Worst Mother in the WORLD!

Ki has not been behaving well for the last few months.  Ever since we took away her cell phone indefinitely she has been a brat.  There’s no other way to explain it.  I wish I had cameras set up around my house so I could record how absolutely disrespectful she is.  The kicker is she’s not just disrespectful to me.  She’s rude to everyone. 

Of course after I tell her to stop talking to everyone like they’re beneath her and then acting like we treat her like shit when we call her on it, she runs upstairs to cry about how mean I am and how much I hurt her feelings.  The truth is – I’m honestly at a point where I don’t care anymore.  I don’t know how much more of this crap I can take.  She uses her diagnosis of ADHD as some sort of safety.  Like I’m supposed to be more lenient with her because of it.  Or when we discipline her for something, such as last night M told her she couldn’t go back outside because of something she didn’t do, she thinks that by saying she “didn’t understand” the rule that it somehow makes it ok for her to not do whatever it was. 

Of course, when she and I, or she and M, get into an argument it travels down to her and Li, but lately it doesn’t even need to be set off by us.  Even Li is done.  She’s always been the one to stick up for Ki..  She’s the one who will say to me “that may not have been the best idea because of …” I have a tendency to kind of develop blinders when it comes to Ki and her behavior/attitude.  I don’t always see the bigger picture because I’m so focused on whatever set me off to begin with, and both Li and M have to remind me sometimes.  Not anymore though.  Li has said she doesn’t want to be around Ki anymore. 

Ki walks into the house and immediately she’s got an attitude with everyone.  Then when we call her on the attitude we’re in the wrong because we’re “yelling” at her.  I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been accused of “yelling” at her.  Or because she’s going off on some long winded explanation of why we’re so mean to her and GOD FORBID I INTERRUPT HER!  Then the shit hits the fan.  Yet if I’m talking to her and she doesn’t like whatever I’m saying she will interrupt you in the blink of an eye.  And not stop talking even when you call her on the interruption.

However, I digress.  Back to why I’m the Worst Mother in The World.  Last night was no different than any other night but I finally told Ki that she is making our house unhappy.  In retrospect, I probably should have waited until this Wednesday when we have a session with her therapist, but I couldn’t take it anymore.  She was angry at me for not letting her go back outside after her chores were done so she was being just flat out RUDE to Li when Li couldn’t figure out how to explain a GPA to Ki in a way that Ki would understand.  Li was trying to but Ki decided that she was just going to yell at Li “FINE.  Don’t talk to me.  Be rude and disrespectful.  Everyone is so mean to me in this house.”  I told Ki that I’d had enough.  I was done listening to her talk to other people like they’re beneath her and then acting like we treat her like she’s shit when we don’t jump to do her bidding.

She ran upstairs crying about how mean I am and how much she hates living here, etc.  When she came back downstairs she wanted to talk.  Ie:  She wanted me to listen to her while she complained and didn’t want to hear anything that may contradict her.  Bottom line is I ended up telling her that I’m not negotiating with her anymore.  It’s my house and my rules because I’m the Mom.  I don’t have to explain my decisions to her and I don’t have to give her options.  If she doesn’t like my rules she’s free to call her dad to make arrangements to live with him.  I did tell her that I don’t want her to live somewhere else, but I’m no longer forcing her to live somewhere where she’s unhappy and contributing to making everyone else unhappy.  I did take responsibility for my part in the confrontations we have, but I’m not going to take 100 percent of the blame anymore.  (Don’t judge until you’ve walked in my shoes.)

Ki ended up calling my parents and she went over there last night to spend the night.  They’ve told me for years that if I ever need her to be removed from the situation to call them.  I think Ki was hoping that they’d say “Oh, you poor baby!  Come live with us and life will be castles and unicorns and candy!”  I also know this is not the case, and because my parents are leaving for their 40^th Anniversary Italy trip in less than 2 weeks they are not going to be letting Ki stay with them for long.

She’ll be back tonight and but I know nothing has changed…