Lianna & Kiley

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

K's Update

** This is a L-O-N-G post, but I need to get it out. You've been warned. **


K has been seeing a Psychologist once a week since the beginning of this year.  I've seen differences in her since the therapy has started, but we still have a LOT of issues to work out.  Last month, Jessica  indicated to me that she thought K showed very basic symptoms of ADHD, and that K confirmed for Jessica that she can't sit still in class, she's very fidgety, she gets in trouble at school a lot, etc.  Jessica asked that we make an appointment with one of their Psychiatrists, Dr. Scott, to have K tested for ADHD.

This is where I start to say to myself "Yeah, right.  This kid is playing you like a violin."  That's the thing with K.  She is very crafty when she wants to be.  If K's answer to a question is A but she thinks you want to hear B then B becomes her answer.  I think Jessica asked her questions and K gave her the answer she thought Jessica wanted to hear.  Regardless I went ahead and made the appointment which we went to yesterday.  K had to have some blood-work done prior to the appointment to rule out any medical things that could cause her problems.  After talking to K for a few minutes, while leading K into the answers I thought, the Psychiatrist decided that she did show symptoms of typical ADHD and prescribed both a nighttime antidepressant (which will help with her sleeping) and a daytime medication to help with her ADHD.  (There was a lot more things than just a 5 minute conversation that happened at this appointment, but this was the basis of the diagnosis.)

I'm torn.  On the one hand I think K is giving them the answers she thinks they want to hear because taking medication is a way of getting attention in her eyes.  I also think the way they were wording their questions was giving K and indication of how the answer would be if she were ADHD.  For example, the Psychiatrist asked her "How do your thoughts go around in your head?  Do your thoughts jump from one thing to another, are they all over the place, do your thoughts confuse you?"  To me, that's like saying "if you really are ADHD this is how your thoughts are in your head" and therefore leading K into the answers.

On the other hand, I've thought that K was beyond just being your average hyper kid for YEARS, but every time her school would do the Connors Test on her (a test schools use to determine ADD/ADHD.  The first step in getting a diagnosis through a pediatrician) she'd pass with flying colors which would mean her pediatrician would basically laugh at me when I'd come in with these results.  Like "what the hell is wrong with you, Lady?  You just wanna drug up your kid."

Depression runs in my family on my dad's side.  His mother was Bipolar, my aunt is, my dad has suffered from depression, and so have I.  ADD/ADHD runs in my family on my mom's side.  My uncle was diagnosed with something like ADHD - probably not ADHD as we know it today seeing as it was 1950/60 something, but I do know he was put on medication that turned him into a zombie until my grandmother refused to give it to him anymore, and I have three cousins all with varying levels of ADD/ADHD.  I know depression can be inherited like alcoholism or addiction, but can ADD/ADHD be inherited?

My mother asked me if any of SFB's (Shit For Brains = Ex-husband and DNA Supplier) family has ADD/ADHD.  That question with those people is about as good as... I don't know what but it's useless because they're the BIGGEST group of hypochondriac's I've even had the displeasure of knowing.  Let me tell you!  If there's a rare disease or illness I guarantee someone in that family has had it or currently suffers from it.  They're a bunch of brainless idiots.  They've been telling L that she's got ADD simply because she jiggles her knee up and down when she's bored and fidgeting.  Duh... Her dad does the same thing.  It's not an indication of ADD, Morons.  Get a clue.

I picked up K's medication today that Dr. Scott prescribed for her last night.  We'll start giving it to her tonight.  She's got two prescriptions - one is for nighttime because she's got a lot of trouble falling asleep.  She's like me that way.  If I'm not DEAD tired I will lay awake all night long.  That's why I have the Ambien.  This medication is also a anti-depressant so we'll see how that works out.  The other is for the ADHD and should help her focus and filter.  We'll see how well it works.  I have to watch out for her though.  Dr. Scott said that this medication is similar to the Ritalin they used to prescribe in that it can amplify her moods instead of focusing her.  If she's angry she could be angrier than normal, if she's hyper she could become more hyper than normal...  I let her social worker at school know so that if there's an issue at school she is in the loop.  Also because I need the teachers to fill out a questionnaire and fax it back to Dr. Scott.

The questionnaire is where I place my trust honestly.  If K is faking anything, she won't be able to fake it for 2-3 weeks.  The questionnaire will be filled out by her teachers this week and then again in 2-3.  It asks the teachers to rate things like

  • Restless in the 'squirmy' sense
  • Acts 'smart' (impudent or sassy)
  • Disturbs other children
  • Mood changes quickly and drastically
  • Excessive demands for teacher's attention
  • No sense of fair play
  • Denies mistakes or blames others
  • Easily frustrated in efforts
They then have to rate them on a scale of 1 to 5.  K won't be able to fake that stuff for too long.

I guess this is enough ranting for one day.  If you've made it this far - pat yourself on the back.  (Or get a hobby!)   That was a lot of babble to go through, but I just needed to vent...

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Deployment and Easter Plans

I have a cousin who joined the Army after high school graduation last year.  He completed his basic training in... Georgia, I think, and his first station was in Alaska.  That worked out good for him because being stationed in Alaska is considered overseas so he received oversea pay.  As an 18 year old kid who has never had a "real" job that was money in the bank for him as far as he's been concerned!  Ever since he graduated basic he's been talking about how badly he wants to go to Afghanistan.  To the normal person this would seem a little odd; WANTING to go to Afghanistan, but if you knew Brian you'd realize that is a very typical Brian.  Well he gets his wish tomorrow.  He deploys tomorrow for what I believe is a year assignment.  I could be wrong but I know I will hear about it all on Sunday at my parent's house.  His mother will be there for Easter.  I just hope he stays safe and comes home on his own.

I can't believe it's already Easter.  Is it me or did the last year go by fast?  Easter always sort of signifies the beginning of Summer to me.  Don't ask.  I know it doesn't make sense!  Easter also means that it's L's birthday next.  This will be a big one for her.  Her Super Sweet 16!  Ok.  So it's not SUPER but it will be her 16th birthday.  I have to do something for her.  I'm not a birthday party throwing kind of Mom.  While the girls were in grade school we lived in an apartment, which didn't leave any room to host a party.  Once we moved into our first rental house they no longer wanted to have a "party".  They were happy enough to have a couple friends over for pizza, cake and to hang out.  I just want to do something different for her this year.  It's her 16th birthday for cripes sake!  She should have something fun for this one.



I really don't know what to do for her.  I was thinking that I'd take her and a couple girlfriends out to lunch and then a movie.  Not McDonald's either, but somewhere like Olive Garden.  Or maybe Chinese - she LOVES Chinese food.  Someone suggested I take her and a friend to get mani/pedi's but that's my mom's thing to do with the girls for their birthday.  What the heck would a 16 year old want for her birthday?  Besides a car that is.  She's not getting that! I'm trying desperately to remember when I was 16... It's not working so well.  I'm only 34 but it seems like 16 was forever ago.  

Hmmm... I wonder if she'd be receptive to going downtown for her birthday.  Her birthday is May 23rd and falls on a Monday this year.  Maybe she'd want to go downtown on Sunday.  We could go to the top of the Sears Tower.  Sorry, Willis Tower.  (Stupid iconic Chicago locations changing names and owners...  First Fields and now Sears.  What's next? Lake Michigan?  Soldier Field?  Gasp!!  Wrigley?!)  I could watch her wet herself while standing on the glass overhang!!  I've been to the top of the Sears Tower (Sorry, but it'll never be Willis Tower to me.  Just like Macy's will forever be Fields.  At least until they remove the clock on the corner.  Then maybe I'll concede defeat.  Maybe.) but I haven't been since they installed a glass bottom overhang.  My little brother, Mark, lives in the City.  Maybe I'll talk to him to see if he could meet us somewhere for lunch.  I think this is shaping up to be what we'll do!  I'm getting excited now!!  Lets just hope that she'll be as excited when I lay it out for her!

My credit link didn't link properly... http://momza.blogspot.com

Friday, April 1, 2011

He's Lost His Damn Mind

It's no secret that I dislike my brother's fiancĂ©e.  It's hard to like someone who has done everything, been everywhere and is FANTASTIC at it all.  That sums up my future sister-in-law to the letter.  No matter where you've been or where you're going - she's been there.  No matter what you've done or what you're planning on doing - she's already done it.  And wouldn't you know - she's done it better than you could ever hope so don't even try.  I was less than thrilled when I found out that my brother was planning on proposing to her.  My only consolation is that I'm not the only one in the family who feels this way.

The one thing I will say for her is that she really is a good photographer.  Personally I think that should be her profession rather than an English teacher, but whatever.  I tried unsuccessfully to avoid her on Facebook, but that didn't last long.  Even after I "accidentally" deleted her as a friend it only lasted a couple weeks and she found me again.  I was looking through her photos, specifically looking at an album that kinda creeps me out (as it does for an Aunt and a cousin), I came across some photos she took of my kids.  They're black and white photos (which I have a thing for - LOVE me some black and white landscape...) and they're really good pictures of my kids.  I showed them to the girls and they both agreed that they were good.  K specifically asked if she could have a copy.  I'm not about to ask the future SIL for a copy since they're up on Facebook for the world to see.  I copied to my computer from Facebook and printed them off on my printer.  K has them on her wall in her room.  My mother saw them, commented on them, found out they were SIL's, and said something to her about how nice they are.  Well if the shit didn't hit the fan.  

According to SIL I'm infringing on her copyrights. There is no copyright on the photos.  I didn't print and sell the pictures.  They're photos of MY daughter hanging on HER wall in HER bedroom.  Does SIL not realize that any Tom, Dick or Harry can pull her photos off Facebook and use without her permission?  Especially since her site isn't private and anyone can see her photos?  My brother called me a couple nights after my mom said something to SIL and he demanded that I apologize to SIL for "stealing" her photos.  I'll be damned if I'm apologizing to her.  

Several years ago my brother and SIL had K over to their house for a week in the summer.  K was responsible for packing her own clothes.  I made the mistake of not checking her bag and she had packed herself clothes that were supposed to be "outside, playing in the dirt" clothes and not the clothes she should have taken to someone else's house.  My mistake on not checking.  Instead of SIL ever saying anything to me, or my brother saying anything to me, the following week when L stayed with them the SIL made several comments to L about K's dirty clothes.  In not so many words she told L that I'm a bad mom and that K is a dirty kid.  She commented to L that her kids will NEVER have to do their own laundry, NEVER leave the house with a stain on their shirt/pants/socks, NEVER have a dirty face.  L was miserable after a week of listening to SIL make these kinds of comments, and I called SIL out on it.  You have a problem with me, then you bring it up with me and NOT with my children.  However I never received an apology from her about these comments.  L never received an apology for having to listen to these comments.

When my brother demanded that I apologize to SIL I told him that I was not in High School and he couldn't force me to apologize to someone no matter what the situation.  I told him that I didn't "infringe on her copyright" as the photos aren't copyrighted (is that even a word?) nor did I distribute them for monetary gain.  I also told him that I never received an apology for being called a bad mom, L didn't get an apology for having to listen to her derogatory comments, K didn't get an apology for having comments made about her, and I would never apologize to her.  For anything.  Ever.

SIL deleted me from her friends on Facebook.  I think I'll go cry in a corner now.  Yea, that didn't convince me either.