I’m truly at a loss as to how a 13 year old kid can remember what it was that I said to her 3 months ago, yet she can’t remember to pick up her dirty laundry or make her bed before she leaves in the morning. This is especially frustrating to M because, as far as I’m concerned, has no memory of his childhood years at all. He insists he was perfect all the time; did whatever his Mother and Grandmother asked of him; was never mouthy or sulky as most Teens are. I have a feeling that if I ever asked his Mother about him and being a Teen she’d have many stories to tell.

Yet, I digress. I have tried everything to get it through K’s head that she has a few things that need to be done before she leaves for the day. Not only do these items not change from day to day, I also write her (and her sister) a note before I leave for work. It’s always on a full sheet of plain copy paper, and written in red Sharpie marker. It’s always placed on the kitchen table in a spot where you cannot miss it. Unless, of course, you’re trying to miss it. If that’s the case then I could staple it to their foreheads before I leave for work and they’d still claim they never saw it.

All they have to do before they leave for the day is:

• Make their bed
• Pick up their floor (dirty clothes, shoes, garbage, etc)
• If it’s their day for dishes they need to unload and/or load the dishwasher
• Check the note for anything else I’ve left them to do

#4 could be as simple as today’s message “walk through the house and pick up, and put away, anything that belongs to you. If it’s still out when I come home from work it’ll go into the garbage.” Or it could be a bit more complex. I don’t know, something like “vacuum the stairs where the dogs like to sit so I don’t see a mass of blackness on the carpet and in the crease of the stairs”

These are really not daunting tasks. Their beds are twin and full beds, and their rooms are 10’x10’? Give or take a few feet. Not that big of a space. And how hard is it to unload a dishwasher? Or to reload it for that matter?! Yet, day after day, K forgets to do something. Most of the time it’s her bedroom, and for me, that’s the deal breaker. The problem is K still wets the bed. (I know what you’re thinking – “Thirteen years old and wets the bed? Get that child to a psychiatrist.” But her pediatrician insists that she’ll grow out of it. If she’s still wetting the bed by the time she’s a freshman – then we’ll have to discuss other options.) Her room STINKS if she doesn’t wash her sheets. Yet she consistently “forgets” to put them in the wash in the morning. How does one “forget” to wash pee soaked sheets?!

I have tried everything to get her to realize that these few tasks are not an option. First we started by taking away whatever big plans she had for the week. She wanted to go to a friend’s house last Thursday. By Tuesday that was gone because neither Monday nor Tuesday did she do any of her chores. We’ve also curtailed her curfew from 8:30 to 5:30. She didn’t like that one bit. 
She’s supposed to go to my friend’s house tomorrow to help watch her kids while my friend makes candies for her sister-in-law’s Wedding Open House on Friday. Guess what? K didn’t do any of her chores today. 

Is there anyone who wants to meet for drinks after work so I can avoid going home?

All About Me

** I DON'T KNOW WHY THIS POSTED HERE!  I THOUGHT I COULD EDIT IT AND IT WOULD STAY IN THE SAME PLACE!!!  ANYONE KNOW HOW TO FIX THIS? **


Hello, whoever you are! My name is Erin and I'm a 30-something year old mother to two teenage girls. I'm ready to sell them on eBay or duct tape them to the floor - whichever comes first. This is my attempt at online blogging. I read so many blogs, and am fascinated by them all. The fact that people are so willing to open themselves up to complete strangers, and discuss children, jobs, family, hobbies... All the random things people blog about. I love it. I used to fancy myself as a writer when I was in grade school. I remember writing a story about a boy and girl going up a long hill. And they continued to go up the long hill. And three pages later they were still going up the long hill. My mother told me what a good story it was and I remember being so dang proud of it. Obviously, I realized eventually she just told me that to avoid hurting my feelings - but I digress...



My children are L who is a 15 year old freshman, and K who is a 13 year old 7th Grader. We also have two dogs - Tyson and Walker. Tyson is 6 and is becoming a grumpy old man, and Walker is 2 1/2 and is completely nuts. My girls, dogs and I live with my fiance, M. For the moment I'm choosing to keep their identities private. I haven't decided yet if I'll divulge entire names in the future or not. I don't care if anyone knows my name. I figure I started the blog I should at least let you know what my name is!! And I'm sure the dogs don't care if anyone knows their names either!


The biggest issues I have with L is that she wants to be such an adult. How can a kid who can't remember to brush her teeth every morning be an adult?! Seriously. I had to threaten her with publicly embarrassing her in school in order for her to remember to brush her teeth. So far two days and I haven't had to go through with my threat. I hope she continues to brush her teeth every morning because I really don't feel like going to the school with her toothbrush and toothpaste to pull her out of class in front of her classmates to brush her teeth. Don't get me wrong - I'll do it. I'm just saying I don't want to. She also thinks that she can wear whatever the heck she wants. She needs to think again. I don't care if B is allowed to wear the skirt that barely covers her bottom and has holes all over it. My child is NOT wearing that skirt. I don't care if D is allowed to wear belly-barring t-shirts. My child is NOT wearing that shirt in public. Maybe I'm *GASP* getting old, but there are certain things that I'm very against, and belly shirts and short hoochie skirts are two of them. However, I do allow L to wear a bikini in the summer. Go figure.


K is more of a complex child. She has a lot of... for lack of a better word I'll say issues. K is very stubborn. She knows what she wants, but the problem is she doesn't care who she hurts or what she does to get what she wants. She's had a rough time. The girls’ father and I divorced when they were very little - 4 and 2 years old - and their father is only now starting to be in their lives in a somewhat consistent manner. And he always has favored L over K. I attribute it to the fact that K was so young when we separated. K has issues at school as well. Due to her insistence that everything be her way she doesn't have a lot of friends, and while it breaks my heart as her mother, I can see why. I wouldn't have wanted to be friends with someone who always has to be right and has a very "If I can't win then I'm taking my ball and going home" attitude. She is also borderline dyslexic. I don't think I spelled that right. She's always had a hard time in school due to this and finally for the last two school years we've had her on an IEP (Individualized Education Plan) in which she has made Honor Roll three times. WOO HOO! That's huge for her. However, she doesn't like having an IEP because it's classified as "special education" which she attributes to "retarded". While we've tried to point out to her the differences between her reading difficulties and retardation - her stubbornness shows in the fact that she won't even let you finish a sentence before yelling "I'm RETARDED! That's why I'm in the SPECIAL EDUCATION CLASSES!" She's a work in progress.


I suppose that's enough for the moment, right? Thanks for reading and come back again!

Water Safety

I was catching up on a blog today http://mcnultyquads.blogspot.com, which for the record I love to read because their four children are absolutely ADORABLE!  However, a post from a week ago bothered me on a safety level.  Now, I'm NOT saying this family put their children in harms way.  Let me just get that out there first.  It bothered me on a Lifeguarding Safety level.  There was a photo of four very cute kids playing in the pool with little floaties around their mid sections.  They looked like they were having a blast.  I know from previous posts on this blog that the kids are taking swimming lessons but are not "swimming" yet, and by that I mean they are still learning how to put everything together.  I also know from previous posts that the mother was a swimmer as a child so I'm fairly confident that she's water-safety-conscious.

I realize that this photo may have been taken in the shallow end of the pool, and that the children may have been able to touch the bottom here, but in the scenario that they are not in a shallow area and able to touch the bottom - my warning to ALL parents out there is as follows:  NEVER LEAVE YOUR CHILD UNATTENDED IN ONE OF THESE FLOATIES.  EVER.  These are cheap, plastic floaties that are made for fun and NOT for safety.  They can rip, they can pop, they can develop a minuscule hole in the seam, and if a child who cannot swim is in one of these when that happens they will sink like a rock. 

I want to put it out there again that I am in no way saying this mother is putting her kids in harms way.  I'm sure that there were a pair of eyes on each child, and a responsible person within arms reach of all four of these kids while they were in the pool - I just felt a need to put this warning out there.

You may be asking yourself, "and just what is her criteria for considering herself such a safety guru?"  That's fine.  Skepticism is OK with me, and I'll tell you why.

• I've been in water my entire life. 
• I was a competitive swimmer from the age of 5 to the age of 16, and many of those years were year round swim clubs.
• I've taught swimming lessons to children of all ages (even taught some adult classes) for about 10 years
• I was a lifeguard for about half of those years.  I've never personally had to rescue anyone but I've been around and assisted when other lifeguards have.

The sad fact is that 3 of the 4 rescues that I've witnessed/assisted in were of children who were left unattended while wearing some sort of novelty floatation device.  Some people don't realize that these are not coast guard approved life saving devices and if a child is not monitored properly they can be injured.

My personal favorite, as a former lifeguard, is when parents bring their kids to the pool and think that they can let their children roam free while they sit on a chair and read a book or chat with a friend.  They think "Oh, the lifeguard is here.  They'll keep an eye on Little Johnny."  WRONG.  The lifeguard on duty is NOT YOUR BABYSITTER.  If you'd rather read or tan or chat then watch your child - bring a babysitter with you.  If your child is under the age of 13 or cannot swim and is any age you need to be the person watching your child.  The lifeguard has 40 or more people to keep an eye on.  He/She cannot devote all his time to Little Johnny because you can't be a responsible adult.

If you're reading this, and you have a child who cannot swim and uses one of these floaties, and you'd like to know what else your child can use - go to: www.kiefer.com  They have a great selection of floaties and life jackets for all ages.  They do carry some items I'd steer clear of.  Mainly anything that is inflatable.  To me inflatable = possibility of popping. 

Anything that is solid foam (or foam type material) is a good bet.  They can get chunks taken out of them and will still float.  I can't tell you how many noodles a pool goes through in a season because little ones like to bite them, but they last until they rip in half!  By the way, noodles are a GREAT item.  If your child is old enough to understand they need to hold onto it they're a fantastic device.  Even with the noodles though, a child who cannot swim needs a secondary devise.  I recommend the Kiefer Aqua-Cell Swim Belt.  They have removable squares of foam that you can add or remove depending on how much assistance your child needs.  I also recommend the Kiefer Swim N Play Trainer which also has removable squares of foam.  And finally, you can't go wrong with a life jacket.  They even make suits for boys and girls that have a built in life jacket.  As a swim instructor I hate these because they don't allow the child to be in the proper position for learning to swim (ie: Face down), but are good for playing at the pool.

Wow.  I think this is way longer than I wanted it to be.  I didn't mean to go on so long!  If you have any comments feel free to leave them!  

Father's Day

Father’s Day was on Sunday. We went camping at Blackwell Saturday night, like we always do for Father’s Day. It was a quiet time. Aunt Cass wasn’t there this year. She actually hasn’t been for the last few years for one reason or another, but this year it’s because all of my Dad’s siblings are mad at him and not talking to him. However, that’s an entirely different post. Uncle Mark wasn’t there either. He claims he had to work. I think it’s because he doesn’t like camping so he came up with an excuse this year, but it could be the truth. He’s been on two trips out of the country in the last 6 weeks so it’s highly possible that he had to work this weekend. It was just Mom, Dad, Eric, my girls and myself. Eric didn’t even bring Taz-the-Spaz because he couldn’t find her leash.

We went on a horse drawn hayride when we got to the campsite. Apparently my Mom was hoping the girls and I would get there early enough to go. They were only having the rides until 3pm and we showed up at about 2:30 or so. It was cheesy but it was something different to do. After that we set up camp. The girls and I had to sleep in Eric’s tent because the campgrounds only allow two tents per campsite, but was fine with me because then I didn’t have to air out and sweep out a tent at home. He can do it!

(Surprisingly, Eric said absolutely nothing about me telling him to go fuck himself for calling me a bigot and a racist. He talked to me like nothing had happened; he acted like nothing had happened. It was kind of anti-climatic. I was sort of hoping he’d be a dick so I could tell him off again!)

I had borrowed our friend’s bag game, so we played a couple games of bags. That got old quick because Eric and I were the only ones who really know how to play. Mom, Dad, K and L went on a “night-hike” as K called it. It was really only dusk but that’s what she wanted to do. We had pork steaks and baked potatoes for dinner and S’mores for dessert. In the morning we had omelets in a bag, packed up camp and came home.

It was a quiet and hot day. Nothing special really, but that’s what my Dad wanted so that’s what he got.

Sunday after getting home from camping we went to Lake Geneva.  We took Walker with us.  He was such a ham in the water.  He'd sit on the beach whining for whomever was in the water.  We'd let him go "get" whoever was out there.  His idea of "getting" you is to swim out to you, then turn around and swim back to shore, and sit there whining for you.  We didn't go to one of the bigger beaches because of him, so the beach we were at was litterally 10' from the road.  Because of that we couldn't let him off the leash.  He'd have run into the street for sure.  We weren't there really very long because K started getting whiny too about being hungry and not wanting to hold Walker.  It was her idea to bring him in the first place.

All in all it was a very quiet weekend.  Not a whole lot going on.  The kids are being kids.  In other words, they're fighting all the time, arguing with M and I all the time, wanting to do what they want to do all the time... And I sometimes wonder why I drink!

Why Do Sports Cost So Much?!

L’s soccer starts again in August. I had to register her for her travel season on Monday. Travel season usually consists of both Fall and Spring, with an optional indoor season in the winter. She’s been playing soccer since the 4th grade. She’s been playing travel soccer since the 5th grade, with the exception of 7th grade when we moved. That year she wanted to concentrate on making new friends in school and not worry about making new friends on a new travel team as well. I left that decision up to her, and she regretted it because she decided to play travel soccer again for a new team her 8th grade year.

This year the club she plays travel for has completely revamped what they include in their program. This is a good thing, but it ended up being costly for me. They now have three practices a week instead of two. They have a mandatory pre-season camp which was optional in prior years. They include the indoor season in their fees (indoor was optional in previous years) and include one indoor practice a week (there were no practices before) as well as their coach. Previous indoor seasons were run by a parent and were really just a way to keep the girls’ foot on the ball between seasons. They’re also including two tournaments this year instead of one as in previous years. OK, that’s a lot of stuff they’re adding, and it’s all good stuff, but it’s costing me $810 this year as opposed to $350 the previous two years. Holy Moly!

L originally started playing travel soccer in the 5th grade for a team that was, to put it nicely, crap. I paid a lot of money for the travel season for two years and she really got nothing out of it. Supposedly a chunk of the money was going for the professional trainer who attended her practices. However, he never showed up to any games, so how was he supposed to know what they needed to work on if he never saw them when it counted? The “coach” was a father of twin girls on the team, and all he ever did at games was scream at the girls from the sidelines. It was embarrassing to be around and more embarrassing for the girls playing.

She began to get really discouraged when they had won only 2 games in two seasons. The year that team increased their fee is when we were moving, so I promised L that if she wanted to play travel soccer we’d find a different team. That was when she decided to take a season off. 8th grade year she tried out for her current team. There weren’t enough players to make a U14 team (her age bracket at the time) so they played those girls up a level to the U15 team; which was a Freshman team. This meant that she only had a fall season to play. The high school level girls’ teams only play a fall season because high school plays girls soccer in the spring. The rule with the IHSA (Illinois High School Association) is that if you play for a high school team you can’t play for any other club at the same time. So bottom line, we only had to pay for half a season plus the indoor season which was extra and not mandatory.

The following year, last year, was similar in that there weren’t enough girls to play a U15 team so they played all those girls up a level again to U16. That year L was a Freshman so she also played only the Fall season for travel then played for the high school in the Spring. She really enjoyed playing for the high school, but was discouraged about halfway through the season. Her high school didn’t cut any freshman from any sport. Stupid if you ask me. I don’t think it helps anyone to be automatically accepted. How will you learn rejection in real life? Whatever. L was really pissed that she had to explain off sides, corner kicks, free throws, etc to girls who barely knew what the ball was. I told her it was life lesson on patience and understanding. Either way, she’s looking forward to playing next year if only due to the fact that they have cuts for JV and Varsity teams.

Before her indoor season started this previous year some of her teammates decided they didn’t want to play. One of those who didn’t play was the teams’ goalie. And this girl is REALLY good. None of the other girls had played that position. Somehow the parent running the indoor was able to hook up with two girls who wanted to play indoor but didn’t have a team to play on. The two girls were from L’s original travel team! One of them was a goalie but this poor girl sucked. The first game she let 7 balls into the net. The second game she let 6 into the net, the third game she let 8 into the net, and that was the last game anyone saw her at. Her family never called the parent in charge, never returned any of his phone calls or emails either. We think she was too embarrassed to return. It was so funny to watch them bicker over who “got to be goalie” after she left. They were actually vying for the position! We had a really crappy indoor season, but the girls understood that it didn’t really count for anything.

During one of the last games the coach from her original team showed up. He was there to coach his oldest daughter’s indoor team. Because he knew the two (by that time, one) girls who we picked up from his team for indoor he stopped to chat with those parents and watch a little of the game. He recognized me and made some comment that was supposed to be a joke about how disappointed he was that L had left “his” team, and how mad he was at me at the time, but the way he said it I knew he wasn’t really joking. I imagine he was pretty mad at the time. When L left “his” team she was probably one of his best players. I thought about saying something snotty back, because that’s how I am, but decided that a soccer game wasn’t the time or place. There were too many little kids around!

Now I have to go see how much gymnastics will cost for K…

Graduations, Going Aways, And When Does School Start Again?!

Quick weekend recap:  Attended a Graduation/Graduation & Going Away Party for two cousins this weekend.  Both from the same side of the family so it was a combined party.  Andy graduated from Medical School and starts his residence at University of Chicago (I think) shortly, and Brian graduated from High School and will be leaving for boot camp in about 7 days (give or take a few days).  It was nice to see all the family there.  I have relatives in Florida (Andy's parents) as well as relatives in Utah who were able to make it up for the party. 

We don't often get the entire family together so, of course, Eric's girlfriend Sarah had to take photos.  Even though I can't stand her I will say she does have a knack for taking really good pictures.  That's about the only redeeming quality about her as far as I'm concerned.  I know my Aunt Debbie doesn't care for her much either.  She and I were kinda laughing at something Sarah either said or did, and my Aunt Teri wanted to know why we were laughing.  She replied with, "Oh, but I like her!"  I told Teri, "That's because you're a nice person and you like everyone!"  Which is true, and that's fine if everyone else likes Sarah.  I don't.  Mostly because she's a bitch.  She's been everywhere, she's done everything, and she's fucking fantastic at it all.  AND she's adopted Eric's habit of criticizing my parenting skills which doesn't endear me to like her despite everything else.  Sarah once told K that I was a horrible person because I no longer do my kids laundry.  Really?!  I'd like her to wash 4 loads of laundry in a weekend only to see that washed, dried, and folded laundry end up on the floor of the child's bedroom instead of their drawers or hanging up.  Or to find the folded laundry from the previous week in the bottom of the hamper with the dirty laundry piled on top. 

I digress... This wasn't supposed to be a post about my dislike of Sarah.

So we had the party on Saturday.  M ended up leaving early to go to a poker tournament.  Which is fine with me.  He showed up, he ate dinner, he talked to people, he said his good-byes - it's fine.  He thinks my mom was mad that he left, but I don't agree.  My Uncle Doug, Aunt Cindy, Grandma, and Dad didn't care that he left.  Even if my Mom cared - who cares?!

Sunday we did our usual running around, but had a discussion of summer rules with the girls at dinner time.  M wanted to scare the bee-jesus out of L by telling her that he would be coming home at anytime, that we'd have neighbors watching the house, that my Dad would be showing up at odd times, etc.  I agree that rules need to be established, but I don't see the need for overkill.  We compromised with telling the girls the rules:

1. Absolutely NO BOYS in the house or in the garage at any time
2. Let M or myself know if a friend will be in the house (it's un-nerving to come home and find so and so in the house when you thought it was only your family)
3. Send either M or myself a text to let us know where they're going when they leave.
4. Clean up after yourself. 
For example:
Don't leave dirty dishes in the sink.  Either put them in the dishwasher or wash them by hand.  Put the toaster away and clean up the crumbs from your Pop-Tart, Toast, Bagel, Sandwich, etc.

We altered their time to be home to do their daily chores a little.  They're to be home by 5:30pm to do their chores.  They may leave again to go back outside after that on the condition that when I call them for dinner they come home.

They've already called me numerous times yesterday and I'm expecting the same today.  I'm about to forbid them from calling me at all unless they're dying or dead.

School starts again when?

Saying Goodbye SUCKS!!

It’s been two weeks since I’ve seen my P. I miss my P. I was so happy to have gotten to see her before she and family packed up and headed down South to Florida. The following is a “summary” of my two days of good bye…

K and I packed up into the car on Thursday morning about 8 am or close enough to it. We didn’t hit too much traffic on the way down at all. There was one section of 65-S that was pretty congested for a long while but that was really all we encountered.

I found out from D that the movers were scheduled to get there between 2 and 4 pm. They called D about 3 to let him know it was going to be closer to 4 before they’d get there. 4 pm rolls around. 5 pm rolls around. 6 pm rolls around. They didn’t show up until nearly 8 pm and they never returned any phone calls that D or P made to either the dispatcher or the drivers themselves. They weren’t done loading the truck until nearly 3 am.

In addition to them being 4-hours late, the lady who did the estimate didn’t send a big enough truck. P and D ended up with about 10 items of furniture that they were unable to take with them to Florida. P was so PISSED. I can’t blame her either. Luckily her sister’s neighborhood was having a huge community garage sale and all the items were able to be put out for sale. I think they all sold so at least they got some cash, but to have to pick and choose what furniture to take with you? That’s horrible. Because they didn’t send the right truck they didn’t quote her for the correct weight either. P ended up having to call the company at about 10 pm to come to a “binding agreement” to avoid major over-charges from the weight difference of the quote to the actual weight of the items.

Friday P called the moving company (MASTER MOVERS in Indianapolis in case anyone is actually reading this and is thinking about using them. Save yourself the hassle and DON’T use them) to try to get some sort of compensation for the headache of the previous evening (there was a lot of shit that wasn’t conveyed to P before she agreed to this company; which had it been she never would have agreed to them. Not to mention the fact that they were so late in starting the move that her son couldn’t attend school the next day because he didn’t get to bed until nearly 3 am) and this Brenda lady wouldn’t call her back. P was calling every hour, then every half hour, and it was around 2 pm before someone even answered the phone.

Other than the hassle with the movers, I was very VERY glad that I got a chance to see P and D and their three kids before they moved. It was hard enough to get to Indy to see them for a weekend. It’s going to be even harder to get to Florida.

I found out from P the other day that the movers were supposed to deliver their belongings by Tuesday, May 25th. As a matter of fact, P was PROMISED this repeatedly whenever she did speak with someone at MASTER MOVERS, aka The Shittiest Movers EVER. But their things didn’t get delivered until Saturday, May 29th. And on top of the horrible customer service – the movers lost the dining room table. When I was with them those days D was telling me all about how this piece of furniture is their most important, it’s the nicest piece they own outright, and he was hoping that they’d take care of it so it didn’t get damaged. P, D and I watched the movers wrap it with 50 blankets and 1,000 rolls of tape, and take it to the truck. When it showed up missing D apparently hit the roof. The delivery driver marked on the receipt that the table was missing, P has the papers of all the items they packed onto the truck which lists the table, but the company insists that they never took possession of the table. And of course – they weren’t returning any of P’s calls.

I told her to call the BBB on this company, and threaten them with legal action. Not that I’m so sue hungry that I think anyone who doesn’t deliver as promised needs to be sued, but sometimes I think with companies this shady that’s the term that gets their attention. They hope you will get tired of chasing them and give up. When you don’t give up and you say, “Call me back within 24 hours or I’ll seek legal advice” that usually gets a response.

It did. They called D finally. I think P scares them. All they said though was that D and P need to file a claim. The problem with that is how P’s going to know that they’re going to do anything with the claim. I have a feeling that this will not be a situation that will be cleared up anytime soon. I think this is going to be a battle for a while.

I think I’m going to go search rental cars now. I want to see if I can make a family trip to Florida the week before school starts in August to visit them again. I have a feeling M will come with this time, too!

Phone Calls

Why is it that I can’t leave my house for 5 minutes before one, or sometimes both, of my kids calls me? They do it all the time. I’ll go to the grocery store and they’ll call to see where I am. While I’m thinking - Hello?! Did you not bother to look on the kitchen table for the note I left you telling you where I was going? Of course they didn’t. That would be reasonable. So they will read it, while they keep me on the phone, only to ask, “Well. When will you be home?” My standard response to this is question has become, “When I walk in the door.”

I don’t like to sound like a bitch, but they do this every time I walk out of the house. I think they deliberately wait until I’m at the end of the street to call me. I wouldn’t be surprised to find out that they’ve got some sort of conspiracy going on about it either.

“You go follow her car down the street, making sure to stay out of sight, until she puts on her blinker to turn onto Woodhill. Then call me on my cell and I’ll call her with the most ridiculous question known to man.”

“Do I wait until she’s turned or do I call as soon as the blinker is on?”

“As soon as the blinker is on so her phone will ring in the middle of the turn and she has to dig in her purse to find it with one hand. It will be funnier that way.”

I really think they have conversations like this. It never fails. I will be in the middle of turning and my phone will ring. I have a different ring tone for different people because, well because I’m a dork like that, but without even hearing the ring tone full force (it gets louder as the ring goes on) I know it’s them. It’s gotten to the point where I’ll answer the phone with, “What can you possibly need now that I’m no longer at home? What is it that’s so unimportant that you didn’t to ask me two minutes ago but has since become so important it can’t wait until I get back from the gas station?”

I know that’s really a bitchy way to answer a phone call from your kids, but damn! I just want to be able to go to the grocery store, gas station, post office ONE TIME WITHOUT THEM CALLING ME!!