Tired

I'm tired of my kids not understanding that money doesn't just grow in my wallet.  That it doesn't just appear in the bank.  I try and try to get them to realize that fundage is tight - and by tight I'm talking basically non existant tight - and as much as I'd LOVE to give them money to go to the mall with their friends, or to the movies, or to the High School football game, it's just not possible.  I'm tired of being broke and constantly having to tell my kids that I can't get them this or that, or take them here or there.

L wanted me to stop at McDonalds on the way home from the doctors office last week.  I told her I didn't have the money.  Her response was "Just go to the bank then."  What the hell?  Does she think that the bank just hands out money like samples at the grocery store or something? 

My biggest irritation with her is she's such a tight ass with her money, yet she thinks I poop it out or something.  She cuts my dad's lawn over the summer.  He pays her $20 each time.  From that $20 he gives her $10 and the other $10 goes into a savings account he opened for her.  I think that's great.  (It's much better than the IRA account he tried to talk her into a couple years ago.  Yea.  I put a nix on that one.  She'd like to be able to get the money out at some point before she's 18 so she can buy a car or something.) 

At one point over the summer she'd saved up $80.  I knew some was for a fair she was planning on going to and some was for Plato's Closet (a clothing resale shop - I explain because I don't know if they're just a local thing or all over), but I also knew she had some for "extras".  She planned on going to dinner with friends to Olive Garden.  She was getting ready for this dinner and asked me for $20.  I asked her where her money was and that little brat had the nerve to say to me (and quite snotty, too) "Why would I use MY money?  Can't you just give me money?"  She was lucky she had a friend over so all I said was "Well, why would I use MY money on a dinner that I'm not even going to?  Use your own money.  Things like this are what you're saving your money for anyway."  She was not a happy person.  God forbid she have to use her money on her dinner.

These are the things that bug the hell outta me.  I can't stand the fact that I can't afford to give my kid $20 so she can get dinner when she's going out somewhere special.  I can't stand the fact that no matter what I try to do my bank account is always in the red. 

It fucking sucks.

I Have A Confession...

Hello.  My name is Erin and I'm an addict.  I'm addicted to reality TV.  All sorts of Reality TV.  I am addicted to shows that have kids in them specifically (those aren't the only reality TV shows I watch).  I don't know why.  It could be because these shows make me realize that my kids aren't as bad as they seem sometimes, or that instead of having two kids I could have enough kids to form a league of some sort. 

There are some reality TV shows that I refuse to watch.  The Duggars for one.  I realize that everyone is entitled to their own beliefs (if you've read my blog for any amount of time you already know this.  If not - read my earlier posts.  I'd link them here, but honestly, I don't know how) and that's all good, but there comes a point where that woman is going to be chasing one of her kids up the stairs and her uterus is going to fall out.  I also refuse to be sucked into the cesspool that is Jersey Shore.  I have friends who swear this is the FUNNIEST show ever, but I don't see it.  They irritate me with their shellacked hair, fake tans and stupid nicknames.

I used to be a fan of Jon and Kate Plus 8 until that blew up into a competition of who's the better parent.  Been there done that.  I don't need to relive that period in my life.  Granted I had less kids then they do, but none the less.  Divorce is messy when there are kids involved no matter how you try, and I don't feel like reliving that time of my life.

I have moved onto bigger and better things!  Big Brother for one.  There is nothing better than being a virtual fly on the wall in a house with 13 people and watching them tear each other apart for $500,000.  Granted I've only watched the last two seasons, but I'm hooked on it now.  I can't wait until next summer!  My other guilty pleasure is Teen Mom.  I know this falls into my previously mentioned "been there done that" phrase, but it's a train wreck I can't turn off, and in fact have preset into my DVR to record faithfully.

Teen Mom is sort of along the lines of Supernanny for me.  When I watch Supernanny I realize that my kids aren't the worst kids EVER.  When I watch Teen Mom I realize just how far I've come.  I was a teen mom.  I was only 17 when I got pregnant with L, and 18 when she was born.  I can't tell you how many times, when she was a toddler, I was told what a good "big sister" I was for watching my "little sister" for my mom.  I watch these girls, who have made some HARD decisions in their lives, live with those decisions and struggle to do what they think is right.

It's such a train wreck for me because I've been there!  I know exactly what they're thinking and how their brains are working.  I thought it would all be fine and dandy, too.  Oh yes I did!  I was sure that Ken would have his job forever, we'd live in a little house and life would be grand.  Little did I know that Ken would job-jump his entire life (He's still doing it and he's 39 now), we would live - quite literally - hand to mouth, and we'd move 8 times in four years.  By the time we got evicted from our 2nd apartment in a row I'd had enough.  I didn't want to live like that anymore, and I didn't want our kids to live like that anymore.  I was lucky enough to have parents who let me and the girls move back home.  I was lucky enough to have that support and be able to get my GED and get a job and become a stable parent my kids needed.  Had my parents not be willing or able I have no idea where I'd be right now, but it wouldn't be pretty.

Kids Say The Cutest Things

This weekend we went to our friend's, Jenny and Scott's Engagement Party, and received the strangest greeting from children that any of us had EVER received before!  And that's saying a lot!

Jess, Abbey, Mike, M and myself were around the bonfire in the backyard.  Jess and Abbey were talking.  Mike and M were talking.  (I had the benefit of watching both greetings from the other side of the bonfire where I was attempting to keep my nasty cigarette smoke away from the group as they don't indulge in the dirty habit I'd LOVE to kick.  That's another post.):

Greeting #1

A little girl about 8 years old came up to Abbey from behind Abbey's chair, and instead of saying hello or a typical greeting - she reached out and ran her hand through Abbey's hair.  Abbey originally thought it was either Mike (her husband) or M as that's a typical thing they'd do to her just to get a reaction from her.  The look on Abbey's face when she realized that not only was a stranger petting her, but the stranger was a child was PRICELESS!

The little girl never said a word to Abbey.  Just petted her a couple times and then walked away!  Abbey said hello to her but she never acknowledged! 

Greeting #2

(This happened at almost the exact time Abbey's Greeting By Petting occurred which made it even funnier.)  Mike and M were talking.  A little boy about 3 years old walked up to Mike and said "I'm Donald and I'm just a kid."  Mike laughed and said "I'm Mike and I'm just an adult!"  Donald then says "Yea I know, but I'm just a kid!"  Donald then turned around and walked away.  He came back though.  With Yoohoo in a plastic wine glass.  He sat next to Mike and told Mike what he had in his glass.  Mike asked Donald if he knew what goes good with Yoohoo.  Donald said he didn't, so Mike told him Rum.  Donald said "Rumpelstiltskin?!?!  That's so FUNNY!!!!!"  Donald then laughed so hard he fell out of his chair.

We met another little boy.  We found out later his name is Colin (and he happens to be one of Jen's five kids).  We were sitting there with Donald, who at this point would tell anyone that he had Rumpelstiltskin in his glass, when another kid who looked to be about 2 or 3 years old sat down.  Since he sat next to me I asked him what his name was.  He said "I free (3)"  I thought he misunderstood me so I tried again.  "What does your mom call you?  I'm Erin and this is Abbey.  Who are you?"  He looked at me like I was dense.  "I free" he said.  "My borfday is Ausist firty-first"  So Abbey tried, "I'm Abbey.  That's Donald next to you.  What do we call you?  Three?"  He looked at her like SHE was dense now.  "Yea.  I free."  We gave up and for the rest of the evening we called him Three!

Before we realized he was indeed one of Jen's kids we were joking that he was probably one of their kids, and because between Jen and Scott they have so many kids (7 kids under the age of 6, including 2 sets of twins) they've given up on names and just call them One, Two, Three, etc.  Later we found out he IS Jen's son; is 1/2 of the first set of twins; he and his sister just turned 3 August 31st; technically he is her third born!!

Jen's oldest Daughter, Madelyn, was another funny kid.  She had been playing Queen with the hair petting girl.  She'd come out of her bedroom yelling down the hallway "Move back!  Move back!  Queen coming through!  Move back!"  At one point she was on the porch.  Mike was trying to get into the house and she wouldn't let him pass, because he didn't bow to her!  She insisted she was the Queen and he needed to bow first.  He insisted that he was bigger, which made him a King, so he didn't have to bow.  He finally realized he was losing this verbal battle with a 5 year old so he picked her up and moved her.  When he came out of the house she followed him into the yard.  She stood behind him with her arms crossed and glaring daggers into his head.  When he turned around all she did was use her pointer finger and middle finger to point at her own eyes, then point her finger at him!  She then stalked off!!!  I think I just about wet my pants at this point.

I cannot convey to you how incredibly funny these kids were.  After the strange greetings I was laughing so hard I'm embarrassed to say it but will put it out there anyway - I farted.  Then Donald fell out of his chair laughing at Rumpelstiltskin and we met a kid who thought his name was 3, and the hair petting girl decided to become my BFF for about 10 minutes while she ordered M to go to Taco Bell, it was too much!  Scott and Jen need to have more parties and just invite us and these kids. 

And Twins Make FOUR!

One of my best guy friends, Will, told me last night that his wife, Marnie, is pregnant.  Again.  Oh boy.  Not that I'm not happy for them, but they got married right after they found out that Marnie was pregnant with their first child, Lilly.  Lilly just turned 2 this past July 4th.  Then when I was talking to Marnie around Lilly's First Birthday she told me they were pregnant again.  Now they have a little boy as well.  I'm ashamed to say that I've never met their son, and I can't even remember for sure what his name is.  I think it's something like Logan and I think he's something like 7 or 8 months old now.  (I know I'm a horrible friend, but it's hard to find time to get together with people who're your friends, but who don't run in your "circle of friends".  I'm working on it.  I really am.)

Will had called me on Tuesday night but I didn't answer the phone because I was watching Sons of Anarchy.  Yes, I'm addicted to that show as well as countless others.  He left me a voicemail message but I didn't pick up the message until yesterday afternoon.  (Have I ever mentioned that I SUCK at returning phone calls?  I do.  I don't do it intentionally, but I'll get a call at a time when I can't answer - mostly during the work day - and I make mental notes to return the call... But I always forget.  I really try to remember, but most of my friends know how I am.  I don't do it intentionally.  I really don't.  I'm just not a big phone conversation person.  Text me though and I'll carry on one hell of a conversation that way!)  Anyway, his message said he had big news for me but that I had to call him back to find it out.  For crying out loud, Will!  When I called him last night I was sure he was going to tell me that he'd left Marnie.  I was gonna shoot him through the phone.  I don't know why I was so sure of that...  I'm very glad to report that's not the case.  They're pregnant again.  And this time it's twins.  I told him he needs to get his shit snipped.

His poor wife has been pregnant for... too long.  When Lilly had her first birthday they were pregnant with Logan.  When Logan has his first birthday they'll still be pregnant with the twins.  Will insists that she's been on the pill and they've always used condoms, but I have a very hard time believing that.  She said from the start that she wants a lot of kids.  Will always joked that if she was serious she was with the wrong guy.  A part of me thinks she sabotaged their birth control, but I don't know her that well so I can't say that for sure.

Hearing about this pregnancy makes me feel badly for the kids, too.  Will's an electrician and doesn't have a steady job.  Marnie used to be a florist but quit after Lilly was born and never went back.  I know money is tight for them.  So tight it's non-existent at times.  Now they're going to add two more mouths to feed and all that comes with that, which will trickle down to Lilly and Logan.  I just hope that Will can get a steady job cuz he's going to need it.  He's going to need the insurance coverage that will come with a steady job, too.  Hopefully it'll cover a vasectomy.

However, I'm glad to hear that they're all healthy.  Lilly and Logan are, and so is Marnie and the twins.  I've decided that the next weekend I don't have plans for already, will have a scheduled visit to the Will and Marnie household so I can see Lilly-Pad again and meet Logan.  Finally.

TOLD YOU!!

I should have been a doctor.  Or a nurse.  Then again... Maybe not.  I can't stand blood and needles and seeing people in pain.  Yea, that's why I'm not a doctor.

I took L to the doctor yesterday so she could tell me what I already knew.  Surprise, surprise.  L has a sprained ankle.  She was given an air cast and told to stay off her foot anytime she wasn't in school.  She's to come home, elevate the leg, ice it, and take ibuprofen every 4 to 6 hours.  This means no gym class and no soccer for two weeks.  It also means that she's not allowed to go running around with her friends after school which I can tell you without a doubt she is NOT happy about.  She actually thought she'd be able to go to her boyfriend's house today after school, and to the football game then a girlfriend's party on Friday.  She's outta her damn tree is what she is.

The rule with L and her soccer is simple.  We paid too much money for her to miss any practices or games.  Not that she was prone to this but there were occasions in the past where she'd claim cramps to avoid playing in a game or being too tired to attend a practice.  It's time for her to buck up and realize she made a commitment to this team.  We agreed to pay the outrageous amount of money for her to make that commitment to this team, and she will participate in all of the team events.  Obviously a sprained ankle needs to heal in order for her to participate.  I get that.  But if the ankle is to heal she has to stay off it as much as possible.  That means she can't go running around at football games, at parties, or to her boyfriend's house.  

I laid it out for her last night and she "doesn't understand".  Of course!  I explained to her that if she's too hurt to participate in soccer, she's too hurt to go out with her friends.  If she decides that she's ok to hang out with her friends, she can go to soccer.  I also laid out her options about her healing, and ultimately about soccer as well:

1.)  Go out with her friends, don't go to soccer, and don't go to Homecoming. 

2.)  Go out with friends, go to soccer, and go to Homecoming. 

3.)  Stay home for a while, let her ankle heal, return to soccer in 2 weeks and go to Homecoming.

I think it's pretty obvious.  Some people may think I'm being mean (L for one), but I don't see why I have to go into debt to pay for soccer and then allow her to act like it's nothing.  I know that injuring her ankle wasn't done on purpose, but I'm trying to get her to realize that when you make a commitment such as she did there are costs associated with that.  Both monetary and socially, and sometimes you have to give up doing something you really want because it's the right thing to do.

Am I being too mean to her?

Apparently the consensus on L's soccer team is that I'm a Bad Mother without actually being called a Bad Mother.  Because of this I'm forced to take my daughter to the doctor, spend the $30 on the co-pay in addition to whatever else the insurance ends up not covering, so I can be told that her ankle is sprained.  I can tell you right now without going to the doctor that her ankle is sprained.  I can also tell you that it's not broken.  No, I'm not a doctor or a nurse, but I've seen enough sprained wrists and ankles in addition to K's broken wrist two years ago to know the fucking difference.  I'm not one of those parents who will rush their child inside to the couch with a glass of juice and a cold compress because they tripped over their own feet.  I'll see my kid fall, I'll check out their scrape when they come inside, I'll wash it off - maybe put a bandage on it if necessary - and send them back outside. 

Me: "Oh, you fell?" 
Child: nods
Me: "Can you move it?"
Child: nods and moves body part
Me: "You'll live."

L rolled her ankle at soccer practice on Thursday.  Her ankle was pretty swollen Thursday night, but no bruising and she could move it as well as put weight on it.  Friday the swelling was starting to go down.  Friday night her ankle started to bruise along the bottom of the swelling.  Saturday the swelling had gone down even more.  Does anyone see a pattern here people?  It's.  Getting.  Better.  However, because I sent her to her soccer game on Sunday to sit on the bench with her team and show her support for the team even though I asked that they not play her, I'm labeled a Bad Mother.  Because I didn't take her to the ER Thursday night or to the doctor on Friday.  Her Coach was floored apparently that I didn't immediately rush her to the doctor.  He told her that if I'm not going to take her to the doctor then she needs to go see the Sports Trainer at school and they "can at least tape it up for you."  It makes it sound like I refused to let her ice it, wrap it in an ace bandage, or take any Tylenol.  (For the record, she has been doing all three.)

When K broke her wrist two years ago she broke it in two places.  I believed she was being the Hypochondriac that my children have a tendency to be.  Her wrist swelled in the two places where it was broken, and was bruised immediately, but only in those two spots.  I will admit that was an instance in which I should have taken her to the doctor but I was sure that it was just a bump and we didn't go to the doctor until the next morning.  Part of that was due to the fact that K wanted to attend the Kids Night In (a D.A.R.E. event held at the local bowling alley where the kids from her school were fed massive amounts of pizza and sugary sodas, and then let loose in the bowling alley for an all night Lock In.) and knew she wouldn't be allowed to go if she went to the doctor.  When her friends mom brought her home the next morning she laid in bed for 20 minutes just sobbing into her pillow because her arm hurt so badly.  I finally decided that a trip to the doctor was in order.  When the doctor said it was broken in two places I felt terrible.  To this day K won't let me forget that.

L's ankle is nothing like K's wrist.  I'm positive that it's only sprained, but guess what?  I'm taking her to the doctor tomorrow morning so that I can spend money I don't have for a doctor to tell me what I already know.  All because I can't stand the fact that people think I should run to the doctor every time my child falls.  There are times when a doctor visit is warranted and times when it's not.  This is not one of those times.  Why am I going again?

Mini-Vacation Over :(

I started to write this post and then realized that I was blabbering.  I mean, really, who cares that I spent two hours walking around Target "just because I could"?  I realize that I'm more like my Grandpa T than I thought.  That man just can't get to the point of a story to save his life!!  Although he is 84 so I guess he gets a pass on his story telling.  I'm sometimes surprised he can remember where his story was going to begin with.

Let me see if I can just "recap" my Mini-Vacation...  I did pretty much - Nothing.  Nada.  Zilch.  And while that's kind of frustrating because it was supposed to be a Vacation and that word in itself implies FUN, it was still relaxing to do nothing.  M tried to golf 18 holes on Thursday with Justin but they got kicked off the green just after teeing off on the 3rd hole due to lightening and pouring rain.  They got a voucher for a free game and a golf cart, so what did they do?  They went back on Friday.

L had her tournament on Saturday and Sunday.  Her team looked better than they did for the "Friendly" game the previous Saturday, and each game (two on Saturday and one on Sunday) they looked better and better; however, they lost game #1 on Saturday, tied game #2 on Saturday, and lost game #1 on Sunday. 

The team they played on Sunday is ranked 20th in the state.  They held their own for the first half and were actually winning 1 - 0.  In the second half they fell apart, the other team got it together, and they lost 1 - 3.  It would have been a tie except the other team got two penalty shots (direct shot in front of the goal with no defenders).  One was a bullshit call.  The girl from the other team tripped.  When she went down she grabbed her knee to make it look like our girl kicked her leg, which our girl did not.  That's considered playing the man and not the ball.  Because they were in the boxed off area in front of the goal it resulted in a penalty kick.  The second penalty kick was because our girl DID play the man and not the ball.  The girl from the other team had to be carried off the field.

You would think that I'd have remembered to wear sunscreen Saturday after burning my face off the previous Saturday, but I'm not that smart.  I ended up with a crispy face again after this weekend.  Saturday night M and I went to the Buffalo Grove Days Fair with Justin, Jessie and Karly to see a band called American English (they're a Beatles cover band) and Justin told me later that when he couldn't find our group after a beer run all he had to do was look for my glowing face.  Nice, Justin.  I love you too, Asshole!

Sunday night Beth and Craig came over for a fire.  It was a relaxing evening.  Beth was in a rare mood.  She doesn't often get drunk, but she tied a couple on and took one for the team.  I was getting another beer when she pulled "A Beth".  That means she stood up, lost her balance, tried to sit back down, landed on the arm of the chair instead of the seat, and fell over backwards.  She did this once at their house and cracked her head against their fence.  That time I saw it.  I wanted to help her because she hit her head, but I was laughing so hard that I knew if I got up I'd wet my pants!  I completely missed this time.  Apparently she hit the edge of the grill.  She's ok though.  She didn't hit it that hard I guess because she was laughing about it when I returned to the porch.

All in all it was a good 5 days off.  Now I'm counting down to Thanksgiving - my next extended weekend!!

T-Minus 55 Minutes!!!

It's T-Minus 55 minutes until my 5 day vacation!!  Yay!  I had originally wanted to take this vacation the week before school started so the girls, M and I could do something to celebrate the end of summer, BUT M's work decided to screw him over - again - and give someone else approval for vacation after they'd already told M he could take off.  Then decided to tell him, "Whoops.  Too bad.  You can't take off anymore on the days you wanted to, but you can take off the week before Labor Day."  Maybe that's actually a good thing.  He got an extra "day off" out of it - Labor Day.

The girls are back in school now so it's just going to be M and me tomorrow and Friday.  We had planned on going to Downtown Chicago to take one of the Water Tours, but OF COURSE it's supposed to rain tomorrow and then be chilly on Friday.  Blah.  I've always wanted to go on one of the Water Tours in Chicago.  I've lived my entire life (with the exception of 1 year and 3 months of HELL living in Columbus, IN with my ex-husband.  Hell being the ex-husband - not Columbus, IN.) in Chicagoland and have never been on one of these boats.  For our 8th Grade Trip we did go on the Spirit of Chicago, which is a boat that goes on the lake.  I don't remember much of that trip other than my friend Margot got a sunburn around the beautiful braid that hung down her back, one of my least favorite teachers showed up in a white skirt with navy stockings and white shoes which made all of the girls snicker at her, and the food and DJ were very good.  Other than that?  I remember nothing.  So yea.  I'd have liked to be able to take the Water Tour but I'm not about freezing my ass off or sit in the pouring rain on a damn boat when technically I can go to the city anytime I want.

L has her first soccer tournament this weekend in Palatine, IL.  Good thing is it's not far from us, about 45 minutes (an hour with construction).  It's far enough that I'm not going to be coming home in between the games which I've done with previous tournaments she's been in, but not so far that I have to get a hotel room and stay overnight.  I told her to bring her homework, a book, her iPod, etc.  I'm planning on getting a bunch of fruit from Caputos (a market close to me that has FANTASTIC prices on produce), making a bunch of sandwiches, and bringing the cooler.  Hopefully It's not too hot and not too cold on Saturday.  (This reminds me, I have to go to the library tomorrow!)

I saw this awesome sports tent at Sports Authority the other day.  It was basically a golf umbrella on steroids.  If you took an opened umbrella, laid it on the ground, and attached flaps to the sides to create a little side wall that is what you'd have with this sports tent thing.  The floor model they had on display had two chairs underneath this thing with room for a cooler in between the chairs and room on the other sides.  I want this badly.  Then I wouldn't have to sit on the bleachers and burn my face off.