Well I Never Would Have Expected This...

I was in desperate need of something to read as I hadn’t had a chance to get to the library and was out of books. I borrowed L’s Twilight book fully expecting to dislike it, but wanting to read it anyway. Oh my! Was I ever wrong! I can totally see the pull this series of books has on young girls. It sucked me in and I’m an adult who knows this is ALL FICTION!

Honestly? What female wouldn’t be thrilled to know that the guy she’s so in love with would literally protect her with his life? The fact that he’s practically unstoppable is just an added bonus. What I dislike is how incredibly head-over-heal gaga Bella is for Edward. I get that the lore of Vampires is that they’ve got some mind control B.S. or something that causes her to feel this way to a degree, but I’m still bothered that she’s so “Don’t leave me! Don’t leave me! I couldn’t live if I didn’t have you!” The book describes her as so very weak in that regard. That bothers me. I think that sends a bad message to young impressionable girls about love and life. You should NEVER be so dependent on a guy that the thought of him leaving you sends you into hysterics.

That issue aside, I do realize this is a work of fiction, and is intended for entertainment purposes. Boy did it entertain me. So much so that I borrowed L’s New Moon book as well and am halfway done with that one. 

I once dated a guy named Kevin who was a firefighter. He was HOT but was a gigantic D-Bag. I remember something he once told me about his theory on women and the men they choose. While on most accounts Kevin was completely full of himself, this theory rings true to me. He said that most women are physically attracted to men who are bigger than them and it has nothing to do with preference, and everything to do with nature. He described it as such – Back in the days of the huge predators, Ice Age maybe? In order for women to procreate they needed to survive. They couldn’t survive and care for their offspring at the same time. They required a man to protect them, and a scrawny man wouldn’t be able to do the job. The man needed to be brawny.

While most things that came out of Kevin’s mouth were completely chauvinistic and irritating, (such as the time he decided to tell me that all women have a fat friend so that they can make themselves feel better about themselves when out in public. Great guy, huh?) this theory about protectors makes sense especially when I started reading New Moon.

I can’t put this one down either. I’m transplanted back to the time in my life when I experienced my first real heartbreak. You women remember this, don’t you? When it actually feels like someone has ripped out your heart and left a gaping wound in your chest? Before the ache went away and you would do ANYTHING to hear his voice or see his face? I remember it vividly. I remember it so vividly I’m actually beginning to ache a little with remembering that pain, and despite what anyone wants to say, a broken heart hurts like hell.

In reading these books I’ve become curious about the actors and actresses who played in the movies. Yes, I DVR’d Twilight when I was on the other day and watched it last night. As always, the book is SO much better… Anyway, I read on Robert Pattinson’s Wikipedia page that he’s a singer as well as an actor and two of his tracks are in the Twilight movie. I listened for them while watching the movie last night and recognized words in one as “Let Me Sign”. He’s actually very good. He has a unique sound as well. So much so that I’m trying to find an MP3 of that song to download to my iPod.

While I realize that this series of books are works of fiction, it doesn’t stop me from enjoying them completely as thought they were reality. That’s what I love about books. They can transplant you to another time, place, universe, and you can always come back to reality.

TSA - Necessary Security or Abuse of Power?

I'm not an air traveler.  I don't have a reason to be one.  I don't often travel outside my "bubble" of the Chicagoland Area.  I have flown in an airplane, but not in the last couple of years.  That being said - All this hubbub about the TSA screening vs the TSA pat downs has me wondering. 



On one hand - if you don't want to be subjected to the screening system the solution, as far as I see it, is simple - don't fly.  There's no rule that you cannot drive to your destination.  Or take a bus.  Or a train.  Travel by air is the preferred method due to the time constraints we as Americans put upon ourselves, however it's not a requirement to get from point A to point B.

On the other hand - Say I HAVE to get to California TODAY due to some horrible catastrophic emergency, there's no way I want to have my 13 and 15 year old daughters subjected to strangers "feeling them up" or looking at them on some machine.  As an adult I can rationalize that fact that this is how air travel is now, it's for the "greater good" and all that jazz, but I can't imagine any parent would feel comfortable with subjecting their children to this system.

It really is a... Catch 22?  Is that the phrase?  How about "your damned if you do and damned if you don't"?  I guess that pretty much sums up what I mean.

I think my real question is not the here and now of the security screening system, but the long term affects.  I'm reading that some people are fearful of the scanners due to radiation and what sort of health issues they can cause.  The TSA is assuring the public that these machines are not harmful to our health, but how can they really know that?  My mother and a good friend travel a lot for their jobs.  They go through the scanners at least twice a month if not more.  What if the government finds out that the constant and repeated trips through these machines is linked to cancer or some other horrible disease?  What kind of compensation will the government issue to those afflicted?

Several years ago I suffered from adult acne.  It was horrible.  I was getting huge pimples all over my face.  Not only were they unsightly, they were painful as well.  After several attempts with various prescription acne medications my cosmetologist decided that I should try Accutane.  This medicine was so powerful, I had to watch a video, take a blood test for pregnancy, sign several consent forms, and study a binder of information (I'm not kidding about this.  I had a 2" 3-ring binder that was imprinted with the black and yellow caution colors) before my doctor could prescribe the medication the first time.  After she prescribed the medication for me I had 7 days to go online and answer 10 questions about the medication correctly and then I could only get the medication from an approved pharmacist.  The pharmacist had to verify that I had answered the questions before he/she could dispense the medication.  I was not allowed to be in the sunlight at all or I risked getting 3rd degree burns.  I couldn't drink alcohol at all.  I could NOT get pregnant.  Before my doctor could prescribe the next months medication I had to take another blood test to verify I wasn't pregnant and that all my enzymes and other organ functions were working correctly.  Then the whole thing started again - answer questions, go to the approved pharmacy, etc...

I was on this stuff for a total of 6 months.  I was taken off the medication by my doctor because my liver enzymes started to rise and wouldn't go down.  At the time I thought this was a miracle drug.  For about a year after being taken off it I never got a single pimple.  I'm starting to get them again, but not nearly as badly as I did.  However,  I got notification in the mail recently that the use of Accutane has been linked to stomach ulcers, Crohn's Disease, and other health issues.  Luckily I haven't had any problems with any of these, but what if I had?  Would the health issues after the fact be worth not having the acne?  It's easy to sit here and think "Yeah.  My acne was so bad it hurt to talk sometimes."  I've never had ulcers before, but I've heard they're painful.  I've never had Crohn's Disease, but I used to work with a guy who did and when it flared up he was in bad shape.

Maybe these are just things we have to deal with if we want security.  If we want progress.  If we want better looking skin?

Warning: THIS POST IS RANTING Just giving you a warning! :)

This is the part of my job I really dislike… I’m trying to get two things completed this week due to the holiday. I want to get my PO book up to date and I want to get my Waiver for Quin School ready ahead of time so I can pick up the check when I’m told it’s time and not have to wait a day or two to get it together.

Quin School – I emailed Ron asking him on Thursday to get me the names of the companies to be listed, their contract description, and the amount of their contracts. I told him why I wanted it; that I’m anticipating a check release before December 1st. It’s now Monday. I had to email him again this morning and his reply was “we’ll work on this after lunch”. We? Since when did YOUR job become a WE project?! It’s not my job to get that information together. I wouldn’t mind gathering what I could except for that 1.) Ron doesn’t put ANYTHING in the PO book until I get on his case to do so (this would be where I’d get my information for the waiver from) 2.) If I did feel like wading into his cesspool of an office to find the information myself, which as far as I’m concerned is a hazard to my health to even breathe the air in there, I would never be able to decipher the chicken scratch that is his handwriting.

PO Book – I’m supposed to type up all correspondence that leaves this office regardless of what it is. I don’t do this. Not because I don’t want to, but because these three guys have been doing things the way they do them for so long that change does not come easily to them. They do not embrace it. They do not try it out to see how much time is saved by having me do this type of work for them. (Not to mention Craig’s such a micro-manager even if he did give me his typing, he’d be looking over my shoulder the whole time correcting me as I type.) Whatever… You want to keep working the way you did before? Fine, but quit complaining to me about how much work you have to do but don’t have time to complete. GIMME YOUR TYPING, BITCHES!! I digress…

I came across two PO’s (that’s where I was going! I’m supposed to type PO’s too but that falls into their “can’t change how we operate” category) that are missing from the PO Book. One is from Mike, the Big Bossman, and one from Craig. I emailed both, separately, requesting an emailed copy so I could enter into the book. Mike sent me his no problem. Craig replied, “I had to give Mike a copy to sign. Can you get it from him?” Really? This takes me to an entirely different level of irritation. Why are you asking me to get a document from Mike that you should have gotten back already? YOU wrote the PO for YOUR job. YOU sent it to Mike for his signature. IT’S YOUR JOB!! FOLLOW UP ON IT!!

** FYI - by "your job" I don't mean as in Job Description.  I'm referring to the actual project for which the information is necessary **

Pissed Off

I'm so pissed at K's school it's not even funny.  K got a detention for the incident with Chloe while Chloe got off scott free.  It takes two to have a fight and K didn't fight with herself.  Chloe instigated the issue by calling K names and having others call her names as well.  K and everyone else at her table at lunch had food thrown at them for Christs sake!  K had enough and basically told Chloe to shove it.  Granted, K's method of telling Chloe where to shove it wasn't a smart choice, but it wasn't out of the blue.  I informed the Assistant Principle and the Principle of this when I had the meeting with them but they acted as though I was a tattletale.  I walked out of that meeting feeling as though K will never get a fair shot at that school for the rest of the year no matter what she does.  I also believe Chloe's mother needs to let her daughter fight her own fights once in a while.

This past Friday I got a voicemail message from K's math teacher informing me that K is missing 6 assignments and needs to attend HIP all this week.  HIP's an afterschool homework program.  Optional for kids unless they miss 5 or more assignments in one class - then it's mandatory.  The voicemail itself wasn't what irritated me, but the teachers tone did.  What she said was something like "As I'm sure you're aware, K is missing 5 assignments in math and 1 in science..."  I looked at my phone after getting that voicemail and actually talked back to the voicemail:  "No, I'm not aware she's got missing assignments, because the website that's supposed to update me on these issues isn't updated on a regular basis!"  I have a child who doesn't like school.  Who will do anything and everything to get out of doing schoolwork.  This is a child who has an IEP (Individual Education Plan).  If I ask her what homework she has the answer is always "Nothing".  If I ask to see her assignment notebook she's left it at school.  I can threaten, yell, scream, cry - nothing will break through her wall of "I'm not doing anything I don't wanna do".    I'm irritated that her teachers have allowed a child, who has special needs, to get so far behind in her school work before telling me and they're going to hear about it at our Parent/Teacher Conference on the 22nd.

I don't expect her teachers to raise her, but as a whole they are with her for 6 1/2 hours a day during the week.  I'm with her for 3 at the most.  I expect them to tell me when she's missing homework.  I got a call from her English teacher last week and he was practically yelling at me because K didn't turn in two questions in regards to a project he'd assigned her 2 weeks ago.  I didn't even know there was a project!!  Nothing was on the website that's never updated and of course K never told me about it.  I asked him as much and he said that he'd sent home a paper outlining the project and with the dates that specific things were due.  I told him I never saw it.  He told me that I was to have signed and returned the last page indicating that I read it.  I again informed him I never saw it.  He put me on hold.  He came back and said he never got the paper back.  *Insert me smacking my palm to my forehead*  "Don't you think that maybe you should have caught onto that... Ummm, I don't know - TWO WEEKS AGO and maybe called me then?!"  Examples such as that are what are irritating the living crap out of me. 

When Does It End? How Does It Begin?

When does "girl drama" cease to be "girl drama" and become bullying?  K has/had a friend, Chloe, who is unlike any other friend K has had.  I'm in no way putting my child down, but Chloe is one of the "popular" girls.  She's a model, her family has money, she has lots of beautiful and stylish clothes, her hair is always done perfectly and is pretty...  You know what I mean.  K has not yet figured out clothes.  She's not yet mastered make up.  She has only this year realized that she NEEDS to take a shower every day.  Don't get me wrong; my daughter is not dirty, she's just not up to speed on "girl things" yet. 

Since K met Chloe last year they have had an on again and off again friendship.  One day they're friends and the next they're not.  This past Friday K told me in the morning that Chloe's mom was going to pick her up for school.  K texted Chloe to see what time, never got a response so she got on the bus.  I received a phone call from K's social worker at school that there was in incident involving K and several other girls.  Long story short - Chloe and K got into a fight, Chloe shared personal things about K with other girls, and being teen girls they were catty and nasty to K causing an issue.

I spoke with K about this Friday, we've set up outside counseling (This isn't the first time K's had issues with girls.  It's a long scenario going back to 1st grade.  She doesn't relate to girls her own age and can't handle criticism in any manner.  It always ends up in arguments and fights.) and I thought all was settled.  I told K to stay away from Chloe and her group of girls, and in general to act as though they're not there.  Apparently not.  I got a call from the Assistant Principle in K's school to set up a meeting with herself and the Principle tomorrow to discuss an incident that occurred today.

Apparently K and Chloe got into it in the locker room at school, K followed Chloe to her locker, got in her face, and threatened her.  Chloe claims K slapped her, but no one can verify it.  Of course K denied it to the Assistant Principle, but really?  Who knows?  I can see her doing it.  That's so bad, isn't it?  I haven't even heard any of this from K's mouth, but I already believe what the Assistant Principle is saying is the truth.  I now have to go to K's school tomorrow for a meeting with the Assistant Principle & Principle because Chloe no longer feels safe in the hallways or the lunchroom at school.  Chloe's Mother is pissed, and I don't blame her.

I just got off the phone with K and of course she denies 90% of the story I got from the Assistant Principle.  According to K she never threatened Chloe and she never got in Chloe's face.  K says that Chloe shoved her in the locker room so K shoved her back, she claims that someone in the hallway pushed her into Chloe at the locker.  "Now I'm getting in trouble!  Of course it's my fault!  No one ever believes me!  Fine!  Take Chloe's side!  Everyone else is!!!"  I don't know what to do with this child.  She absolutely REFUSES to take responsibility for her actions.  She REFUSES to see that her bad attitude is the root of the majority of her problems.  It's always someone elses fault or someone else caused her to do whatever.  I'm mean to her because I blame EVERYTHING on her.

She's only 13 years old!  How the hell is she going to make it through these years to become an adult?  And if she does make it to adulthood - Who will she become?!