Things That Irritate Me While Driving

#1 - People who stop too long when turning right at a red light in which they have a green right turn arrow.  Yes, stop and make sure that some douche bag isn't going to run a red light, but dammit!  Don't sit there forever!

#2 - People who apply their brakes 1/2 a block from the stop sign or light.  Really?  Are you so bad at stopping that you have to have one foot on the gas and one on the brake at all times?

#3 - People who tap their brakes when the person in front of them tap theirs.  Every.  Stinking.  Time.

#4 - People at a stop light who leave enough room for a tank between themselves and the car in front of them.  I get that the car in front of you may be a stick, and that car may therefore roll backwards a little before moving in the forward motion again, but this does not mean that you need to block my access to the turn lane.

#5 - People who inch up on me at a light because they want to turn right while I'm going straight.  This will not have the desired effect you want.  I do move forward so they can get through if their car is not a gas guzzling SUV.  They think that will make me want to get so far into oncoming traffic as to get smooshed just so they don't have to wait the 3 minutes to make their turn?  I've been in a head on collision before and don't feel like trying a t-bone collision next time.  Fuck you.  My car will now either be put into Park or Reverse depending on your level of impatience.

If I'm ever diagnosed with a terminal disease in which there is no cure and no hope, I don't want Hospice.  I want a beater of a car spray painted with "THE ENFORCER" on all sides and to be let loose on the roadways of America.

Despite all these things that irritate me while driving, I'm really not a bad driver.  Nor am I a Road Hog or anything else.  I just would like driving courtesy to apply across the board.

Randomness...

The girls are gone this week.  *Insert little happy dance here*  SFB and his mother picked them up Monday evening.  I had to talk to SFB about Ki's medication and her reading she has to do.  When I got inside my house after talking to him I wanted to bathe in bleach.  He's so disgusting I can't believe I sunk that low.  In my defense he wasn't the drug addict/douchebag then that he is now, but - yes - I was slumming back then.  As a parting gift from his meth addiction he's missing all of the visible teeth from the top of his mouth, and the bottom ones are so rotted I don't know how the hell they're still in his face.  (FYI - He's sober now or I never would have let the girls go with him.)  So no kids all week!  YAY!  That means no attitude, no phone calls at work "She won't let me use the computer!", and no arguments!  

My Mom and I went to dinner and a movie last night as a late Mother's Day for her.  She finally picked a date to go even though it was 2 months after the fact.  We had pizza at this place called Rocco Vino's.  The pizza was good, the beer was good, the appetizer was meh.  We ordered a Tomato, Mozzarella, Basil appetizer - I can never remember how to spell the name for this appetizer - and was sorely disappointed.  How can you fuck up an appetizer that is so simple a preschooler can make it?  I'll tell you... First you have to charge $7.  Then when you bring it out on this ginormous plate make sure that what you've brought out are under ripe Roma tomatoes that are sliced too thick, use a barely-there sprinkling of Basil and way too much pepper.  Very disappointed in that!

We did go see Bridesmaids though!  What a funny movie!  I won't spoil it for anyone who hasn't seen it yet, but if you're on the fence about whether or not to see it - I say you need to see it.  You will laugh.  You will cry.  You will have a good time.  Promise.  Even the guys can enjoy this flick.  It is a bit of a Chick Flick but there's enough funny and story in it to appeal to them as well.  Oh, and Maya Rudolph?  I wanna be her BFF.    'Nuff said.

My cousin's fiance, DocFrock, is here now!  Check her out.  She's nerdy.  She's girly.  She's Nerly!  (Her words, people!)  Yay!  Hi, Doc!  While bored at work I sometimes will flip through blogs, or check out blogs others follow.  I'm not sure how I came to be at DocFrock's blog, but I thought I recognized her photo, so I stopped to visit and - Surprise!  Like the unexpected toy in the cereal when you were a kid, it was her!  Welcome, Doc!  (I will warn you ahead of time that I use this forum to bitch.  A lot.  And nothing is off limits.)

Friday Jessie, Justin and kids depart for their week long vacation in Pennsylvania.  Mike and I have been asked to be Pool Boy and Fish Girl.  Mike needs to go every day or two and check the chemicals in their pool, and I have to go to bring in their mail and feed their fishies.  They've told both of us to feel free to use the pool, but I think I'd feel weird without them there.  

Pri's husband Dan found me on Facebook today.  I miss them so much.  I can't believe they've been in FL for over a year now.  That's how long it's been since I've seen them.  It sucks being poor and having a shitbox of a car.  If my car was at least able to put that many miles on it I'd plan a week vacation and drive to see them. If I tried to drive I'd be broken down on the side of the road in Tennessee convinced that psycho-killers are going to get me.  I can't fly because even though airfare for one person can be super cheap, it's not super cheap when you add two more people.  There's no way I'd be going to FL and not be taking my kids.  

I need to win the lottery...

I'm A Bad Mom!

I was looking for pictures of Ki last night on my home computer and in my box of photos that are VERY organized *ahem*.  Ok.  Fine.  They're a bunch of pictures that are just thrown into the box with no rhyme or reason what-so-ever.  Happy now?  After sorting through them as much as I could I came to realize that I don't have many pictures of her as a baby or as a toddler.  I was stumped.  I knew that I had taken many photos of her as a baby.  Then it dawned on me.  SFB (Shit For Brains = Ex-husband) took her photo album when he took Li's photo album when he raided the storage unit we had.  There went my photos of her as a baby.  We didn't have digital cameras then so those physical photos were the only copies I had.  When I seperated from him I didn't have any money for a camera so I relied on my Mom's rather annoying habit of getting in your face with a Nikon for documentation of my kids during those years.  I'll have to raid my mother's catche of photos and make a montage of kid pictures soon. Anyone know of any online sites to make a cute photo show?  I'll have to dig around and see what I can find.

I did a lot of driving today and therefore a lot of thinking.  Never a good combination.  Never.  However I want to do a post about complete random bits of information about myself.  Then I thought some more and realized that it would take too long to come up with random thoughts.  I also realized that I'm a pretty boring person and therefore who really cares about my random thoughts?!

On that odd note I'll leave you with some photos of our 4th of July party that I was able to transfer from my phone to my computer.  Don't ask me how.  It involved a lot of begging, some whip cream, and I think a hairless rat...  It's a bit fuzzy.

 Friends should not let friends jump in Bounce Houses...

 Girl talk in the Bounce House

 Stef and Sammy

 Katelin Rose

 Andrew (or Little Man as I call him)

 Allison (this kid is FEISTY.  Her parents are in for it in a few years)

 A few of our group - Watching the Bounce House

 Matt couldn't wait for dark - he was like a little kid!

 Arsenal #1 (Yes, I'm aware of the propane tank - it was empty and nothing was lit anywhere NEAR this garage)

Arsenal #2 

 Arsenal #3

Arsenal #4

 I have several friends who like to leave empties in various locations for me to find later.  My all time favorite is in the toilet tank.

 Justin and Chris - Chris was like a kid too!  He couldn't get enough!

 I got this picture at the PERFECT moment!  It looks like we started something on fire but this was as the firework was exiting the tube.

 Yup.  That's us.

 So is this

 Again - Us!

 We had a LOT to clean up the next morning.

My dog, Tyson, was freaking out about the fireworks but wouldn't just stay upstairs.  He had to come down. Katelin was trying to make him feel better - which normally would NOT stand for a small person touching him.  That goes to show how freaked he was.

This last one is the Grand Finale that the guys set up.  It was good but it took them something like 45 minutes to get it "just right".  Our neighbors were all out on their lawns or in their driveways by this time.

That's it for now!  I'm really going to find what pictures I can for a "Montage" of photos sometime next week. Stay cool this weekend!!

I'm Sorry!

I've been trying for DAYS to write a post about our 4th of July party, but I want to include pictures.  Since my camera battery died after taking 4 stinking pictures when the damn battery had been charging ALL friggin day I had to resort to taking my pictures with my Blackberry.  Good news is that my blackberry has a really good camera, the bad news is that it takes too much time and effort to email those pictures from my phone to my email address and... Well.  I'm lazy.  So a post, complete with pictures, will be forthcoming.  Eventually.  For now you have to settle for "It was a fantastic night full of bounce house, alcohol, fireworks, alcohol, a fire in the fire pit, and alcohol."  I will let you in on this one little secret: 

Bounce House + Weak Bladder = Bad Idea.

'Nuff said.

This past Sunday my father, Lianna, Kiley and I went to visit my Grandfather (my Dad's Dad if you will) in St. Louis.  He was forced to move into an assisted living facility this weekend due to his inability to care for himself any longer.  Truthfully he should have moved here about 2 years ago, but my aunt who's in charge of his health and well being decided that he should stay in his house.  Whatever - he's where he needs to be now and that's all that matters.

It was a quick trip - we left for St. Louis Sunday morning and arrived there at about 2:30 or 3 pm.  We took Grandpa out to dinner Sunday night, met him for breakfast on Monday and were back home around 4 pm Monday afternoon.  After dinner on Sunday my Grandfather noticed my engagement ring and the following conversation took place (Keep in mind that my Grandfather is 87 and while his long term memory is pretty sharp the short term is shot.):

Grandpa:  You're married?

Me:  Not yet, Grandpa.  I'm engaged. 

Grandpa:  Is he married?

Me:  No Grandpa!  

Grandpa:  Are you sure he's not married?

Me: Yes, I'm pretty confident he's not married.

A couple of minutes later we had this beauty (this time keeping in mind that Grandpa's never met M.):

Grandpa:  Are you married?

Me:  No Grandpa.  Not yet.  I'm engaged.

Grandpa:  You'd better keep an eye on him.

Me:  Why's that?

Grandpa:  Because he has a wandering eye.

Me:  He does?  How do you know this?

Grandpa:  He's got his eye on another girl.  You'd better watch him.  Marry him soon.

Me:  Grandpa?  How do you know all this?

Grandpa:  I can tell.  By the way he acts.

The whole time I'm trying very hard not to bust out laughing because he seemed very serious.  I told my dad about this conversation while we were on an alcohol hunt for the hotel room and my dad said that he thinks my Grandpa was just messing with me.  Apparently my mother has never known when to believe my grandfather or when to ignore him because apparently that's how he entertains himself.  I'm not so sure this is what he was doing.  As he was asking me the questions he looked very serious.

It was a good visit though.  My Grandfather is definitely where he needs to be now.  He's very forgetful and has had several small strokes while no one was around - it was time for him to move into a facility.  He's not completely on board yet - for some reason he believes that he's just trying it out and will move back to his home very soon - but over time he will be just fine.

 Lianna, Grandpa, Kiley and my Dad

Now for the BIG ANNOUNCEMENT OF THE DAY!!!

Kiley is officially 14 years old today!!  

Happy Birthday, Kiley Ann Marie Louise Hungry Pig Booger Cookie Kaka

I have no clue why these came out so small... And unfortunately I don't have a lot of photos of Ki here at the office.  I'll have to see what I can dig up at home and post tomorrow for you all!

Laters Gators!!