Bill Murray

I read this Funny or Die article today (are they called Articles on that site? http://FunnyOrDie.com/m/7aat) in which they focus on Bill Murray and his supposed  "no one will ever believe you" tag line.  The article says that his tag line is urban legend, but I have to say - it's not.

My little brother, Mark, was part of the wait staff for a private party at the restaurant he worked at about 3 years ago.  Mark lives in Chicago and doesn't own a car therefore he utilizes the public transportation.  He said he was on the subway and it was late at night (or early in the morning depending on your definition), about 1:30 am or 2 am.  Mark said he got on the train, sat down, and realized there was one other person on the train - an older gentleman reading a newspaper.  Mark glanced at the man and thought he looked familiar, but couldn't place him.  He said that the man looked so familiar that it was bugging him that he couldn't figure out who this guy was, so he kept trying to sneak glances at this guy.  Mark didn't want this man to think he was staring at him, but couldn't help himself.  After a few stops in which no one else got on the train the man stood up and went to stand by the door.  Mark was still stealing glances at this man trying in vain to figure out why he looked so familiar.  As the train slowed down Mark said it suddenly dawned on him - the man was Bill Murray.  (You'd have to understand Mark's insane crazy love for Bill Murray to understand what a monumental moment this was for him.) Mark said the train stopped, the doors opened and as he was getting ready to say something to his idol, Bill Murray turned to him, put his hands to his face like you do for antlers or a "na-na, na-na, boo-boo" and said "No one's gonna believe you!"  And with that he stepped off the train and the doors closed.

To this day I think that was Mark's greatest and worst moment all rolled into one.  He "met" his idol but, to hear Mark tell it, he sat there like a window licker staring at him instead of saying something.  However when Mark told me this story the first time I believed him but there were others with us that didn't believe him.  I believed him because Mark isn't one to make up stories.  The comment I remember most from a non-believer was why would Bill Murray be utilizing public transportation in a big city at 2 am.  Obviously this person didn't know that Bill Murray was born and raised in Wilmette (Northern suburb of Chicago).  He went to school briefly at Loyola University and worked at the famous Second City in Chicago.  Therefore he should be completely comfortable using the subway.

I guess it's too bad that Mark didn't have his camera with him that night!

Breastfeeding

As I sit in the bathroom at work hooked up to a machine that makes me feel badly for dairy cows in a way I never thought possible, I feel I have to pat myself on the back for getting this far.

I never made it this far with either of the girls. I breastfeed Lianna for maybe 6 weeks and Kiley for only about 2 or 3. Maybe it was the fact that I was 18 and 20 with them, but regardless the whole breastfeeding thing didn't stick with me at that time.

The fact that I'm still nursing Xander and I'm pumping at work amazes me. I'm hoping that I can keep it up. It has only been 2 1/2 months...

Remember Me?!

It's been a LOOOOOOONG time since I've updated my blog.

I've had a good reason.  I promise I did!

This little Love Bug is Xander.  He was born on September 19, 2012 at 12:49 pm.  He's such a good baby!!  So chill (unless he's hungry - then he could wake the dead) and so easy going...

I was only able to stay home with him for 6 1/2 weeks.  That sucked hardcore.  I'm lucky that my girlfriend is watching him though and I didn't have to put him in a daycare situation.  She loves on him like he's her own and for that I'm extremely grateful.

His due date was the 21st but I talked my OB into inducing me early.  By week 38 I was SO over being pregnant.  I couldn't breathe because I had a foot, or a heal, or an elbow in my ribs.  I couldn't sleep because I couldn't get comfortable.  I couldn't eat because I would get heartburn just looking at food.  All in all I was miserable.  At this time I had already begun to dilate and all that junk.  My OB said that if I could get to week 39 they'd discuss inducing.

My next appointment was Tuesday the 18th.  I had made it to week 39, I was still miserable, and I had dilated even more (nearly 4 cm.  FYI - 10 cm is fully dilated and ready to push) and my OB said that she'd set up the induction for the next morning, BUT that she'd be very surprised if I didn't go into labor on my own that night. 

I didn't go into labor on my own, we went to the hospital the next morning, I got hooked up to IV fluids, I got the Pitocin to start labor, got my epidural, Dr broke my water and 40 minutes after that Xander was born.  

With the exception of maybe the last 30 minutes of my labor it was so damn easy I'm surprised as HELL.  It helps that I was nearly half way there by the time I got to the hospital.  For the last month I was having Braxton Hicks contractions which got stronger and stronger every day but never got to the point where I was "uncomfortable" or couldn't talk through them.  They say that you can't talk through true labor contractions.  I call bullshit on that.  My Dr. told me at the last appointment that I was having true contractions but they just weren't consistent enough to bring on active labor.

The last 30 minutes of my labor I honestly thought something had gone wrong with my insides.  With every contraction it felt like a 16 lb bowling ball was trying to push out of my ass at the base of my tailbone.  The Epidural, which made everything below my chest completely numb, decided to bypass my butt.  That was the only location of my lower body that I could feel.  So of course that's where all the labor pressure was located.

But he's here and he's perfect in every way.  I love that kid so much it's crazy.  The girls have adjusted pretty well to him.  He's been a great birth control device for Lianna.  She doesn't even want kids now!  She loves Xander but if he's crabby or fussy she wants nothing to do with him.  Kiley on the other hand... She can't keep her hands off him.  If she could breastfeed him I think she would.  She's been a big help though.  When I'm stressed because he's fussy and won't calm down she takes him and he goes right to sleep.  When I need to get something done (laundry, dishes, BATHROOM!) she'll amuse him until I get finished.  She's really been good.

The dogs on the other hand - I'm about to put them up for sale.  We knew they were going to have some issues with the baby coming, and luckily they haven't had any negative acts towards Xander, but they've taken to destroying my kitchen when we're gone.  NO food can be left out.  Not even formula is safe.  Apparently neither are paper towels, plastic cups, zip lock bags, dish towels, or the tea pot that's kept on the stove all the time.  If anything is left out they tear it up.  I can't seem to get them to stop and I'm getting tired of cleaning up their messes.  I've tried gating off the kitchen - they jump the counter.  Well, one does anyway.  The other one's too fat to jump the counter.  

Mindless Baby Rumblings...

There's not much going on at home right now.  The girls are starting school again on Wednesday.  Can I get a Woot Woot?!  I am SO excited for them to go back to school.  I've been waiting for this day all summer!! No more stupid calls at work to tattle on each other.  No more dumb text messages 18,000 times a day.  I'll know exactly where they are for the majority of the day, and not have to hear them complain about this or that.  

Can you tell I'm excited?!

I'm also starting to really freak out now.  My son will be here in less than a month and a half.  He'll be an actual physical presence in my home in roughly 5 weeks.  I cannot believe how quickly this has gone.  Back in January this day seemed soooooooo far away.  September?!  It wasn't even Spring or Summer yet, let alone the beginning of Fall!  Now it's here.  Well... Almost.  

I have a list a mile long of stuff I still need.  I have my 3rd and final Baby Shower tomorrow, and several gift cards from the previous two showers.  I'll wait until next week and re-evaluate what I still "need" vs what I still "want" and go from there, I guess.  I have his dresser pretty much organized.  M has to fix one of the drawers - the track that it slides in and out on broke - and once that's fixed I can finish putting some of his blankets and sleepers in there.  Everything has been washed and folded.  Older clothing has been washed, folded, boxed and labeled.  His crib and changing table are up - I still have to organize them as they're currently holding random toys and such.

M is freaking out over one small, minor detail.  The fact that we don't have many diapers in the house.  Of all the things to freak about that's what he's focused on!  Here's my issue:  The newborn diapers, which are the ones M keeps wanting me to buy in bulk, really only fit a newborn for a short amount of time.  Unless you have a tiny baby or a preemie that is.  I have one package of newborn diapers and the newborn diapers from the "diaper cake" that someone made for one of the showers.  All in all it probably amounts to two packages of newborn diapers.  I hesitate to buy more than that ESPECIALLY since at my last OB appointment this past Monday, in which I was barely 34 weeks, I was measuring at 37 weeks.  

This could mean one of two things:  Either my son will be a big baby or I have a lot of amniotic fluid.  My OB said if I'm still measuring large at my next appointment - which will be the 28th - they'll do an ultrasound to see why.  If he's a big baby - he may not use all the newborn diapers we currently have.  I've tried to explain this to M but I think he just needs diapers in the house to make him feel better.  

This about sums up my entire life at the moment.  Trying to get everything organized and ready for my son to make his grand entrance, keeping my husband calm about diapers, keeping the teens alive long enough to start school...

I think I need a vacation.

That Chicken Restaurant

Again, a post that I feel I have to write or my entire being will explode.  

The Chic-Fil-A Debate

I am so incredibly angry over this issue it's ridiculous.  Do not get me wrong - I do not dispute anyone's right to believe what they want to believe.  To live how they want to live.  To be who they want to be.  

But God Dammit - it goes both fucking ways.  I don't bother you or degrade you for believing in Jesus and the Bible.  Don't you dare fucking tell me that because I don't believe in what you believe in I should be punished.

My issue with Dan Cathy is not that he's a Christian.  My issue is that Chic-Fil-A openly supports organizations that are actively working to take away basic human rights of people simply because of who they are.  No one, NO ONE, should have the right or the authority to do that.  

Did we learn nothing from Slavery?

Did we learn nothing from the Civil Rights Movement?

Did you know that The Family Research Council and the Marriage & Family Foundation are two organizations that Chic-Fil-A has donated millions of dollars to?  Did you know that The Family Research Council believes that same gender loving behavior should be criminalized in this country? 

These reasons, plus many more, are why I will never frequent a Chic-Fil-A.  The money I spend there would help to contribute to the mission to deny my brother his basic human rights, and that will NEVER be okay.

I think Chris Rock said it best:

What Does He Not Understand About The Sentence - You're Not Giving My Kid A Vehicle For Free?

I have been having a hard time getting Lianna to understand that vehicle ownership is more than just putting $5 of gas in the car every few days.  My father has compounded this issue by giving her unhindered access to his truck, and thinking that he's going to get this by me by putting the term "on loan" on it.

My father has been talking about getting a new vehicle for quite some time now.  He indicated to me, in front of Li who at the time had her Learners Permit, that he'd like to "sell" the truck to her for $1 because he'd like to be able to use it from time to time for hauling.  Hauling what exactly, I don't know.  I informed him at the time that this was not going to happen because he'd essentially be giving her a car.  I don't agree with handing 16 year old's a car.  It doesn't teach them responsibility.  It teaches them that expensive items get handed to them whenever they want them.

I never had a car handed to me until I was in my 20's, married with two kids, and in desperate need of a second vehicle.  My mother generously gave me her Eagle Premier - which promptly broke down for good about 3 months later.  Even so, I appreciated the gesture.  She didn't have to give me her car but she knew I needed it badly.

Li doesn't seem to understand that vehicles run on more than just gas.  They have to have oil changes, tire rotations and changes, and regular maintenance.  Not to mention that the older a car the more issues you'll begin to have such as alternators, starters, sensors, ball joints, transmissions, etc.  Those things don't fix themselves and they cost money to be fixed.  She gets all bent out of shape when she wants to use my car and I tell her that she has to put $5 of gas in it.  

"But I just put $5 in three days ago!!!" She'll complain.  Never mind that she's used the car every day since then and not only is that $5 of gas long gone, so is a good portion of the rest of the gas.

Now I wake up this morning and my father's truck is in my driveway.  He's "loaned" it to Li for an indefinite amount of time so that she can get from place to place without having to rely on others for rides or cars.  I told Li not to get attached to the truck because she's not going to be keeping it for long.  My father just called me and insisted that she's doing him a favor by using the truck because then it's not sitting at the end of his driveway.  I wanted to scream at him "IF YOU DIDN'T WANT IT SITTING AT THE END OF THE DRIVEWAY THEN YOU SHOULD HAVE TRADED IT IN!!"

He suggested that we sit down over dinner soon with my mother and we can come to an agreement.  Apparently he thinks that he'll get his way.  I let him know that I'm not changing my position on this.  He is NOT giving her unhindered access to the truck whenever she wants it simply because he don't want it sitting in his driveway.  

End of discussion.

Follow Up to the Young'uns

I know this doesn't interest practically anybody, but I feel it has to be mentioned.  

Ricky Schroeder just doesn't get it.  He may know the owner, but while he's here during work hours - he's just a shop hand.

He will not be here on Friday of this week apparently.  He told Justin that he's going to have a buddy of his come in and cover for him.  Justin told him no.  Ricky didn't like that answer so he said that he'd just go talk to Mike about it.  

He doesn't understand.  You can't just have random people coming into the shop all willy nilly simply because you're not going to be here for your shift.  The liability aspect of that is mind boggling.  When you're hired in at a company you are hired at the company.  Not you and whomever you want to bring along.

Justin knew Mike was out of the office so he sent Mike a quick text message letting him know about the conversation he'd had with Ricky.  I don't know if Mike ever replied to Justin, if Ricky ever spoke to Mike like he said he was going to, or if Mike nipped it in the bud right off, but this kid and his sense of entitlement is getting out of control.

Between throwing around Mike's name every time he doesn't get what he wants, taking hour long lunches when everyone else in the shop is taking a 30 minute lunch, to hanging out in Mike's office to chat with his girlfriend while Mike's gone to lunch - This kid's getting too big for his britches.  

I think he needs to be taken down a peg.

Or eight.

Little Miss Can't-Be-Wrong

In my house we call her Lianna.

I don't know about you, but it drives me insane when I get a text message from my children asking me to pick up something on the way home from work that I shouldn't have to pick up at all.  

For example: Feminine Products.

Li sent me a text message about 45 minutes ago asking me to pick up tampons on my way home from work.  For starters I always keep a spare box/package of feminine products in our upstairs linen closet.  For no other reason than there's nothing worse than needing a tampon or pad and realizing that you are COMPLETELY out of them.  

I have a very simple rules in regards to my grocery list:

If you want me to buy something - put it on the list.

If you use the last of something - put it on the list.

If you take the last package/box of feminine products from the hall closet - FOR GODS SAKE PUT THAT SHIT ON THE LIST!

She sent me the text asking me to pick up tampons and the following text conversation took place:

Me - Since there's been nothing put on the list I would check the closet upstairs.  There should be an extra box there.

Li - There, isn't I Already checked

Me - Well... You may have to survive on pads then.  I don't have cash today, I don't have a debit/credit card today and no one (Read: you) put them on the list when they (Read: you) took the last box out.

Li - ...Have you forgotten that kiley has a period too so people (ready: you) shouldn't be so quick to point fingers

Me - Ki doesn't use tampons.  So it's not pointing fingers.  It's a matter of deduction.  I'm obviously not using them, she doesn't use them, (M) would't touch them with a 10 foot pole, so who does that leave?  Read: You.

Li - yes well she shaved her legs before she was allowed to so no you really dont know. Btw I wasnt planning on being rude but its hard not to when you talk to me like im an idiot

I can't even begin to respond to this latest text message unless I want my head to explode. 

Photo Source:http://maothebrok.deviantart.com/art/Exploding-head-164213962

For clarification, This is a child who NEVER remembers to put a damn thing on that list.  Ever.  So when I get these messages from her it drives me bonkers.  I was not talking to her like she was an idiot, I was simply trying to get across that there are no more tampons because she didn't put them on the list - again.

This last text message is also the reason why she can't use my car tonight after work. 

Photo Source: http://www.dietl-weiden.de/Wallpaper/wallpaper.htm

And because I'm a pregnant bitch.

Young'uns...

It's an odd time right now for our shop here at work.  We actually have more work than we can handle at the moment, and we've got 7 full time guys and one part time guy.  This is how it used to be in our shop when I first started here in 2007, but since 2009 we've never really had more than 3 full time guys back there.  Up until about 3 or 4 months ago it was just Justin in the shop, and had been that way for a while.

We've got the part time guy who is the owners' son.  He's a nice kid but he's not a shop guy.  Not by a long shot and it makes me wonder why he's here.  


We've got two guys from a temporary agency - one really knows his way around the shop and didn't take long to acclimate.  The other seems to be doing alright; I haven't heard any complaints about him.


Then we've got the others, one of which has worked here off and on when not in school and he's a pretty decent guy, another who was hired from the temp agency and seems to have been a good fit as well, and one who if he calls in with some BS excuse again will get the boot.  Then we've a kid who Justin calls Ricky Schroder.  (Apparently he's a trust fund kid who's passing away his summer before he heads to college in the fall.)

You 'member Silver Spoons, right?!

Photo Source: http://www.bullz-eye.com/movies/interviews/2010/ricky_schroder.htm

This kid is the bosses daughter's boyfriend.  As such he think's he has an upper hand in the dynamics of the shop.  This is where he couldn't be more wrong.  He's learning the hard way that you never ever complain about your foreman.  Ever.  (Obviously there's exceptions to this rule.  Such as if your foreman is telling you to do something deadly or illegal, etc.)

Justin was giving him shit about behaving himself with the bosses daughter or Mike'll kill him (Mike is one of my bosses and a 3rd degree black belt.)  It was just typical Justin shop shit.  Showing that he's top dog back there.  Apparently "Ricky" went to Mike to complain about this line of "questioning" and saying that it makes him uncomfortable.  So of course Mike had to talk to Justin.

Ricky now has a target on his back.  Every crap job that comes into the shop, whether it's cleaning or moving stuff or organizing something, "Ricky" will have to do it.  Justin's already started.  We have a new PM starting next week so we've been taking advantage of the fact that Craig's off this week and we're gutting the office that he'll share with the new PM.  Craig holds onto way too much shit that doesn't need to be held onto.  Since we've been boxing up stuff to put in storage - guess who gets to spend his days up in the storage areas out in the shop?  Ricky.

And it's damn hot here this week.  It's supposed to feel like 107 today and even hotter the rest of the week.  There's no AC in the shop and the kid'll be up near the top of the roof moving boxes around, bringing more boxes up there, throwing other shit out...  He's not going to have a good week.

That's what you get when you think you're entitled.  He may "know" the owner, but that doesn't mean he's untouchable in the shop.

My brother's fiance has kicked herself into high gear.  Their wedding is 4 weeks away.  I'm giving her some leeway because, while I've never planned a "traditional" wedding, I can imagine that she's a little overwhelmed with the details now.  

Lianna's is in the Pool color that the other bridesmaids dresses are, and Kiley's is a black dress with, I believe, a pool colored flower on it somewhere.

www.davidsbridal.com 

I think this is Li's dress but even if it's not it definitely is the right color.  Ki's will be a different dress but I'm not sure what one they ended up agreeing on.

Sarah's being a little confusing as to the shoes she wants them to wear.  First she said no heel higher than 2 1/2 inches.  Then she said whatever size heel they want.  (I think that was before she realized that my 14 year old could practically run in my 4" heels.)  Then she was back to 2" heels for Li and flats for Ki.  This didn't go over very well with Ki because she knows Li looks like a giraffe with two broken legs in any heel higher than 1".  And Ki doesn't want to wear "baby flats".

The other day Li bought two pairs of wedges from Target.  I had told her that if she insists on wearing heels in the wedding they really need to be wedges so that when she walks she at least has some grace.  One of the wedges was 2 1/2" one was 3".  While the shoe color was black, as requested by Sarah, the wedge itself was cork.

www.target.com

These aren't the shoes that Li picked out but they're a good enough example of the black shoe with the cork wedge.  In my opinion, and let's face it - I'm SOOO out of fashion according to my kids, for a wedding that you're going to be walking in, in a formal dress, the cork makes these shoes too casual for the occasion.  There are plenty of shoes that have the black wedge that matches the black of the shoe.  

Li really likes the shoes she's picked (her friend and I convinced her that the smaller wedge was a nicer looking shoe) and doesn't want to exchange them.  I figured - Sarah's wedding, let Sarah decide.  I sent her an actual picture of the shoe via text with the question "Too casual for a formal wedding?  Your call..."  Her response was that would be fine.  Anything else would be to mature for Li.  

Um... Really?  You're talking about a 17 year old girl.  NOTHING, in her mind, is too mature.

Sarah had called me to give her approval of Li's shoes and during this conversation I found out that my girls aren't really a part of the Bridal Party but they're more of... I don't know.  An accessory to the bridal party, maybe?  I don't know how to explain it other than they won't be walking down the isle with a groomsman but will walk down the isle together.  At the reception, while there will be no assigned seating there will be three separate tables dedicated to the Bridal Party: One for Eric and Sarah.  One for 2 of the Bridesmaids and their dates, and 2 of the Groomsmen and their dates.  And another one for the other 2 Bridesmaids/dates and 2 Groomsmen/dates.  

Sarah and Eric forgot about Lianna and Kiley.  Then justified it to themselves that the girls wouldn't want to sit there anyway so it was no big deal.  I'm not even sure that the girls are aware yet that they aren't included in these reserved seating spaces.  They may not even want to sit there.  I don't know.

The second thing Sarah mentioned to me was that the girls will want to bring a pair of black flip flops to change into at the reception so their feet don't hurt.  (She obviously doesn't know my girls.  Li can wear the most uncomfortable shoe all day long, and will wear it all day long, if it looks nice.  Such a girl.  Ki - well, see my mention of her ability to run in my 4" heels earlier in this post and you'll agree that wearing a low heel all night won't be an issue for her.)  Sarah told me "I bought a pair for all of my bridesmaids as part of their gift bag.  I forgot about the girls though so I don't even have a gift bag for them."  Apparently these are gift bags that she's giving to all the Bridesmaids at the Reception Dinner.  So, in my mind, my kids will be sitting there anticipating a bag and not getting one.

I guess I just don't know how you can ask someone to be in your wedding, go so far as to get them into dresses that match everyone else's in the wedding party, but then basically ignore them for everything else.

Is this just me being irrational and letting my issues trickle over onto my kids or do I have a legitimate reason to feel as if my kids are going to be feeling left out?  How do I handle this?  If it's not me being stupid, or hormonal, should I say something to Sarah or just let it slide and deal with hurt feelings if there are any?