Our friend Justin's brother, Brent, is getting divorced from the bitch that we're all convinced brainwashed him into becoming the worlds biggest Douche Canoe. She is a piece of work.
As a small example of her idiocy I offer you this tidbit of information:
When Abbey was getting married (Abbey is Brent and Justin's only sister) she wanted Brent to be in her wedding. She'd also requested that Brent's children, Annabelle and Anthony, be part of her wedding as well. Abbey and Kristen (Brent's soon to be ex) have never gotten along so Abbey never requested Kristen to be a part of her wedding. Two weeks before Abbey's wedding Kristen came up with this gem of stinking bullshit "we're a family unit and as such we do things as a unit or we don't do them at all." Because Abbey absolutely refused to include Kristen in her wedding Kristen was refusing to allow her children OR Brent to be a part and they all pulled out of the ceremony. Two weeks before the wedding. Who does that?! They then attended the wedding and I personally overheard Kristen telling other guests that they were kicked out of the wedding party.
So it came to our attention yesterday that Brent and Kristen are getting divorced. Justin and Jess are beyond thrilled because they're hoping that they get the old Brent back eventually. What absolutely boggles my mind is the fact that she is taking him to the cleaners. Apparently between child support for one child (only Annabelle is biologically his; Anthony still has a relationship with his biological father) and alimony he's losing 60% of his salary. How is that even possible?! He has to be able to live!
On the one hand I'm pissed that he's getting hosed, but I know that he's made his bed and now has to lie in it. On the other hand I'm pissed that this bitch is getting a free ride. I sure as hell didn't get a free ride when I got divorced. In fact I was flat out denied alimony (not that I would have ever seen a dime - he hardly pays child support) because there was no proof that I was unable or unfit to hold a job. My children were 2 and 4 at the time. Kristen's kids are 10 and 8 and in school all day, and she's got an associates degree! There's no reason on earth that she can't get a job, she's just lazy.
I've also been told that he has to continue to pay the mortgage on their house. She's going to continue living there with both kids and move her Mom in. If I were Brent I'd demand that she sell the house or buy him out. Why should he continue to pay a mortgage for another 20+ years when he's not living in the house and only one dependent is there?! In my opinion Brent's lawyer is failing at his job miserably.
Lianna & Kiley
Friday, March 23, 2012
Monday, March 19, 2012
Hello There
Hi! My name is Erin and I pee my pants.
I had a history of bladder infections as a child necessitating several tests involving catheters to diagnose the cause. (Turns out I was just stubborn and wouldn't stop playing to go use the bathroom. Go figure!) Using a catheter (I've been told) pokes a teeny tiny hole in your bladder. Use a catheter several times and you get the picture.
I've had two kids. Hello?! Need I say more?! Well... unless you've not had the pleasure of baking a human I'll share - they do a number to your bladder while you're so lovingly cooking them up. (Among the other things they do to your body and mind both during pregnancy and beyond...)
If I sneeze? I will pee my pants.
If I laugh too hard? I will pee my pants. (And it doesn't take much to make me laugh.)
If you tickle me, if I yell too loudly, if you startle me, if I bounce in a bounce house, if you hug me too tight - I can guarantee you I WILL PEE MY PANTS.
Ryan, a friend and a "Shop Guy" at work for the week, didn't believe me when I told him that the reason I stopped in the hallway and crossed my legs to sneeze was to avoid wetting my pants. He had to prove me wrong. All he proved by giving me a surprise bear hug was that I was right. Very right.
I peed my pants and had to use my lunch hour to go home to change....
I had a history of bladder infections as a child necessitating several tests involving catheters to diagnose the cause. (Turns out I was just stubborn and wouldn't stop playing to go use the bathroom. Go figure!) Using a catheter (I've been told) pokes a teeny tiny hole in your bladder. Use a catheter several times and you get the picture.
I've had two kids. Hello?! Need I say more?! Well... unless you've not had the pleasure of baking a human I'll share - they do a number to your bladder while you're so lovingly cooking them up. (Among the other things they do to your body and mind both during pregnancy and beyond...)
If I sneeze? I will pee my pants.
If I laugh too hard? I will pee my pants. (And it doesn't take much to make me laugh.)
If you tickle me, if I yell too loudly, if you startle me, if I bounce in a bounce house, if you hug me too tight - I can guarantee you I WILL PEE MY PANTS.
Ryan, a friend and a "Shop Guy" at work for the week, didn't believe me when I told him that the reason I stopped in the hallway and crossed my legs to sneeze was to avoid wetting my pants. He had to prove me wrong. All he proved by giving me a surprise bear hug was that I was right. Very right.
I peed my pants and had to use my lunch hour to go home to change....
Thursday, March 15, 2012
Grown Up Decisions For Not So Grown Up Kids
Lianna made the decision a few months ago to not participate in Girls Soccer for high school. On the one hand I'm proud of her for realizing that when you have too much on your plate something has to go. On the other hand I feel sort of bitter about the fact that she had to make this decision. Her reasoning for making the decision to cut out soccer was for several factors:
1- She works part time. On days that she works she has to be at work at 5pm. Soccer practice for the high school is every day right after school until 4:30. That wouldn't allow her enough time to shower and change, as well as get to work on time. I did ask her to see if she could cut her hours back from a 5pm start time to a 6pm start time, but she didn't want to do that.
2 - She decided to get this ferret (aka Kitty). Kitty needs to be out of her cage at least 2 hours a day; preferably 3 to 4 hours a day. If she has soccer then work, Kitty wouldn't be out of the cage hardly at all because Li wouldn't get home from work until 9:45 at the earliest - sometimes even as late as 10:30.
3 - Between work and Kitty she has to have some time to do her homework. While she does have a study hall during the day (took study hall in anticipation of needing it for soccer) that doesn't really allow her time to complete all her assignments. She'd still have a few hours of homework after work.
4 - She wants to have some sort of social life. Like I said, we discussed having her change her start time from 5pm to 6pm, but we also discussed her working during the soccer season only one day a week and then working on Saturday and Sunday. Again, she wants to have some sort of social life and working all weekend would not allow that.
These reasons are why Li decided not to continue with soccer. All these reasons are good and valid reasons as opposed to just not wanting to do it anymore - which really wouldn't be a bad thing either unless it was the middle of a season. All of these reasons make me a little sad that she's not playing anymore. She's played some form of soccer since the 4th grade. With the exception of when we moved and she wanted to take a year off to make new friends, she's played every season. Sometimes two and three seasons.
I'm a little sad to see this portion of her life go away. She was never the Star Player on any of her teams, but she really did enjoy playing the game. She liked being known in her group of friends as the Soccer Player. I asked her yesterday if she misses playing for the school. She said she does miss playing but not enough to want to give up her social life or even Kitty. She said she feels a little sad on game days when the team are all wearing their jerseys in school, but again not enough. I asked her if she wants to participate in Park District soccer in the fall. They only practice twice a week and have a game on Saturday. She said she'll think about it.
I, for one, will be rejoicing in the fact that I don't have to shell out a ridiculous amount of money for travel soccer or a smaller yet still ridiculous amount of money for the school athletic fee. I'd rather pay the $85 for the Park District.
1- She works part time. On days that she works she has to be at work at 5pm. Soccer practice for the high school is every day right after school until 4:30. That wouldn't allow her enough time to shower and change, as well as get to work on time. I did ask her to see if she could cut her hours back from a 5pm start time to a 6pm start time, but she didn't want to do that.
2 - She decided to get this ferret (aka Kitty). Kitty needs to be out of her cage at least 2 hours a day; preferably 3 to 4 hours a day. If she has soccer then work, Kitty wouldn't be out of the cage hardly at all because Li wouldn't get home from work until 9:45 at the earliest - sometimes even as late as 10:30.
3 - Between work and Kitty she has to have some time to do her homework. While she does have a study hall during the day (took study hall in anticipation of needing it for soccer) that doesn't really allow her time to complete all her assignments. She'd still have a few hours of homework after work.
4 - She wants to have some sort of social life. Like I said, we discussed having her change her start time from 5pm to 6pm, but we also discussed her working during the soccer season only one day a week and then working on Saturday and Sunday. Again, she wants to have some sort of social life and working all weekend would not allow that.
These reasons are why Li decided not to continue with soccer. All these reasons are good and valid reasons as opposed to just not wanting to do it anymore - which really wouldn't be a bad thing either unless it was the middle of a season. All of these reasons make me a little sad that she's not playing anymore. She's played some form of soccer since the 4th grade. With the exception of when we moved and she wanted to take a year off to make new friends, she's played every season. Sometimes two and three seasons.
I'm a little sad to see this portion of her life go away. She was never the Star Player on any of her teams, but she really did enjoy playing the game. She liked being known in her group of friends as the Soccer Player. I asked her yesterday if she misses playing for the school. She said she does miss playing but not enough to want to give up her social life or even Kitty. She said she feels a little sad on game days when the team are all wearing their jerseys in school, but again not enough. I asked her if she wants to participate in Park District soccer in the fall. They only practice twice a week and have a game on Saturday. She said she'll think about it.
I, for one, will be rejoicing in the fact that I don't have to shell out a ridiculous amount of money for travel soccer or a smaller yet still ridiculous amount of money for the school athletic fee. I'd rather pay the $85 for the Park District.
Friday, March 9, 2012
Teaching Kids to Say Funny Shit
Jessie is having a Spa Day tonight at her place. She found some company that will come to your house and do spa services for pretty cheap. Stuff like facials (not the dirty kind, you pervs!), manicures, pedicures, massages (no happy endings!), etc. I'm not sure if it cost her anything to set it up but we all will pay for our "spa packages" on our own. They're pretty cheap. I'm getting the cheapest because my package doesn't include the cocktails - obviously! My package is a mini-manicure (meaning no artificial stuff; just buff, shape and polish I think) and a chair massage and will only cost $34. Not bad!
Last night Jess asked me if I could come and hang out with the kids for a little bit so she could go to the store by herself and get stuff she needed for tonight's Spa Party. Ki and I went over there and played with the kids. We played Old Maid about 7 times. I forgot what it's like to play games with little kids, especially when one is special needs. Ema, that little cutie, she would get so excited if she had a card that anyone asked someone else for that she gave it away every time! She didn't quite grasp the concept that you needed to keep the cards you had a SECRET. Ahahah!
Then I taught Andrew to say "what the WHAT?!" with hand motions and everything!! Most of the time I teach him to do crazy shit because he looks so stinking cute doing them that I can't help myself, but this time I didn't even do it on purpose! Madie was on a roll "guessing" exactly who had what card and was just running a train on that game. (She dealt the cards that game and I caught her peeking several times!) Anyway - she guessed my card for the third time in a row and as I handed it to her I said "what the WHAT?!" Andrew was next to me trying to tickle me and he repeated it perfectly - hand motions and everything!!
Later when Jess got home and told the kids to put on their pajamas Andrew said it! Hand motions, facial expression, the works! I died!!!! I couldn't stop laughing and nearly peed my pants! The look on Jessie's face was PRICELESS!! She immediately turned to me and said "You did this!!" I think it took me 5 minutes before I could speak coherently. I told her I didn't do it on purpose but she had to admit it was fucking funny!
She had Andrew do it for Justin this morning and she said he got a kick out of it. I taught Andrew to do this thing where he clenches his fists and tightens his face up, and kinda shakes... I wish I had a picture if it to show you, and I actually have a video of him doing it but #1 I don't know how to get it off my phone and into my computer and #2 I'm not putting his face out there in cyberspace for the world to see when it's not my child. Sorry people. Anyway, my little brother used to to that face all the time, and I remember Lianna doing it also. I know it's not just my family that does it - I've seen other kids do it, but when I got Andrew to do it the first time Justin was so mad at me! At the time Andrew was having pooping issues - it was hurting him pretty badly to poop. He did it once for me and pooped - and SCREAMED bloody murder for about 10 minutes. I felt bad but I didn't know he was having issues. Once Justin got over the fact that I wasn't trying to hurt his kid on purpose he found the humor in it.
They've both told me that I'm in trouble when this kid is old enough to teach tricks to! I figure no matter what they "teach" him/her it won't be nearly as funny as when I taught Li to call my older brother a Crack Baby. She spent four days calling him Unka Kak Bebe!
THAT was funny.
Last night Jess asked me if I could come and hang out with the kids for a little bit so she could go to the store by herself and get stuff she needed for tonight's Spa Party. Ki and I went over there and played with the kids. We played Old Maid about 7 times. I forgot what it's like to play games with little kids, especially when one is special needs. Ema, that little cutie, she would get so excited if she had a card that anyone asked someone else for that she gave it away every time! She didn't quite grasp the concept that you needed to keep the cards you had a SECRET. Ahahah!
Then I taught Andrew to say "what the WHAT?!" with hand motions and everything!! Most of the time I teach him to do crazy shit because he looks so stinking cute doing them that I can't help myself, but this time I didn't even do it on purpose! Madie was on a roll "guessing" exactly who had what card and was just running a train on that game. (She dealt the cards that game and I caught her peeking several times!) Anyway - she guessed my card for the third time in a row and as I handed it to her I said "what the WHAT?!" Andrew was next to me trying to tickle me and he repeated it perfectly - hand motions and everything!!
Later when Jess got home and told the kids to put on their pajamas Andrew said it! Hand motions, facial expression, the works! I died!!!! I couldn't stop laughing and nearly peed my pants! The look on Jessie's face was PRICELESS!! She immediately turned to me and said "You did this!!" I think it took me 5 minutes before I could speak coherently. I told her I didn't do it on purpose but she had to admit it was fucking funny!
She had Andrew do it for Justin this morning and she said he got a kick out of it. I taught Andrew to do this thing where he clenches his fists and tightens his face up, and kinda shakes... I wish I had a picture if it to show you, and I actually have a video of him doing it but #1 I don't know how to get it off my phone and into my computer and #2 I'm not putting his face out there in cyberspace for the world to see when it's not my child. Sorry people. Anyway, my little brother used to to that face all the time, and I remember Lianna doing it also. I know it's not just my family that does it - I've seen other kids do it, but when I got Andrew to do it the first time Justin was so mad at me! At the time Andrew was having pooping issues - it was hurting him pretty badly to poop. He did it once for me and pooped - and SCREAMED bloody murder for about 10 minutes. I felt bad but I didn't know he was having issues. Once Justin got over the fact that I wasn't trying to hurt his kid on purpose he found the humor in it.
They've both told me that I'm in trouble when this kid is old enough to teach tricks to! I figure no matter what they "teach" him/her it won't be nearly as funny as when I taught Li to call my older brother a Crack Baby. She spent four days calling him Unka Kak Bebe!
THAT was funny.
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
Update. Because I'm A Crappy Blogger...
Update, huh? Ok, here goes:
Sarah and I finally had a talk about the girls dresses. She's going to buy the girls dresses and I'll get them the black heels to wear with them. It wasn't nearly as dreadful a conversation as I thought it would be and actually went pretty smoothly. So that's taken care of.
I had to rush to my OB yesterday because I started bleeding. I was freaking out. This wasn't just some spotting which I know is common this was like the beginning of my miscarriage in October - bright red and more than spotting. By the time I got to the Dr I was a mess. Thankfully I don't work (or live) far from my OB's office and I was there in about 10 minutes. They got me in right away and while the nurse was taking my blood pressure I couldn't stop crying. Thankfully it wasn't the Ugly Cry, but I still was a mess.
My OB did an internal ultrasound and the baby is fine! Thank GOD! I saw him/her kicking around and saw the heartbeat. There was some fluid around the sac between that and my uterus but my cervix was closed and plugging everything up like it's supposed to. My OB explained it as a leak in your house will find the path of least resistance and this excess fluid did the same thing. I was ordered to be on "bed rest" yesterday and if there were no more complications I was able to return to normal activity today - which I am. I'm just not allowed to jump around, lift anything heavy, or run a marathon. Darn, there goes my weekend plans: Lifting weights and running the Chicago Marathon. Yeah, right!
I have another ultrasound on Wednesday the 14th as a follow-up so hopefully I can breathe easy after that. That weekend will be the official end of my first trimester. I'm hoping that I can make it that far and further...
Sarah and I finally had a talk about the girls dresses. She's going to buy the girls dresses and I'll get them the black heels to wear with them. It wasn't nearly as dreadful a conversation as I thought it would be and actually went pretty smoothly. So that's taken care of.
I had to rush to my OB yesterday because I started bleeding. I was freaking out. This wasn't just some spotting which I know is common this was like the beginning of my miscarriage in October - bright red and more than spotting. By the time I got to the Dr I was a mess. Thankfully I don't work (or live) far from my OB's office and I was there in about 10 minutes. They got me in right away and while the nurse was taking my blood pressure I couldn't stop crying. Thankfully it wasn't the Ugly Cry, but I still was a mess.
My OB did an internal ultrasound and the baby is fine! Thank GOD! I saw him/her kicking around and saw the heartbeat. There was some fluid around the sac between that and my uterus but my cervix was closed and plugging everything up like it's supposed to. My OB explained it as a leak in your house will find the path of least resistance and this excess fluid did the same thing. I was ordered to be on "bed rest" yesterday and if there were no more complications I was able to return to normal activity today - which I am. I'm just not allowed to jump around, lift anything heavy, or run a marathon. Darn, there goes my weekend plans: Lifting weights and running the Chicago Marathon. Yeah, right!
I have another ultrasound on Wednesday the 14th as a follow-up so hopefully I can breathe easy after that. That weekend will be the official end of my first trimester. I'm hoping that I can make it that far and further...
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