Letter to My Husband (and "Youth Shooting" Question)

Dearest Husband,

I love you very much.  You should know this by now.  Otherwise, why else would I put up with your shit?  No, really?  Why?  Your "schedule" seems to revolve around our need to be out of the house and on our way... anywhere.  I could tell you that we would win $4 Million dollars if we are at such-and-such a location at EXACTLY a specific time, and you would have to use the bathroom right before we leave thereby causing us to miss out.

You need to re-schedule your bathroom times to any other time than right before we leave.  Every.  Damn.  Time.  I'm tired of telling people we'll be here or there at 4 pm for dinner only to have to contact them at 3:50 to inform them that, yet again, we will be closer to 4:30.  Luckily no one ever questions our consistent lateness. Unfortunately I'm sure that secretly they blame me.

I've tried to tell you that we need to be at specific locations a half hour earlier than we really need to be there in the hopes that I can trick your colon into using the facilities in a time frame that is more useful to our social needs, but no such luck.  You think "no party starts" without you.  Sorry to say this, Darling Husband, but that's not so.  (By the way, the next time I hear you complain about how your friend Carrie is ALWAYS late I will punch you in the throat.)

Love You Always,
Your Wife

BLOG ENTRY PART TWO - (Aren't you a lucky bunch!!)

While getting ready for work in the morning I have the local CW news on in the background.  Really the only reason is so that I can find out the weather, but also so that I'm not completely lost if something major is happening and someone wants to discuss it with me.  (Good luck, whomever you are trying to talk to me about news related items.  However, there are times in which I do like to not look like a complete idiot.)

This morning I heard the anchor talking about the shootings in Chicago having been excessive, even for Chicago standards, over the holiday weekend.  They were talking about a couple of the shootings.  Then a man came on camera, and I don't know if he was an Alderman or some community leader or just a Chicago resident, but his explanation for the excessive shootings was:

"You're talking about a great number of frustrated and angry youths."

Are you fucking kidding me?  So apparently, if you're a youth and you're frustrated and angry you can shoot a human and it's accepted to some degree because you're angry and frustrated?  Bullshit.  I can't believe this person actually thought that a good and valid reason to the shooting of HUMAN BEINGS was because the person doing the shooting was an angry and frustrated youth!

Granted, I grew up in the suburbs, but how does one not know that it's wrong to shoot someone?  Even if I grew up in the shittiest ghetto of Chicago (ahem... South Side) as a human you know, you know, that you're not supposed to shoot people simply because you're angry and frustrated!

I really and truly do NOT understand how some people operate....  The man claiming that anger and frustration is a valid excuse to use deadly force on other humans is, in my opinion, why the cycle of violence continues in certain places.  Never in a million years would you see my family members or community members supporting me if I decided to start shooting people simply because I was angry and frustrated.  

My god... Do you realize how many people I would have been able to get away with killing if that were the case?!  

Garage Sale Pre-Shopping

My friend Stef, her mother and her sister are having a Garage Sale today, tomorrow and Saturday.  Stef has two children, a boy (3 1/2) and a girl (2 1/2) - they're less than a year apart by weeks; Irish Twins.  Her sister, Erica, has a daughter who is about 6.

Stef has kept every single piece of clothing her children have ever worn.  Since she and her husband, Chris, are not having any more children, she decided that she'd sell her kids out grown and un-used stuff.  Back in April there was a huge garage sale type of sale called The Trendy Tot's Sale held at the DuPage County Fairgrounds in Wheaton.  I believe a portion of the proceeds went to charity but I'm not 100% on that.  However, that sale would not allow brands such as Target, Walmart, and K Mart to be sold.  (I'm not sure exactly why, but the argument was that children's clothing from these retailers is not quality clothing so they sale organizers didn't want those brands sold.)  Stef and her sister were able to sell a lot of their stuff at this Trendy Tot's Sale, but they also have a lot of clothing left over - hence the garage sale.

When I found out on Monday that we're having a boy, Stef told me to come by her Mom's place Wednesday after work and I could have whatever I wanted.  By the time I was done I felt as though I've ripped her off!  They already had nearly everything out on racks in the garage and they were all labeled with sizes, prices, etc.  I kept pulling stuff out and then putting it back on the rack.  Stef's mom, Fran, saw me do this several times and asked me if something was wrong.  I told her that I felt that I should give Stef a chance to make some money on this stuff before just taking it (they had flat out refused money from me).  Fran just laughed at me and said "If you like it - take it."  Stef also said nearly the same thing.  She said that most of the clothes she's gotten for each of her kids have been gifts from others so she's not really "out" any money by not selling it to me.  I think that's mostly BS to make me feel better.

When I was finished looking through the clothes, Fran directed me to a table that had sleepers, crib sheets, receiving blankets, socks, etc.  She then started pulling stuff out and handing it to me!

"Oh!  You need this crib sheet."
and
"Take these receiving blankets - they're so cute with sports balls all over them!"
and
"Jack just LOVED these Spiderman slippers.   Take these."

She even ended up giving me an extra mattress for a pack n play.  She and Stef both said that the mattress that comes with the pack n play is really thin, so it was nice to have an extra mattress for it.

I ended up coming home with two large Kohl's bags and two medium sized bags as well as the mattress!  I have forgotten how absolutely tiny a newborn baby is.  Even a baby a couple months old is tiny.  I was showing M a sleeper that's size 3 months.  He said "That's too small.  It won't fit him."  I looked at it, remembering how tiny they start out, and told him "Just wait.  He'll be swimming in it."

** For anyone in the Chicagoland area - There will be another Trendy Tot's sale sometime in September also to be held at the DuPage County Fairgrounds.  I missed the one in April but plan on going in September and hopefully getting anything I may still need for the baby.  This sale has everything you could possibly need/want for Infants, Toddlers, and Children, and the clothing sizes go up into the Juniors.  When I get the information about the exact dates I will post the information here.

Random Mind-Vomit

I'm sorry.  I have to purge this shit or my brain feels like it's going to implode.  I know for a FACT that I will upset people by putting this out there onto the internet but I don't give a fuck.  My blog = my thoughts.  I will write what I write and if I offend you... So be it.

Breastfeeding

While I am completely for breastfeeding, like every thing else in this world, there a limit the benefits.  I get that some mothers don't want to wean their children because it is a special bond between mother and child.  I get that.  Breastfeeding your baby in public?  Fine.  As long as you're somewhat discrete, and I only say that because I don't think I should have to tell my toddler/young child why that lady is showing her boobies in public, you have every right to feed your child.  If you can't be discrete about it you need to practice at home before going out in public.

However, it is scientifically proven that there is no health benefit to your child breastfeeding beyond 12 months old.  At this point your child is no longer getting the nutrients he/she needs to grow.  If you feel that you still want to breastfeed your child at this age, fine.  Who am I to tell a mother she can't have that bond still?  But I can tell you that you are crossing a line when this shit is out in the public.  In my opinion, this is the age where it becomes bullshit.  Would you tell your child that they can have that cookie right before bead simply because they want it?  No.  Would you allow your child to ride in the car without a car seat because they want to?  No. So why are you giving them your boob simply because they want it?  Maybe you want it.  Which makes me say you need to go see someone about your issues.

This shit is gross.

Gay Marriage

Why can I marry my husband but my brother can't marry his boyfriend?  As a married person I have the right to tax breaks and hospital decisions to name just two.  Really, who determined that "Marriage" is only supposed to be between a man and a woman?  Oh, that's right.  The most popular work of fiction EVER.  The bible.

When I see signs proclaiming that marriage is only supposed to be between a man and a woman I get so angry I want to drive my car right through that shit.  If two people truly love one another and want to spend their lives together - who is ANYONE else to say they can't?  When I hear people spewing the venom of hate, because that's what it is, I want to punch them in the throat.  I cannot begin to explain the depth of my hatred for people such as these...

Don't even get me started on the bullshit that they can still live together forever and all that shit.  They should be allowed to the same damn rights that I have as a married person.

Because that's what it's really about, isn't it?

Religion and Politics

Isn't there some law about separation of Church and State?  I tried to google that phrase but it's a little tricky... From what I can gather our Founding Fathers wanted a wall of separation between the church and the state, but what that meant exactly is a little lost on me.

In either case why is it that every single political campaign ends up being based on that particular candidate's religious beliefs?  Why should the fact that Candidate A is a devout catholic, while Candidate B is a Prodistant, and Candidate C is Agnostic even play a fucking part in the politics of the United States?  What church you belong to should not make a damn bit of difference when it comes to politics but that's really what it is.  Politics I mean.  It's a damn war to see which religion is the most popular.

Those are the rants I had to get out of my system.  I'm sure there will be more.  I didn't put this out there to offend anyone.  All opinions are my own and since this is my blog, I will write what I want.

You're Wrong. Just Admit It And Get On With Your Life

Why is it that some people just can't admit when they're wrong and leave it at that?  Why do some people insist on arguing their case even after proof that they're wrong has been provided?

Example:
Both my Aunt D and I have naturally curly hair.  She posted on Facebook the other day a little joke asking how you wear your naturally curly hair when it's humid and then posted right after that "Frizzy!"  The obvious joke being that when you have naturally curly hair you have very little choice as to how your hair behaves in humid weather.

I posted on her thread about how when it's humid my go-to hair style is to straighten it.  I used to wear my long hair in a messy bun but since cutting it shorter than my normal length it's now too short for the messy bun.  I also commented that if she can pull it off she could try a scarf.

This was kind of an inside "joke" between my aunt and myself.  We constantly joke about how our hair is ridiculously frizzy all the time.

One of her friends commented that she could try product.  To which both my aunt and I replied that there really is no product that truly takes away the frizz unless you coat your hair in it.  In which case your hair is greasy and gross.  The best you can do is manage the frizz to an extent.

A couple of days later another of my aunts friends commented that there IS product that really DOES take away the frizz (she really wrote those words in CAPS, too).  She then listed two or three products and proceeded to tout these as if it were her job to sell these products.  What really took me by surprise though was that she herself said in the same comment something along the line of "I know you're thinking - but she has straight hair.  I got a perm recently and can TOTALLY understand your issue with frizz!  LOL!"

I couldn't let it go.  I had to comment.  My comment was along the lines of:
"There is a huge difference between a synthetic curl, or perm, and a natural curl.  Your curl still has the qualities of your straight hair simply curled."

I figured that was that.

I was wrong.

I then got messaged by this woman still arguing her case!  She was insisting that I didn't know what I was talking about and that if I just tried these products she's sure that I'd win "the battle of the frizz"!  I couldn't believe this lady.  What I find funniest is that I have tried the products she was mentioning and they don't work any better or any worse than any other product.  Yet again I tried to explain to her that when my hair is straightened it does not have the smooth and shiny appearance that someone with naturally straight hair has.  It's still a coarser hair overall because just straightening it does not change the make up of the hair itself.  When her straight hair was permed it did not change the make up of her naturally straight hair so the anti-frizz products probably did work for her as her hair is 90% less frizzy naturally than mine or my Aunt's.

She replied to me again this time insisting that I don't know how to manage my curly hair and that I would probably benefit from some professional assistance from an experienced and educated hair stylist.

Yeah.  Because after 33 years* of hair so curly I look like Little Orphan Annie if my hair is cut shorter than my shoulders, I don't know how to manage my curly hair.  Bite me.

I proved her wrong with examples.  All she had to do was look at my Aunt's hair and she'd realize that she was wrong, yet she still insisted she was right.

*I'm not shaving a few years off my age.  I had poker straight blond hair until I was 2.  My Mother insists that I woke up on my 2nd birthday with my hair curled to my head and brown. There are pictures of me in the fall before my 2nd birthday with very straight, very blond hair.  Then there are photos of me in late winter/early spring after my second birthday and my hair is curled to my head and red/brown in color.  I shit you not.

Am I Good Enough Yet?

I guess it's not surprising that this pregnancy is bringing up all sorts of mixed feelings about my Mother's side of the family, but at the same time it is still surprising.

We have a wedding to attend this weekend for my Cousin B.  This will be the first time that I'm seeing my Mother's side of the family while looking more like I'm pregnant than looking like I need to lay off the cookies.  I have not made a big announcement within the family that I'm pregnant.  If anyone is "friends" with me on FB they all know.  I have a weekly update from babygaga.com that posts every Saturday and indicates how far along I am, how many weeks I have left, and the milestones that the baby is reaching for that week.  However, I'm not "friends" with all my aunts, uncles and cousins from my Mother's side of the family so I'm not 100% sure that everyone knows.

In my experiences with my Mother's family news travels fast.  Very fast.  I think most families are like this, especially large ones.  BUT - also in my experiences with my Mother's family when news makes its way through the grapevine that is not perceived by the majority to be "good news" that side of the family can be downright cruel.  My experiences with announcing pregnancies with this side of my family are not fond memories of joyous laughter, hugs, kisses and wishes of good thoughts and healthy babies.  The memories I have of announcing pregnancies are being ignored and treated as a leper.

So... I'm anxious about attending this wedding on Saturday.  I don't know how I'll be treated.  I don't know if I'll be congratulated or if I'll be relegated to that dark corner reserved for the family and friends invited only out of duty and not because you actually want to celebrate with them.

In my rational part of my brain I know that I'm not a teenager anymore.  I'm a married woman of 35 years old and there's no reason for my family to treat me as anything else.

In my hormonal, un-rational brain I remember announcing my pregnancy with Ki.  It was Thanksgiving.  We were in my Aunt and Uncle's house - which is very small so I know everyone heard me - and I made the announcement as everyone was sitting down to eat:  "We have an announcement.  This time next year there will be another baby J_ _ _ _ _ eating with us!  I'm pregnant!!"  You could hear a pin drop.  Not one person said a damn thing to me.  Nothing.  I was humiliated and hurt beyond belief.  Not one person said anything to me about the pregnancy at all.

And oh my god - the talk I keep hearing about how all my aunts and uncles went to see Cousin C's baby and how they were so excited to hold him (well, duh!  He's an adorable little boy, but that's beside the point) and on and on...  Know who came to see me and my children when they were born?  My Mother and Father, and my Aunt C on my Dad's side of the family.  That's it.  No one else came to see me or them.

I'm prepared to go to this wedding.  I'm prepared to stay for the reception.  I'm also prepared to turn around and walk right back out.

But I really hope it doesn't come down to that...