I’m truly at a loss as to how a 13 year old kid can remember what it was that I said to her 3 months ago, yet she can’t remember to pick up her dirty laundry or make her bed before she leaves in the morning. This is especially frustrating to M because, as far as I’m concerned, has no memory of his childhood years at all. He insists he was perfect all the time; did whatever his Mother and Grandmother asked of him; was never mouthy or sulky as most Teens are. I have a feeling that if I ever asked his Mother about him and being a Teen she’d have many stories to tell.

Yet, I digress. I have tried everything to get it through K’s head that she has a few things that need to be done before she leaves for the day. Not only do these items not change from day to day, I also write her (and her sister) a note before I leave for work. It’s always on a full sheet of plain copy paper, and written in red Sharpie marker. It’s always placed on the kitchen table in a spot where you cannot miss it. Unless, of course, you’re trying to miss it. If that’s the case then I could staple it to their foreheads before I leave for work and they’d still claim they never saw it.

All they have to do before they leave for the day is:

• Make their bed
• Pick up their floor (dirty clothes, shoes, garbage, etc)
• If it’s their day for dishes they need to unload and/or load the dishwasher
• Check the note for anything else I’ve left them to do

#4 could be as simple as today’s message “walk through the house and pick up, and put away, anything that belongs to you. If it’s still out when I come home from work it’ll go into the garbage.” Or it could be a bit more complex. I don’t know, something like “vacuum the stairs where the dogs like to sit so I don’t see a mass of blackness on the carpet and in the crease of the stairs”

These are really not daunting tasks. Their beds are twin and full beds, and their rooms are 10’x10’? Give or take a few feet. Not that big of a space. And how hard is it to unload a dishwasher? Or to reload it for that matter?! Yet, day after day, K forgets to do something. Most of the time it’s her bedroom, and for me, that’s the deal breaker. The problem is K still wets the bed. (I know what you’re thinking – “Thirteen years old and wets the bed? Get that child to a psychiatrist.” But her pediatrician insists that she’ll grow out of it. If she’s still wetting the bed by the time she’s a freshman – then we’ll have to discuss other options.) Her room STINKS if she doesn’t wash her sheets. Yet she consistently “forgets” to put them in the wash in the morning. How does one “forget” to wash pee soaked sheets?!

I have tried everything to get her to realize that these few tasks are not an option. First we started by taking away whatever big plans she had for the week. She wanted to go to a friend’s house last Thursday. By Tuesday that was gone because neither Monday nor Tuesday did she do any of her chores. We’ve also curtailed her curfew from 8:30 to 5:30. She didn’t like that one bit. 
She’s supposed to go to my friend’s house tomorrow to help watch her kids while my friend makes candies for her sister-in-law’s Wedding Open House on Friday. Guess what? K didn’t do any of her chores today. 

Is there anyone who wants to meet for drinks after work so I can avoid going home?