Blah...

I got a raise at work.  I don't know why.  I still don't do anything except fuck around on the computer all day.  What's that phrase?  "Don't look a gift horse in the mouth"?  Yea.  The shit's gonna hit the fan when Craig finds out.  He already thinks I'm overpaid.  I told M not to say anything to Craig at bowling on Friday, but I have a feeling it's gonna slip out somehow. 

We have two Halloween parties to go to.  One is this Saturday at Paul & Nicole's, and the other is next Saturday at Karly's.  I'm using the same costume for both and because I'm cheap, or broke however you wanna look at it, I'm making my costume again this year.  Last year I drew a big P on a green shirt, and used black makeup to make one of my eyes black.  I was a Black Eyed Pea.  This year I'm going to wear my normal clothes and hang a sign around my neck saying "Nudist on Strike".  I think it's kind of clever, but M thinks it's cheating.  This from the guy who REFUSES to dress up in a costume - until this year of course.  The one year we don't have the money to spend on a costume he's going to wear once - although I guess he'll technically wear it twice, but still.  He bought a Whoopie Cushion costume.  He looks like a gigantic hot water bag.  He thinks it's funny.  I'm not in agreement.  It's funny, just not as funny as he thinks it is.  He wants to find a fart machine to put in his pocket under the costume.  If we had the money for it, I'd tell him to make sure it's got a remote so I can make him "fart" at random times.

K wants to have a sleep over on the 30th with a bunch of friends, and I'm not sure what L's plans are yet.  She doesn't voluntarily talk to me about anything, and trying to ask her questions is like pulling teeth.

K is supposed to get her braces off in November.  I don't know how to tell her that it's not happening yet.  I have to pay off my balance first but there's NO WAY I'm gonna be able to do that in time.  I talked to the ortho and he's less than pleased, but I can't give him what I don't have.  This just goes to show why I'm so pissed at M for spending money we don't have.  He doesn't get it that $30 here and there adds up.  I don't know how to make him understand.  I've tried to put him on a budget but he always blows it and is like "meh... What are ya gonna do?"  I'm thinking about opening up my own checking account and paying off my bills.  The problem is we're too far behind on everything.  I don't know what to do...

Tired

I'm tired of my kids not understanding that money doesn't just grow in my wallet.  That it doesn't just appear in the bank.  I try and try to get them to realize that fundage is tight - and by tight I'm talking basically non existant tight - and as much as I'd LOVE to give them money to go to the mall with their friends, or to the movies, or to the High School football game, it's just not possible.  I'm tired of being broke and constantly having to tell my kids that I can't get them this or that, or take them here or there.

L wanted me to stop at McDonalds on the way home from the doctors office last week.  I told her I didn't have the money.  Her response was "Just go to the bank then."  What the hell?  Does she think that the bank just hands out money like samples at the grocery store or something? 

My biggest irritation with her is she's such a tight ass with her money, yet she thinks I poop it out or something.  She cuts my dad's lawn over the summer.  He pays her $20 each time.  From that $20 he gives her $10 and the other $10 goes into a savings account he opened for her.  I think that's great.  (It's much better than the IRA account he tried to talk her into a couple years ago.  Yea.  I put a nix on that one.  She'd like to be able to get the money out at some point before she's 18 so she can buy a car or something.) 

At one point over the summer she'd saved up $80.  I knew some was for a fair she was planning on going to and some was for Plato's Closet (a clothing resale shop - I explain because I don't know if they're just a local thing or all over), but I also knew she had some for "extras".  She planned on going to dinner with friends to Olive Garden.  She was getting ready for this dinner and asked me for $20.  I asked her where her money was and that little brat had the nerve to say to me (and quite snotty, too) "Why would I use MY money?  Can't you just give me money?"  She was lucky she had a friend over so all I said was "Well, why would I use MY money on a dinner that I'm not even going to?  Use your own money.  Things like this are what you're saving your money for anyway."  She was not a happy person.  God forbid she have to use her money on her dinner.

These are the things that bug the hell outta me.  I can't stand the fact that I can't afford to give my kid $20 so she can get dinner when she's going out somewhere special.  I can't stand the fact that no matter what I try to do my bank account is always in the red. 

It fucking sucks.