of coming to a complete stop, he slows down and rolls through the stop sign.  As soon as he's through the intersection he sees the cop's lights in his rearview mirror.  The cop asks him why he didn't stop at the stop sign, and the guy says, "Well, I slowed down, and looked both ways."  The cop asks the guy to get out of the car and when the guy does the cop starts to beat him with his billy club.  The cop asks the guy, "Now.  Do you want me to slow down, or do you want me to stop?"

Yeah.  I'm full of useless crap that has no relation to what I was talking about to begin with.  I think I need a glass of wine tonight...

Huff and Puff and Blow Us Away

It was supposed to be the 2nd worst storm in Chicagoland history in nearly a Century.  I think they need to re-evaluate that title.  We were supposed to get what the weather stations were calling The Chicago Cyclone which was to include winds so strong they could overturn fully loaded semi-tractor trailers.  We got wind, but I didn't see any wind around here that would call for the state of emergency some people were preparing for. 

Today was supposed to be windy as well but not nearly so windy as yesterday.  They lie.  At least for this portion of the state.  We're MUCH more windy here today than yesterday.  I have siding coming off my house for goodness sake!  And since last night was garbage night, we live in a culdasac (I don't even know how to spell that!!), and we have the longest side yard which includes a wooden fence running the length of it - we have a recycling can full of garbage that has blown up against our fence as well as empty garbage cans from several neighbors.  Luckily they all had addresses spray painted on them so M was able to return them.

K called me from school today to see if I could ask my friend, Melissa, to make her fondant for school.  What?!  Really?  Yes.  Really.  Apparently K "volunteered" to bring in orange fondant for her Life Sciences class.  (Why can't they just call it Home Ec like we did?  How is Life Sciences more politically correct or whatever?)  Anyhow - I didn't even bother to ask Melissa to make it, but I did ask her how difficult it is to make.  She sent me a recipe for Marshmallow Fondant which she said was easier than regular fondant.  I don't see how!  Yes, there are only three ingredients in the Marshmallow Fondant, but the steps required to complete it?!  Oh my...  Never mind!  K called later today to see if I'd talked to Melissa.  I just told K that Melissa didn't have time to make any.  I didn't bother to tell her about the recipe Melissa sent me, or she'd want to make it and I'd end up with marshmallow in my coffee pot somehow.

Update - The dogs no longer smell like skunk.  They now smell like racnid skunk.  Just sayin...

WHAT THE....?

As if spending yesterday evening and last night smelling skunk wasn't bad enough - my veneer just fell off!!  I was eating lunch, and suddenly I realized that my sandwich was crunchy.  A cheese sandwich isn't supposed to be crunchy!  I come to realize that my veneer is now in my mouth and not on my tooth were its resided for the last 5+ years. 

Thank GOD I have dental insurance....
(Is this week over yet?)

Duck? Check. Bird? Check. Skunk? CHECK.

I got a phone call yesterday afternoon at about 3:30 pm.  It was K and she was hysterical.  "The dogs got sprayed by a skunk!!  Tyson is foaming at the mouth!  Walker is clawing at his eyes!  The skunk isn't dead and is twitching in our backyard!  WHAT DO I DO?!?!?!?" 

I knew there was something in our backyard.  I just knew it.  Both dogs have been clamoring to get outside 3 minutes after we had let them in.  For the last 4 days.  As soon as we'd open the door they'd tear outside.  They'd run over each other to get outside.  And anyone else who was unlucky enough to be in their way.  You might not know this, but two dogs who weigh 65+ pounds each stepping on your bare feet HURTS.  Walker usually does that anyway, but 95% of the time he'll sit before I open the door and he absolutely would not do that these past few days.  Tyson never RUNS outside.  He saunters.  He's a bit overweight and can only run for short periods of time before he flops down exhausted, but he has been TEARING out the door.

I immediately got on the internet to look up how to clean a dog that's been skunked.  You may not know this but tomato juice doesn't work.  My parents had a dog, Henry, who was white.  He got skunked once, my mother bathed him in tomato juice and it didn't work.  It only made his white coat pinkish.  One cleaning method I found said douche works wonderfully.  Hmm.. That seemed like it'd be a bit expensive and a bit awkward buying enough douche to wash two dogs - one who's extremely furry.  I came across this mixture on several sites:

1 Quart Hydrogen Peroxide

1/4 Cup Baking Soda

1 Tsp Dish Soap

Mix it all together, wash the dog, let it sit on their coat for 10 minutes, rinse, and wash with regular dog shampoo.

So I headed out of work early, stopped at Walgreens, bought all the "ingredients" and rubber gloves, and headed home.  Nothing prepared me for what was waiting at my house.  Outside the front of my house all seemed ok.  As soon as I stepped into my garage I wanted to puke.  Going inside wasn't much better.  Both dogs are at the back door trying to get into the house.  Luckily K was smart enough to keep the doors and windows closed. 

K brought me up to her room so I could see the skunk - who wasn't dead - laying in my backyard.  The dogs had attacked it and had hurt it badly enough that it couldn't get away, but didn't kill it.  It was laying there with it's ass up in the air, tail straight up and STILL SPRAYING.  You could actually see the spray coming out of it's butt.  It was really REALLY gross. 

It has been too cold here to wash the dogs outside so I had to bring them inside, one at a time, to the bathroom and wash them there.  Walker was easy to do.  He's a lab and has a short coat.  I was able to wash him three times with the Hydrogen Peroxide mixture followed by two times with the dog shampoo.  Tyson is a Chow/Shepherd/Golden Retriever mix and I was only able to wash his head, chest and shoulders with the mixture before it was gone.  I didn't have any more Hydrogen Peroxide to make more.  If I had known his fur would soak up that much of the stuff I would have bought four more bottles.  You can't put this mixture on their face or muzzles because it will sting their eyes.  Guess where both dogs got it the worst?  Yup.  Their face.

I did the best I could.  Both dogs still smell, but Tyson STINKS.  I read this morning that dogs with thick fur can keep the stink on them for up to two years!!  I think I'm gonna shave him.   Below is the most recent photo I have of both dogs in one shot.  This was from Christmas last year.  The same day we took the photo that's at the top of my blog actually...

After I got both dogs washed as best as I could we went around the house lighting every candle I own in an attempt to get the stink out.  It worked pretty well.  My house may smell like a mixture of different scented candles, but it's much better than skunk.

When M came home the offending Skunk was still in the backyard, and still alive.  Unfortunately Animal Control won't come out to take care of wildlife.  You have to call a private wildlife control company to do that.  I don't have the money for that.  I was hoping that the stupid thing would die on it's own.  Not so.  M had to take his bow and arrows into the backyard.  I felt badly for killing the stupid thing, but what could we do?  We couldn't leave it there and I couldn't afford to call someone to come take care of it.  We had to do it on our own.  I'm just surprised that none of our neighbors called the cops on us.

I hope I never have to do this again....

Booty Shorts and Punishment

Why do kids think we're stupid?  Really?  You think I haven't done whatever it is you're trying to get away with?  Please.

K went rollerskating with some friends last night.  Two of her friends came over, they all got ready together, and one of the girls' mom picked them up from my house and took them to the rollerskating rink.  I cannot believe the clothing these girls were wearing.  One of the girls had shorts so short that if she bent over to touch her knee - I'd be seeing all she has to show.  It was a little gross to be honest.  When I went upstairs to tell them that the mom was here, I saw K was wearing short-ass-booty-shorts as well.  At least hers were jean shorts so they were a bit less likely to ride up, but still.  I told her to change her shorts before they left.  She gave me a little 'tude but I think she realized it before I got pissed, so she said "ok".  I knew right then that she'd be trying to get away with something.  I made a mental note to check her out before she left, but then the dog got into the garbage (DAMN DOG!) so I was busy cleaning that up when they walked out the door.

I knew she didn't change her shorts.  I just KNEW it in my bones.  I checked her room anyway.  I went through the pile of clothes on her floor (from them going through her drawers to find clothing), but the shorts were nowhere to be found.  She actually left the house with the shorts!!  Ok.  I knew she was going to do this but it doesn't change the fact that she actually DID it!

When she came home I snagged her before she could run upstairs.  She had on a black pair of sweat pants - the kind that come to the knees.  I went to give her a hug - and feel her bottom - and she immediately backed away.  This is a child I have to physically remove from my neck every night because she LOVES to cuddle.  (Personally I'm not a cuddler.  I can't stand it when people want to hang on me.  Give me a hug?  Fine.  Hold on for longer than 5 seconds and I can't wait to get away from you.  It's just the way I am.)  I knew immediately that I definitely wasn't wrong.  So I did what any mother would do - I grabbed her pants and yanked.  She screamed, but then at least had the decency to look ashamed.  How could she deny it?  She was standing right in front of me with her sweat pants around her ankles and the booty-shorts on.

Her punishment is that she's grounded today after school, she has to re-clean her room from the mess they made getting ready, and she has to wash all the widows on the ground floor.  This may not seem like a big punishment, and in theory it's really not because we only have the kitchen window, dining room window, sliding glass door, and bay window on the ground floor - however, we have two dogs who CONSTANTLY press their wet noses up against all but the kitchen window.  The result is a film over the window that is not easy to get off.  M calls it "doggy booger".  Because of this film this is a chore I despise.  There have been times where I actually got a razor blade and scraped the crap off.  It was easier than washing and washing and washing and going through an entire roll of paper towels, but I'm not letting K in on that trick.

She asked me this morning how I knew that she'd kept the shorts on under her sweats.  Duh.  I've done that before myself.  But I didn't tell HER that.

Blah...

I got a raise at work.  I don't know why.  I still don't do anything except fuck around on the computer all day.  What's that phrase?  "Don't look a gift horse in the mouth"?  Yea.  The shit's gonna hit the fan when Craig finds out.  He already thinks I'm overpaid.  I told M not to say anything to Craig at bowling on Friday, but I have a feeling it's gonna slip out somehow. 

We have two Halloween parties to go to.  One is this Saturday at Paul & Nicole's, and the other is next Saturday at Karly's.  I'm using the same costume for both and because I'm cheap, or broke however you wanna look at it, I'm making my costume again this year.  Last year I drew a big P on a green shirt, and used black makeup to make one of my eyes black.  I was a Black Eyed Pea.  This year I'm going to wear my normal clothes and hang a sign around my neck saying "Nudist on Strike".  I think it's kind of clever, but M thinks it's cheating.  This from the guy who REFUSES to dress up in a costume - until this year of course.  The one year we don't have the money to spend on a costume he's going to wear once - although I guess he'll technically wear it twice, but still.  He bought a Whoopie Cushion costume.  He looks like a gigantic hot water bag.  He thinks it's funny.  I'm not in agreement.  It's funny, just not as funny as he thinks it is.  He wants to find a fart machine to put in his pocket under the costume.  If we had the money for it, I'd tell him to make sure it's got a remote so I can make him "fart" at random times.

K wants to have a sleep over on the 30th with a bunch of friends, and I'm not sure what L's plans are yet.  She doesn't voluntarily talk to me about anything, and trying to ask her questions is like pulling teeth.

K is supposed to get her braces off in November.  I don't know how to tell her that it's not happening yet.  I have to pay off my balance first but there's NO WAY I'm gonna be able to do that in time.  I talked to the ortho and he's less than pleased, but I can't give him what I don't have.  This just goes to show why I'm so pissed at M for spending money we don't have.  He doesn't get it that $30 here and there adds up.  I don't know how to make him understand.  I've tried to put him on a budget but he always blows it and is like "meh... What are ya gonna do?"  I'm thinking about opening up my own checking account and paying off my bills.  The problem is we're too far behind on everything.  I don't know what to do...

She's a Wimp

Do you ever feel like your kids are the worlds biggest hypochondriacs?  I had to take L and K to the doctor yesterday after work for their sports physicals.  After all the usual checks (heartbeat, breathing, eyes, ears, spine, etc.) the doctor asked each girl if they had any questions.  OH. MY. GOD.  I think K was making lists in the car of ailments!  She sounded like a little old lady!  She complained that her chest hurts after doing cartwheels in gymnastics, but it doesn't hurt when she's resting.  Diagnosis - muscular pain.  Remedy - stretch better.  She then complained that her thumb hurts when she does anything in gymnastics that requires her to put pressure on her palms.  (Of course that means EVERYTHING she does in gymnastics)  Diagnosis - muscle pain.  Remedy - simple hand stretches.  Finally she complained that her eyelid twitches sometimes and doesn't stop.  At this point I wanted to crawl into the floor.

L is the only one who had a legitimate issue.  Her period is going on for 10 days now.  Not exceptionally heavy but not spotting either.  I told her yesterday that this sometimes can happen and unless it's really heavy not to worry about it unless it goes for a month.  The doctor said the same thing.  The doctor did want to do a finger prick test to check for anemia though.  She said anything under 12 is cause for concern.  L's result came back at 11.  So we had to go downstairs for an actual blood test. 

L is not a needle person.  She hates shots.  She hates needles.  Of course, being the caring mother that I am... I told her how this was going to be worse than a shot.  They were going to take a needle 2 inches long and stick it in her arm, then she was going to have to sit there while it filled the vile with blood.  I told her that sometimes they don't get the vein on the first try and they'll have to stick her over and over and over again until they get it right.  That sometimes they can actually POP the vein.  Sometimes they'll stick the needle in and then she'll feel it wiggle around in her vein.  Yea.  I'm mean.  The poor kid was white as a sheet by the time they called her back.  They called her name, she looked at me and whispered "will you come with me?" 

She sat in the chair, eyes squeezed shut, two of my fingers in a vice grip in her other hand - and it was done!  She winced when the lady wiped her arm with the alcohol swab, but not when she inserted the needle!!!  When the tech told her it was over L's eyes popped open, she glared at me and said "YOU LIED TO ME!!"  Oh boy, did I ever laugh at her!!  Yea!  I said it!  I. LAUGHED. AT. MY. KID.  Don't judge.  You would have, too!  I told her that I made it sound so awful so that in comparison it wouldn't be so bad.  She was less than understanding at first but on the way home she said she's glad the blood draw wasn't so bad.

Been Awhile - Ya Miss Me Yet?!?!

Bad blogger!  Bad, bad blogger!  I know I've been absent lately, and I'm sure you're all SOOO happy to see me again!  (Insert large amount of sarcasm here, just for fun.)  I'm happy to report that I've actually been busy at work!  Wow.  I can't believe that's an actual highlight of my life right now.  How pathetic is that?  There was a time when I'd have been beyond happy to be able to fuck around on the computer for an hour.  Now I'm excited that I had actual work to do.  I think I may need to seriously re-evaluate my working situation, and soon.

Either way, that's where I've been.  My boss had me working on a take off for a job in Joliet.  As soon as I was done with that he handed me another take off for a job in Prairie Hills, and before I was even finished with that he'd handed me yet another take off for a job in Barrington.  Whew.  In case you were wondering, a take off is simply going through a set of plans, determining where there's glass, and getting the measurements for that glass.  This could be glass in door and/or windows - depending on what our scope of work is for that particular job.  It's a little more complicated than just looking at "pictures", but that's the basis of it.  There are others in my office who can do an entire take off in a day.  I however, being mathematically retarded, cannot.  Others can simply look at a drawing that is 10 feet 3 inches wide by 7 feet 2-3/8 inches tall, and based on the number of horizontal and vertical metal pieces in the window (they're called mullions, by the way) know that each piece of glass is x feet by x feet.  I cannot.  I need my pencil, calculator and PLENTY of scratch paper.  Leave me alone though and I'll get it for you, I just can't do it in my head like some of these savants.  Don't even get me started on what I go through if there are no sizes on the drawings and I have to measure them out using a scale.. Oh crap.

(Ha!  I was actually able to post a picture!  I'm a dork, but figuring out how to do that is sort of cool to me!  Above is a scale.  It's kind of like a ruler, but it's got three sides.  Each side has two different measurements.  Similar to how a map will have a legend - 1/4 inch equals 1 mile - all plans have a legend as well telling us how big a foot measures.  With this scale I can figure out fairly quickly how big a piece of glass is if the scale is in 1/8" increments.  Blah, blah, blah... I know.  Boring, but such is my life.)

I just got a call from L.  Their dad is coming into town this weekend so I'm going to be kid free!  Woo hoo!  On the downside of that, L has a soccer game Sunday morning that her dad is going to take her to, yet I need to be   That means I'm going to be forced to endure his company for 1 1/2 hours on Sunday.  Will it be rude of me to sit as far away from him on the sidelines as I can possibly get?  Would it be ruder still for me to act as though I have no clue who he is?  Just the thought of being in the same vicinity of him for anything longer than 10 minutes makes me want to vomit.  This is a guy who I have two kids with.  A guy who I lived with for 5 years.  Yet the thought of sharing space with him make me physically ill.  How pathetic is that?  Maybe the title to this post should be "How Pathetic Am I?"

Tired

I'm tired of my kids not understanding that money doesn't just grow in my wallet.  That it doesn't just appear in the bank.  I try and try to get them to realize that fundage is tight - and by tight I'm talking basically non existant tight - and as much as I'd LOVE to give them money to go to the mall with their friends, or to the movies, or to the High School football game, it's just not possible.  I'm tired of being broke and constantly having to tell my kids that I can't get them this or that, or take them here or there.

L wanted me to stop at McDonalds on the way home from the doctors office last week.  I told her I didn't have the money.  Her response was "Just go to the bank then."  What the hell?  Does she think that the bank just hands out money like samples at the grocery store or something? 

My biggest irritation with her is she's such a tight ass with her money, yet she thinks I poop it out or something.  She cuts my dad's lawn over the summer.  He pays her $20 each time.  From that $20 he gives her $10 and the other $10 goes into a savings account he opened for her.  I think that's great.  (It's much better than the IRA account he tried to talk her into a couple years ago.  Yea.  I put a nix on that one.  She'd like to be able to get the money out at some point before she's 18 so she can buy a car or something.) 

At one point over the summer she'd saved up $80.  I knew some was for a fair she was planning on going to and some was for Plato's Closet (a clothing resale shop - I explain because I don't know if they're just a local thing or all over), but I also knew she had some for "extras".  She planned on going to dinner with friends to Olive Garden.  She was getting ready for this dinner and asked me for $20.  I asked her where her money was and that little brat had the nerve to say to me (and quite snotty, too) "Why would I use MY money?  Can't you just give me money?"  She was lucky she had a friend over so all I said was "Well, why would I use MY money on a dinner that I'm not even going to?  Use your own money.  Things like this are what you're saving your money for anyway."  She was not a happy person.  God forbid she have to use her money on her dinner.

These are the things that bug the hell outta me.  I can't stand the fact that I can't afford to give my kid $20 so she can get dinner when she's going out somewhere special.  I can't stand the fact that no matter what I try to do my bank account is always in the red. 

It fucking sucks.

I Have A Confession...

Hello.  My name is Erin and I'm an addict.  I'm addicted to reality TV.  All sorts of Reality TV.  I am addicted to shows that have kids in them specifically (those aren't the only reality TV shows I watch).  I don't know why.  It could be because these shows make me realize that my kids aren't as bad as they seem sometimes, or that instead of having two kids I could have enough kids to form a league of some sort. 

There are some reality TV shows that I refuse to watch.  The Duggars for one.  I realize that everyone is entitled to their own beliefs (if you've read my blog for any amount of time you already know this.  If not - read my earlier posts.  I'd link them here, but honestly, I don't know how) and that's all good, but there comes a point where that woman is going to be chasing one of her kids up the stairs and her uterus is going to fall out.  I also refuse to be sucked into the cesspool that is Jersey Shore.  I have friends who swear this is the FUNNIEST show ever, but I don't see it.  They irritate me with their shellacked hair, fake tans and stupid nicknames.

I used to be a fan of Jon and Kate Plus 8 until that blew up into a competition of who's the better parent.  Been there done that.  I don't need to relive that period in my life.  Granted I had less kids then they do, but none the less.  Divorce is messy when there are kids involved no matter how you try, and I don't feel like reliving that time of my life.

I have moved onto bigger and better things!  Big Brother for one.  There is nothing better than being a virtual fly on the wall in a house with 13 people and watching them tear each other apart for $500,000.  Granted I've only watched the last two seasons, but I'm hooked on it now.  I can't wait until next summer!  My other guilty pleasure is Teen Mom.  I know this falls into my previously mentioned "been there done that" phrase, but it's a train wreck I can't turn off, and in fact have preset into my DVR to record faithfully.

Teen Mom is sort of along the lines of Supernanny for me.  When I watch Supernanny I realize that my kids aren't the worst kids EVER.  When I watch Teen Mom I realize just how far I've come.  I was a teen mom.  I was only 17 when I got pregnant with L, and 18 when she was born.  I can't tell you how many times, when she was a toddler, I was told what a good "big sister" I was for watching my "little sister" for my mom.  I watch these girls, who have made some HARD decisions in their lives, live with those decisions and struggle to do what they think is right.

It's such a train wreck for me because I've been there!  I know exactly what they're thinking and how their brains are working.  I thought it would all be fine and dandy, too.  Oh yes I did!  I was sure that Ken would have his job forever, we'd live in a little house and life would be grand.  Little did I know that Ken would job-jump his entire life (He's still doing it and he's 39 now), we would live - quite literally - hand to mouth, and we'd move 8 times in four years.  By the time we got evicted from our 2nd apartment in a row I'd had enough.  I didn't want to live like that anymore, and I didn't want our kids to live like that anymore.  I was lucky enough to have parents who let me and the girls move back home.  I was lucky enough to have that support and be able to get my GED and get a job and become a stable parent my kids needed.  Had my parents not be willing or able I have no idea where I'd be right now, but it wouldn't be pretty.

Kids Say The Cutest Things

This weekend we went to our friend's, Jenny and Scott's Engagement Party, and received the strangest greeting from children that any of us had EVER received before!  And that's saying a lot!

Jess, Abbey, Mike, M and myself were around the bonfire in the backyard.  Jess and Abbey were talking.  Mike and M were talking.  (I had the benefit of watching both greetings from the other side of the bonfire where I was attempting to keep my nasty cigarette smoke away from the group as they don't indulge in the dirty habit I'd LOVE to kick.  That's another post.):

Greeting #1

A little girl about 8 years old came up to Abbey from behind Abbey's chair, and instead of saying hello or a typical greeting - she reached out and ran her hand through Abbey's hair.  Abbey originally thought it was either Mike (her husband) or M as that's a typical thing they'd do to her just to get a reaction from her.  The look on Abbey's face when she realized that not only was a stranger petting her, but the stranger was a child was PRICELESS!

The little girl never said a word to Abbey.  Just petted her a couple times and then walked away!  Abbey said hello to her but she never acknowledged! 

Greeting #2

(This happened at almost the exact time Abbey's Greeting By Petting occurred which made it even funnier.)  Mike and M were talking.  A little boy about 3 years old walked up to Mike and said "I'm Donald and I'm just a kid."  Mike laughed and said "I'm Mike and I'm just an adult!"  Donald then says "Yea I know, but I'm just a kid!"  Donald then turned around and walked away.  He came back though.  With Yoohoo in a plastic wine glass.  He sat next to Mike and told Mike what he had in his glass.  Mike asked Donald if he knew what goes good with Yoohoo.  Donald said he didn't, so Mike told him Rum.  Donald said "Rumpelstiltskin?!?!  That's so FUNNY!!!!!"  Donald then laughed so hard he fell out of his chair.

We met another little boy.  We found out later his name is Colin (and he happens to be one of Jen's five kids).  We were sitting there with Donald, who at this point would tell anyone that he had Rumpelstiltskin in his glass, when another kid who looked to be about 2 or 3 years old sat down.  Since he sat next to me I asked him what his name was.  He said "I free (3)"  I thought he misunderstood me so I tried again.  "What does your mom call you?  I'm Erin and this is Abbey.  Who are you?"  He looked at me like I was dense.  "I free" he said.  "My borfday is Ausist firty-first"  So Abbey tried, "I'm Abbey.  That's Donald next to you.  What do we call you?  Three?"  He looked at her like SHE was dense now.  "Yea.  I free."  We gave up and for the rest of the evening we called him Three!

Before we realized he was indeed one of Jen's kids we were joking that he was probably one of their kids, and because between Jen and Scott they have so many kids (7 kids under the age of 6, including 2 sets of twins) they've given up on names and just call them One, Two, Three, etc.  Later we found out he IS Jen's son; is 1/2 of the first set of twins; he and his sister just turned 3 August 31st; technically he is her third born!!

Jen's oldest Daughter, Madelyn, was another funny kid.  She had been playing Queen with the hair petting girl.  She'd come out of her bedroom yelling down the hallway "Move back!  Move back!  Queen coming through!  Move back!"  At one point she was on the porch.  Mike was trying to get into the house and she wouldn't let him pass, because he didn't bow to her!  She insisted she was the Queen and he needed to bow first.  He insisted that he was bigger, which made him a King, so he didn't have to bow.  He finally realized he was losing this verbal battle with a 5 year old so he picked her up and moved her.  When he came out of the house she followed him into the yard.  She stood behind him with her arms crossed and glaring daggers into his head.  When he turned around all she did was use her pointer finger and middle finger to point at her own eyes, then point her finger at him!  She then stalked off!!!  I think I just about wet my pants at this point.

I cannot convey to you how incredibly funny these kids were.  After the strange greetings I was laughing so hard I'm embarrassed to say it but will put it out there anyway - I farted.  Then Donald fell out of his chair laughing at Rumpelstiltskin and we met a kid who thought his name was 3, and the hair petting girl decided to become my BFF for about 10 minutes while she ordered M to go to Taco Bell, it was too much!  Scott and Jen need to have more parties and just invite us and these kids. 

And Twins Make FOUR!

One of my best guy friends, Will, told me last night that his wife, Marnie, is pregnant.  Again.  Oh boy.  Not that I'm not happy for them, but they got married right after they found out that Marnie was pregnant with their first child, Lilly.  Lilly just turned 2 this past July 4th.  Then when I was talking to Marnie around Lilly's First Birthday she told me they were pregnant again.  Now they have a little boy as well.  I'm ashamed to say that I've never met their son, and I can't even remember for sure what his name is.  I think it's something like Logan and I think he's something like 7 or 8 months old now.  (I know I'm a horrible friend, but it's hard to find time to get together with people who're your friends, but who don't run in your "circle of friends".  I'm working on it.  I really am.)

Will had called me on Tuesday night but I didn't answer the phone because I was watching Sons of Anarchy.  Yes, I'm addicted to that show as well as countless others.  He left me a voicemail message but I didn't pick up the message until yesterday afternoon.  (Have I ever mentioned that I SUCK at returning phone calls?  I do.  I don't do it intentionally, but I'll get a call at a time when I can't answer - mostly during the work day - and I make mental notes to return the call... But I always forget.  I really try to remember, but most of my friends know how I am.  I don't do it intentionally.  I really don't.  I'm just not a big phone conversation person.  Text me though and I'll carry on one hell of a conversation that way!)  Anyway, his message said he had big news for me but that I had to call him back to find it out.  For crying out loud, Will!  When I called him last night I was sure he was going to tell me that he'd left Marnie.  I was gonna shoot him through the phone.  I don't know why I was so sure of that...  I'm very glad to report that's not the case.  They're pregnant again.  And this time it's twins.  I told him he needs to get his shit snipped.

His poor wife has been pregnant for... too long.  When Lilly had her first birthday they were pregnant with Logan.  When Logan has his first birthday they'll still be pregnant with the twins.  Will insists that she's been on the pill and they've always used condoms, but I have a very hard time believing that.  She said from the start that she wants a lot of kids.  Will always joked that if she was serious she was with the wrong guy.  A part of me thinks she sabotaged their birth control, but I don't know her that well so I can't say that for sure.

Hearing about this pregnancy makes me feel badly for the kids, too.  Will's an electrician and doesn't have a steady job.  Marnie used to be a florist but quit after Lilly was born and never went back.  I know money is tight for them.  So tight it's non-existent at times.  Now they're going to add two more mouths to feed and all that comes with that, which will trickle down to Lilly and Logan.  I just hope that Will can get a steady job cuz he's going to need it.  He's going to need the insurance coverage that will come with a steady job, too.  Hopefully it'll cover a vasectomy.

However, I'm glad to hear that they're all healthy.  Lilly and Logan are, and so is Marnie and the twins.  I've decided that the next weekend I don't have plans for already, will have a scheduled visit to the Will and Marnie household so I can see Lilly-Pad again and meet Logan.  Finally.

TOLD YOU!!

I should have been a doctor.  Or a nurse.  Then again... Maybe not.  I can't stand blood and needles and seeing people in pain.  Yea, that's why I'm not a doctor.

I took L to the doctor yesterday so she could tell me what I already knew.  Surprise, surprise.  L has a sprained ankle.  She was given an air cast and told to stay off her foot anytime she wasn't in school.  She's to come home, elevate the leg, ice it, and take ibuprofen every 4 to 6 hours.  This means no gym class and no soccer for two weeks.  It also means that she's not allowed to go running around with her friends after school which I can tell you without a doubt she is NOT happy about.  She actually thought she'd be able to go to her boyfriend's house today after school, and to the football game then a girlfriend's party on Friday.  She's outta her damn tree is what she is.

The rule with L and her soccer is simple.  We paid too much money for her to miss any practices or games.  Not that she was prone to this but there were occasions in the past where she'd claim cramps to avoid playing in a game or being too tired to attend a practice.  It's time for her to buck up and realize she made a commitment to this team.  We agreed to pay the outrageous amount of money for her to make that commitment to this team, and she will participate in all of the team events.  Obviously a sprained ankle needs to heal in order for her to participate.  I get that.  But if the ankle is to heal she has to stay off it as much as possible.  That means she can't go running around at football games, at parties, or to her boyfriend's house.  

I laid it out for her last night and she "doesn't understand".  Of course!  I explained to her that if she's too hurt to participate in soccer, she's too hurt to go out with her friends.  If she decides that she's ok to hang out with her friends, she can go to soccer.  I also laid out her options about her healing, and ultimately about soccer as well:

1.)  Go out with her friends, don't go to soccer, and don't go to Homecoming. 

2.)  Go out with friends, go to soccer, and go to Homecoming. 

3.)  Stay home for a while, let her ankle heal, return to soccer in 2 weeks and go to Homecoming.

I think it's pretty obvious.  Some people may think I'm being mean (L for one), but I don't see why I have to go into debt to pay for soccer and then allow her to act like it's nothing.  I know that injuring her ankle wasn't done on purpose, but I'm trying to get her to realize that when you make a commitment such as she did there are costs associated with that.  Both monetary and socially, and sometimes you have to give up doing something you really want because it's the right thing to do.

Am I being too mean to her?

Apparently the consensus on L's soccer team is that I'm a Bad Mother without actually being called a Bad Mother.  Because of this I'm forced to take my daughter to the doctor, spend the $30 on the co-pay in addition to whatever else the insurance ends up not covering, so I can be told that her ankle is sprained.  I can tell you right now without going to the doctor that her ankle is sprained.  I can also tell you that it's not broken.  No, I'm not a doctor or a nurse, but I've seen enough sprained wrists and ankles in addition to K's broken wrist two years ago to know the fucking difference.  I'm not one of those parents who will rush their child inside to the couch with a glass of juice and a cold compress because they tripped over their own feet.  I'll see my kid fall, I'll check out their scrape when they come inside, I'll wash it off - maybe put a bandage on it if necessary - and send them back outside. 

Me: "Oh, you fell?" 
Child: nods
Me: "Can you move it?"
Child: nods and moves body part
Me: "You'll live."

L rolled her ankle at soccer practice on Thursday.  Her ankle was pretty swollen Thursday night, but no bruising and she could move it as well as put weight on it.  Friday the swelling was starting to go down.  Friday night her ankle started to bruise along the bottom of the swelling.  Saturday the swelling had gone down even more.  Does anyone see a pattern here people?  It's.  Getting.  Better.  However, because I sent her to her soccer game on Sunday to sit on the bench with her team and show her support for the team even though I asked that they not play her, I'm labeled a Bad Mother.  Because I didn't take her to the ER Thursday night or to the doctor on Friday.  Her Coach was floored apparently that I didn't immediately rush her to the doctor.  He told her that if I'm not going to take her to the doctor then she needs to go see the Sports Trainer at school and they "can at least tape it up for you."  It makes it sound like I refused to let her ice it, wrap it in an ace bandage, or take any Tylenol.  (For the record, she has been doing all three.)

When K broke her wrist two years ago she broke it in two places.  I believed she was being the Hypochondriac that my children have a tendency to be.  Her wrist swelled in the two places where it was broken, and was bruised immediately, but only in those two spots.  I will admit that was an instance in which I should have taken her to the doctor but I was sure that it was just a bump and we didn't go to the doctor until the next morning.  Part of that was due to the fact that K wanted to attend the Kids Night In (a D.A.R.E. event held at the local bowling alley where the kids from her school were fed massive amounts of pizza and sugary sodas, and then let loose in the bowling alley for an all night Lock In.) and knew she wouldn't be allowed to go if she went to the doctor.  When her friends mom brought her home the next morning she laid in bed for 20 minutes just sobbing into her pillow because her arm hurt so badly.  I finally decided that a trip to the doctor was in order.  When the doctor said it was broken in two places I felt terrible.  To this day K won't let me forget that.

L's ankle is nothing like K's wrist.  I'm positive that it's only sprained, but guess what?  I'm taking her to the doctor tomorrow morning so that I can spend money I don't have for a doctor to tell me what I already know.  All because I can't stand the fact that people think I should run to the doctor every time my child falls.  There are times when a doctor visit is warranted and times when it's not.  This is not one of those times.  Why am I going again?

Mini-Vacation Over :(

I started to write this post and then realized that I was blabbering.  I mean, really, who cares that I spent two hours walking around Target "just because I could"?  I realize that I'm more like my Grandpa T than I thought.  That man just can't get to the point of a story to save his life!!  Although he is 84 so I guess he gets a pass on his story telling.  I'm sometimes surprised he can remember where his story was going to begin with.

Let me see if I can just "recap" my Mini-Vacation...  I did pretty much - Nothing.  Nada.  Zilch.  And while that's kind of frustrating because it was supposed to be a Vacation and that word in itself implies FUN, it was still relaxing to do nothing.  M tried to golf 18 holes on Thursday with Justin but they got kicked off the green just after teeing off on the 3rd hole due to lightening and pouring rain.  They got a voucher for a free game and a golf cart, so what did they do?  They went back on Friday.

L had her tournament on Saturday and Sunday.  Her team looked better than they did for the "Friendly" game the previous Saturday, and each game (two on Saturday and one on Sunday) they looked better and better; however, they lost game #1 on Saturday, tied game #2 on Saturday, and lost game #1 on Sunday. 

The team they played on Sunday is ranked 20th in the state.  They held their own for the first half and were actually winning 1 - 0.  In the second half they fell apart, the other team got it together, and they lost 1 - 3.  It would have been a tie except the other team got two penalty shots (direct shot in front of the goal with no defenders).  One was a bullshit call.  The girl from the other team tripped.  When she went down she grabbed her knee to make it look like our girl kicked her leg, which our girl did not.  That's considered playing the man and not the ball.  Because they were in the boxed off area in front of the goal it resulted in a penalty kick.  The second penalty kick was because our girl DID play the man and not the ball.  The girl from the other team had to be carried off the field.

You would think that I'd have remembered to wear sunscreen Saturday after burning my face off the previous Saturday, but I'm not that smart.  I ended up with a crispy face again after this weekend.  Saturday night M and I went to the Buffalo Grove Days Fair with Justin, Jessie and Karly to see a band called American English (they're a Beatles cover band) and Justin told me later that when he couldn't find our group after a beer run all he had to do was look for my glowing face.  Nice, Justin.  I love you too, Asshole!

Sunday night Beth and Craig came over for a fire.  It was a relaxing evening.  Beth was in a rare mood.  She doesn't often get drunk, but she tied a couple on and took one for the team.  I was getting another beer when she pulled "A Beth".  That means she stood up, lost her balance, tried to sit back down, landed on the arm of the chair instead of the seat, and fell over backwards.  She did this once at their house and cracked her head against their fence.  That time I saw it.  I wanted to help her because she hit her head, but I was laughing so hard that I knew if I got up I'd wet my pants!  I completely missed this time.  Apparently she hit the edge of the grill.  She's ok though.  She didn't hit it that hard I guess because she was laughing about it when I returned to the porch.

All in all it was a good 5 days off.  Now I'm counting down to Thanksgiving - my next extended weekend!!

T-Minus 55 Minutes!!!

It's T-Minus 55 minutes until my 5 day vacation!!  Yay!  I had originally wanted to take this vacation the week before school started so the girls, M and I could do something to celebrate the end of summer, BUT M's work decided to screw him over - again - and give someone else approval for vacation after they'd already told M he could take off.  Then decided to tell him, "Whoops.  Too bad.  You can't take off anymore on the days you wanted to, but you can take off the week before Labor Day."  Maybe that's actually a good thing.  He got an extra "day off" out of it - Labor Day.

The girls are back in school now so it's just going to be M and me tomorrow and Friday.  We had planned on going to Downtown Chicago to take one of the Water Tours, but OF COURSE it's supposed to rain tomorrow and then be chilly on Friday.  Blah.  I've always wanted to go on one of the Water Tours in Chicago.  I've lived my entire life (with the exception of 1 year and 3 months of HELL living in Columbus, IN with my ex-husband.  Hell being the ex-husband - not Columbus, IN.) in Chicagoland and have never been on one of these boats.  For our 8th Grade Trip we did go on the Spirit of Chicago, which is a boat that goes on the lake.  I don't remember much of that trip other than my friend Margot got a sunburn around the beautiful braid that hung down her back, one of my least favorite teachers showed up in a white skirt with navy stockings and white shoes which made all of the girls snicker at her, and the food and DJ were very good.  Other than that?  I remember nothing.  So yea.  I'd have liked to be able to take the Water Tour but I'm not about freezing my ass off or sit in the pouring rain on a damn boat when technically I can go to the city anytime I want.

L has her first soccer tournament this weekend in Palatine, IL.  Good thing is it's not far from us, about 45 minutes (an hour with construction).  It's far enough that I'm not going to be coming home in between the games which I've done with previous tournaments she's been in, but not so far that I have to get a hotel room and stay overnight.  I told her to bring her homework, a book, her iPod, etc.  I'm planning on getting a bunch of fruit from Caputos (a market close to me that has FANTASTIC prices on produce), making a bunch of sandwiches, and bringing the cooler.  Hopefully It's not too hot and not too cold on Saturday.  (This reminds me, I have to go to the library tomorrow!)

I saw this awesome sports tent at Sports Authority the other day.  It was basically a golf umbrella on steroids.  If you took an opened umbrella, laid it on the ground, and attached flaps to the sides to create a little side wall that is what you'd have with this sports tent thing.  The floor model they had on display had two chairs underneath this thing with room for a cooler in between the chairs and room on the other sides.  I want this badly.  Then I wouldn't have to sit on the bleachers and burn my face off.

I Don't Get It

I know I've posted my views on religion before and while I'm not trying to repost what I've already mentioned I have to get this off my chest.  Before I begin, let me say that I realize the religious views I'm speaking of are not those of a large group of people.  There are a very select group of people who subscribe to this religion and/or beliefs.  Don't be offended, these are my thoughts...

L had to choose a book to read over the summer from a list of books.  She had to have read this book before school started as they would be having a test on their selected book within the first week of school.  She chose a book called The Chosen One by Carol Lynch Williams.  I was scrambling for something to read last night so I borrowed this from her.  I'm just over 2/3 of the way through it and I'm having a hard time. 

I'm having a hard time putting it down and I'm having a hard time stomaching it.  It's about a family of Polygamists.  This man has three wives and something like 15 kids between them.  The main character is a 13 year old girl who is the eldest of the third wife.  She's just been "promised" to an Apostle of the Church who also happens to be her Uncle.  Not that I agree with polygamy, because I don't, but this is where I'm having trouble stomaching this storyline.  This is a thirteen year old girl who will be married to her uncle.  She is having a very hard time accepting this and is planning on running away, and that's as far as I've gotten.  The decision to marry this girl to her uncle was delivered to the family by The Prophet who claims to have visions or something like that from God Himself.  The Apostles and the Prophet are apparently very important people in this community and their word is final. 

I don't understand how someone, some people, can blindly follow someone because they "claim" to have a direct line to God.  The father in this book is upset that his daughter is to marry her uncle but only because of blood lines.  Not because it's a THIRTEEN YEAR OLD GIRL.  What parent would give their little girl to a grown man to marry simply because someone claims they were told to do so?  I don't get it. 

This community, they call themselves a Compound, have gated off their property.  There are no books allowed on the property unless it's the bible.  Girls are not allowed to choose whom they want to marry but are chosen by the men.  The men and the boys are the ones who will leave the compound to get supplies, food, etc.  When the three mothers in the story went to town to buy material for this girls wedding dress, the girl was directed not to look directly at anyone and not to look at their clothes because all of it is influenced by Satan.  I don't get it.

I could never imagine not being allowed to think for myself.  I could never imagine not being able to choose my spouse.  I could never imagine having my life lead for me and not having a say in it at all.  I can't imagine being so weak that I can't stand up for my children.  Anyone who may live this life, or have lived it, probably doesn't agree with me, and that's fine. 

Sorry.  That's my rant.  I just don't get it...

Weekend Review - Even Though Its Tuesday :)

This past weekend is kind of a blur.  I feel like I did so much yet I don't really remember doing anything.  Friday night began our bowling league.  This is the first time I've ever been on a bowling team.  I suck at bowling and this may be why I've never been on a team before!  I don't think I broke 90 for any of the three games!  I did have a good time though so that's got to count for something!  However, I didn't realize that bowling would stretch out your butt muscles.  My butt cheek hurt so badly all weekend!  So did my thumb.  I need to invest in a bowling ball drilled for my fingers and not use the house balls.  Especially since this league goes for 32 weeks...  Another plus is that we were able to talk Craig into changing the team name!  WOO HOO!  For years they've been the Boozing Rockstars.  I've despised that team name for as long as M has been bowling with them which is a long time.  I don't know why, I just have.  This year Craig, Paul, Beth, M and I decided that we would be Hungover Tomorrow.  I still like Beth's and my original team name idea - Mish and the Wet Fish.  (Paul's nickname is Commish because he's the Commissioner of the guys Fantasy Football league.  Comish somehow morphed into Wet Fish.  I have no idea why, but the nickname has suck.)

Saturday morning L had a "Friendly" soccer game to see how her team plays together.  The majority of these girls have ever played on a team together before, so this was a good way to see how they'll do.  If Saturday's "Friendly" game is any indication - they're going to be creamed each and every game.  L plays for a U16 team which means the girls are 16 years old or younger.  They played against the U14 girls team from their same club.  The U14 girls won 5 - 1.  This was supposed to be a friendly game, meaning it didn't count for anything and was just for fun.  Our girls would start to get rough and another girl from our team would yell "Friendly game!  Friendly game!" and the girl getting rough would back off a bit.  One of the U14 girls grabbed our player by the arm and threw her to the ground.  All because our girl was trying to get the ball away from her.  DUH!  That's kinda the point!  We got a penalty kick for it and that was our only goal.  L was not happy with the results of that game.

I managed to burn my face during that game.  It never even occurred to me to put sunscreen on before we left the house.  You'd think this was my first time.  I was sitting on the bleachers with the sun reflecting off them and onto my face for an hour and a half.  Now I look like an Umpaloompa with tan lines from my sunglasses.  I'm beginning to peel too and that is not a good look for me.

I found out L has a soccer tournament in Overland, KS October 1 - 3rd. She is not a happy camper about this. October 2nd is her Homecoming and she's been planning it since half way through summer. I've already paid for her entrance fee. That was part of the cost of her soccer. I'm responsible for lodging, travel expenses, and meals, but that can be worked out. I've explained to L that I've already partially paid for this and I'm trying to give her time to be responsible and realize that she made a commitment to this team which includes tournaments, and make the "decision" on her own to forgo her Homecoming. I have a feeling she's not going to come to this conclusion, and I'll end up being the "Bitch who makes her miss Homecoming".  The way I see it, she desperately wanted to be a part of this team.  She wanted to be on a Travel Soccer team instead of a Park District team.  I explained to her when I paid for it that she will not be allowed to miss any practices nor any games, and a tournament is a game.  (Several games back-to-back actually.)  This is not going to be pretty.

Saturday night M had his Fantasy Football draft at Paul's, and K had gone with her friend to Open Gym, so L and I ordered pizza and rented the movie Precious.  Oh my god - was that a good movie.  I didn't think I'd care for it much because it seems that when movies get raving reviews and awards and shit I end up not liking them much, but I was wrong.  That was a really touching movie.  If you haven't seen it I recommend you do.  Go to Redbox!  That way you only spend a dollar and if you end up not liking it - no biggie!  I love me some Redbox for that reason alone.

Our air conditioner has been on the fritz since this past Wednesday.  And of course it's been hot as hell in Chicago for the last week.  My landlord finally had a guy come last night to recharge it.  That makes it the 3rd time since Memorial Day Weekend.  You shouldn't have to put that much Freon in an air conditioner.  The air conditioner is leaking and needs to be fixed but my landlord's such a penny pincher that he'd rather pay for someone to come out every 1 1/2 months to put more Freon in it.  The guy out there last night even told my landlord it needs to be replaced.  (My landlord comes over to watch any time we have any repair work done on the house.)  M walked the air conditioner guy around the house when he was done and the guy told M that our landlord isn't going to do anything to fix the air conditioner.  I told M that the season for needing air conditioning is almost over.  As long as it lasts until the weather breaks that's fine for this year, but he'll have to do something about it next year.  We're going to be there for another 2 years and I'm not going to deal with a busted air conditioner every 1 1/2 months.  Especially when it takes our landlord nearly a week to get someone out there to fix it.

So far school has been going well for the kids.  I haven't heard any complaints from them in that department.  I had to explain to L last night that when she has soccer practice (Mon/Weds/Thurs) she's to come home and do her homework.  Then she can go visit her boyfriend at the skate park, but she's not to go there and do her homework.  I also had to explain to her that there's no reason for me to drive her the 2 1/2 blocks to her soccer practice when she's walked to Wal Mart over the summer.  Wal Mart is like 4 miles away from our house, but she wants me to drive her to soccer practice?!  She's out of her tree.  I also had to explain to her that she's not to use her cell phone while she's doing her homework.  What the heck is wrong with that child?!  She can't be further than 2 feet from her phone at any given time.  And if she can't read a text IMMEDIATELY she starts twitching.

K actually got up this morning.  On. Her. Own.  I'm so proud!  I heard her alarm going off right before I was walking out my bedroom door and she'd turned it off before I opened her bedroom door!  I walked into her room, saw that she'd turned off the alarm and was laying there with her eyes open.  She looked at me and said "I'm awake."  So I went to make coffee, feed the dogs and let them out.  When I got back upstairs I was sure she'd be asleep again, but she wasn't.  She was still in her bed, but she was awake.  Don't know what happened to change her from a Morning Mess to getting up with her alarm, but I'm liking it!