My brother's fiance has kicked herself into high gear.  Their wedding is 4 weeks away.  I'm giving her some leeway because, while I've never planned a "traditional" wedding, I can imagine that she's a little overwhelmed with the details now.  

Lianna's is in the Pool color that the other bridesmaids dresses are, and Kiley's is a black dress with, I believe, a pool colored flower on it somewhere.

www.davidsbridal.com 

I think this is Li's dress but even if it's not it definitely is the right color.  Ki's will be a different dress but I'm not sure what one they ended up agreeing on.

Sarah's being a little confusing as to the shoes she wants them to wear.  First she said no heel higher than 2 1/2 inches.  Then she said whatever size heel they want.  (I think that was before she realized that my 14 year old could practically run in my 4" heels.)  Then she was back to 2" heels for Li and flats for Ki.  This didn't go over very well with Ki because she knows Li looks like a giraffe with two broken legs in any heel higher than 1".  And Ki doesn't want to wear "baby flats".

The other day Li bought two pairs of wedges from Target.  I had told her that if she insists on wearing heels in the wedding they really need to be wedges so that when she walks she at least has some grace.  One of the wedges was 2 1/2" one was 3".  While the shoe color was black, as requested by Sarah, the wedge itself was cork.

www.target.com

These aren't the shoes that Li picked out but they're a good enough example of the black shoe with the cork wedge.  In my opinion, and let's face it - I'm SOOO out of fashion according to my kids, for a wedding that you're going to be walking in, in a formal dress, the cork makes these shoes too casual for the occasion.  There are plenty of shoes that have the black wedge that matches the black of the shoe.  

Li really likes the shoes she's picked (her friend and I convinced her that the smaller wedge was a nicer looking shoe) and doesn't want to exchange them.  I figured - Sarah's wedding, let Sarah decide.  I sent her an actual picture of the shoe via text with the question "Too casual for a formal wedding?  Your call..."  Her response was that would be fine.  Anything else would be to mature for Li.  

Um... Really?  You're talking about a 17 year old girl.  NOTHING, in her mind, is too mature.

Sarah had called me to give her approval of Li's shoes and during this conversation I found out that my girls aren't really a part of the Bridal Party but they're more of... I don't know.  An accessory to the bridal party, maybe?  I don't know how to explain it other than they won't be walking down the isle with a groomsman but will walk down the isle together.  At the reception, while there will be no assigned seating there will be three separate tables dedicated to the Bridal Party: One for Eric and Sarah.  One for 2 of the Bridesmaids and their dates, and 2 of the Groomsmen and their dates.  And another one for the other 2 Bridesmaids/dates and 2 Groomsmen/dates.  

Sarah and Eric forgot about Lianna and Kiley.  Then justified it to themselves that the girls wouldn't want to sit there anyway so it was no big deal.  I'm not even sure that the girls are aware yet that they aren't included in these reserved seating spaces.  They may not even want to sit there.  I don't know.

The second thing Sarah mentioned to me was that the girls will want to bring a pair of black flip flops to change into at the reception so their feet don't hurt.  (She obviously doesn't know my girls.  Li can wear the most uncomfortable shoe all day long, and will wear it all day long, if it looks nice.  Such a girl.  Ki - well, see my mention of her ability to run in my 4" heels earlier in this post and you'll agree that wearing a low heel all night won't be an issue for her.)  Sarah told me "I bought a pair for all of my bridesmaids as part of their gift bag.  I forgot about the girls though so I don't even have a gift bag for them."  Apparently these are gift bags that she's giving to all the Bridesmaids at the Reception Dinner.  So, in my mind, my kids will be sitting there anticipating a bag and not getting one.

I guess I just don't know how you can ask someone to be in your wedding, go so far as to get them into dresses that match everyone else's in the wedding party, but then basically ignore them for everything else.

Is this just me being irrational and letting my issues trickle over onto my kids or do I have a legitimate reason to feel as if my kids are going to be feeling left out?  How do I handle this?  If it's not me being stupid, or hormonal, should I say something to Sarah or just let it slide and deal with hurt feelings if there are any?

Pull Yourself Together Woman! You're A God Damned Mess!

Today's post title came straight from the mouth of my friend Karly.  Karly is one of those people who will tell you like it is and doesn't care if you like it or not.  God - I love that woman!  As usual, Karly is right.  I'm a goddamned mess.  I was so freaking sure, for this entire pregnancy, that I wasn't going to become a blubbering idiot that pregnant women always turn into.  And I wasn't.  Up until about two or three weeks ago.  Now I cry at everything.  And then I get mad that I'm crying, which makes me cry.  It's a vicious cycle I tell ya.

The most recent "Everything is going wrong.  Nothing is going right.  I hate everyone and everything.  I just want to be home in bed." episode was this entire week.

To begin with I've been dealing with some absolute ridiculous insurance requirements for one of our current projects.  No matter how long a subcontractor of ours has been onsite, when it comes time to renew their insurance it's a huge process of getting the right stuff.  Not to mention the headache it is to get the insurance squared away before a new sub ever steps foot on the jobsite.  Disaster I tell you.  Complete disaster.

My biggest problems with the insurance issue for starters is that I'm not an insurance agent.  I can only send to the companies we hire the insurance requirements.  When they send me their insurance back I can "read" a little bit of it but for the most part all of it may as well be in Swahili.  All in all it can, and has, taken weeks to get my subcontractors the proper insurance.  Meanwhile, they can't begin to do their work until the insurance is ok.

Also?  I can't force these subcontractors to jump all over the insurance and make them get me it.  All I can really do is to repeatedly tell them that they can't start until the insurance is approved.  Beyond that my hands are tied.  I try to stay on top of them, and I don't think I do such a bad job, but I do have other things that I work on as well.  My entire focus isn't insurance.

The second part of my "Everything SUCKS" week is that Craig turned over to me the responsibility of getting the LEED information for the same project as the insurance catastrophe project.  I mentioned this in a previous post.  I'm still beyond furious about this.  He has not a clue what kind of horrors this type of stuff is to do last minute.  I've been trying to get as much done as I can but there is information from him that I need and he's "too busy" to sit down with me and go over it.  I've repeatedly informed him that I need his help.  He repeatedly ignores me.

Next is the "I hate everyone and everything" part of my week.  I promise you that I am not always this mopey and neither is this post.  Hang with me for a minute more...  Craig came into the office on Weds and headed straight into our boss's office.  They then came out to my desk.  My boss asked me why the insurance isn't being handled.  He was very rude about it as well.  Craig was standing behind him with a look on his face that made me want to beat the shit out of him.  I showed him all of the email correspondence between me and the subs, and me and the general contractor to show him that I was working on it.

He then wanted to know why I wasn't getting the LEED information.  I had a hunch when Craig was standing there with a smug look on his face, and this question from my boss confirmed it - Craig threw me under the bus.  He was getting reamed out for not having the subs onsite and not getting the LEED information to the general contractor, and instead of telling my boss that I was working on it he just laid all the blame at my feet.

So I decided that if I was gonna be road kill - so was he.  I simply turned it all around on him and explained to my boss that this insurance requires more than a days notice to get due to how complicated and expensive it is.  If I had been given at least a week I could have gotten it a lot quicker but as it was I was given less than 24 hours notice since Craig doesn't even call the office before lunchtime, let alone come in.  I also informed him that I've requested face to face time with Craig on several occasions to go over the LEED info, of which I've been ignored, as well as the face that LEED info is not easy to get and I am working on it but again it takes time.

The final part of my "Everything is going wrong" week was yesterday when my female boss informed me that I would not have 2 weeks paid time off in September because according to her records I have only been here for 3 years and not 5.

Wha... WHAT?!

I started at this company the day after Labor Day 2007.  In March of '09 I was temporarily laid off as the company was struggling to stay open.  During the 6 months I was "laid off" I was still working here 2 days a week to help them out by doing the things that either no one else really remembered how to do or that they didn't have time to concentrate on.  In September of '09 I came back full time.  According to my boss the return date in Sept '09 is the date they consider my start date so I didn't have the 2 weeks in September as I thought.  I was furious.  While I'm appreciative of everything they've done for me here, this made me feel like shit.  I was so mad I was ready to quit right then and there.  I was pissed off all night about this.  I was actually trying to get in touch with Dick to see if his company had any openings, I was so mad.

Thank you for reading all that bullshit to get this far.  Here is where I start to perk up...

When my female boss came into the office this morning she told me that she and her husband (did I ever mention that both my bosses are married to each other?) talked it over and they are not going to look at the time I was "laid off" as if I wasn't working here.  So September is my 5-year anniversary and I will have 2 weeks PTO to use on my maternity leave.  In addition to that they will pay me 1/2 my current salary for the remaining weeks I am off.

Whew...  While that doesn't make up for Craig being a wimpy-ass-crybaby BITCH, it did help to make my work week end on a slightly better note than it started on.

Due to all this bullshit I was a blubbering idiot this week.  I'd call Jessie in tears and she'd pretend to understand what I was babbling about.  I was at home watching Say Yes To The Dress Bridesmaids and you could tell this one bridesmaid felt so very out of place among the other bridesmaids that I started to cry for her.

REALLY?!?!  IT'S REALITY TELEVISION!!

Holy crap.  Karly is SO right!  I'm a GOD DAMNED MESS!

Weekend Recap

My bosses purchased 10 tickets to a charity fundraiser for Multiple Sclerosis.  They then asked all of us here in the office if we'd be interested in going.  I was going to decline mainly because when I looked at the flyer with the information on it I realized it was a barn dance.  The fundraiser was being called "Stompin Out MS".  Then my company paid to fix the springs on my car which cost $600 so I felt like I kind of had to go.  M was less than pleased.  Until he found out that there was an open bar and that both Craig and Beth, and Justin and Melissa were going, too.  It ended up being an alright evening.  The open bar was a lie.  Instead it was a "$10 bottomless drink" thing but they only had Miller Lite, Highlife, Wine and Mikes Hard Lemonade's.  M is not a Miller drinker, nor does he drink wine.  He ended up drinking Hard Lemonades all night and since those go down pretty easily, and quickly, he was feeling no pain by 9pm.  Not obnoxious, just no pain.  I despise country music and I refuse to line dance to any song.  The night would have been 80x's better if I'd have been able to drink. (I was designated driver for ourselves and Beth & Craig because obviously.)  I wasn't forced to hang out with my bosses all evening, and both Beth and Craig were in good moods so it wasn't too bad.  Until I was ready to go at 10pm and they were all "Let us have just one more drink" which turned into 2 or 3 until at 10:30 I told them I was leaving with or without them.  They thought I was kidding until I got up from the table and said my goodbyes to my bosses.  They followed like dutiful children then...

Sunday morning Sarah came over to "plan" my family baby shower that she's throwing.  I'm still unsure of why she had to come over to do this as email would have been just fine, but it wasn't too bad.  I'm not sure how much planning of the shower we did as Ki got her started on her wedding (which is in 6 weeks so that's all Sarah really wants to discuss right now anyway) and then suddenly Sarah saw that she had to go home to get ready for her first dress fitting.  I think my shower will be at their condo, will be a jungle theme, will be in the evening and we'll have kabobs.  Other than that?  I'm not sure...  Whatever.  Tell me when to be there and I'll show up.

Later in the afternoon I get a knock on my door.  The lady standing there wants to talk to Kiley's mother.  Fuck.  "What the hell did she do now?" is what I'm thinking.  Apparently Ki called her ex-boyfriend (what?) Nick pretending to be me and said "This is Kiley's mother.  If you don't stop harassing Kiley and Emily I'll be going to the police."  (Ki had her friend Emily over.  They weren't home at the time but had just left my house.)  They then texted him the same message.  Luckily for me the mom was pretty cool about the whole thing.  She said she was pretty sure the voice mail wasn't from an adult, and the text lingo in the text message appeared to her to not be from an adult either, but she said she wanted to come talk to me to make sure that there wasn't an issue as her son is insistent that he's not contacting the girls at all and that they're the ones contacting him.

Of course I was furious.  This is not the first time that Kiley has been in trouble for using her cell phone inappropriately.  This is also not the first time that I've had parents show up at my door because of her behavior.

Long story short, I made Ki come home.  I took Emily home.  Ki has lost her cell phone use for the time being.  I'm not grounding her during the day because I'm not there to enforce it, and if I ground her she'll just leave anyway making sure she's home in time to not get caught.  So she'll be grounded for the evenings for an undetermined amount of time.  I'm being a little lenient on this punishment because after looking at the cell phone usage history online I could see that she did instigate the issue with this boy by calling him, but after she called him he texted her 4 times before she texted him pretending to be me again.  He then texted her 8 times before she replied once.  He then texted 4 times before she replied again.  And his texts to her were not one right after the other - there were several minutes between texts that I can tell.

Ki and Emily are insistent that he's been harassing them for a while now.  That he's memorized both their addresses, their phone numbers, their birthdays...  I'm not sure how much to believe at this point, but I'll be keeping a very close eye on her cell phone from here on out - especially after (if) she gets it back.

I'm so tired of teenagers and their constant bullshit.