Happy Holidays

I hope everyone had a good Christmas. We had a quiet, scaled back Christmas this year. We’re trying to save money, and teach the girls that it is the thought that counts, not the quantity.

Several weeks prior to Christmas each of the girls gave me a list and those lists were ordered according to importance, or desire I should say. I had a set budget in mind for each girl and stayed within the budget (Yay ME!) for both. It was a bonus, for me, that the number of gifts was equal as well. Despite their assurance that they understand there is a set dollar amount, I have a feeling if one child had less gifts to open than the other it would have resulted in bad feelings. So… Crisis averted.

Christmas morning we had to go to my older brother’s condo because he proposed to his girlfriend that morning. He wanted it to be “special”. I get it. Whatever. It was crowded. 13 people plus 2 large dogs in a 2-bedroom condo does not make for a comfortable time. Thankfully we weren’t required to be there all day. We dropped M off at home and the girls and I went to my Aunt and Uncles’ house. We used to do this every Christmas but I have not been there for Christmas Day in nearly 4 years. Christmas is also my cousin Cody’s birthday. This year was his 18th birthday and I wanted to see him on his birthday before he goes off to college next year. M had no desire to go and that was fine by me. He stayed home and ate pizza.

I had vacation days on Monday and Tuesday, and M had vacation on Monday so we took the girls to Kmart to return some shoes they had gotten as gifts, then to Best Buy to see if there was anything we wanted to use our gift cards for there. By then the girls were tired of being with us and wanted to hang out with their friends, so we dropped them off at home and M and I went to Buffalo Wild Wings for lunch.

Yesterday, I decided to take both girls and one friend each to a place called Extreme Trampoline. This is a fantastic place! It was ridiculously crowded, but for only $11 a person for an hour it was awesome! They have these huge trampolines (a total of four plus a foam ball pit) and the kids just go nuts! There’s a section for little kids ages 3 – 7, another section for kids ages 8 – 13, another for kids ages 14 and up, a sectioned off trampoline for Dodgeball (ages 5 and up), and finally a mini trampoline that you can bounce off of and into a foam ball pit. There was no way my fat ass was getting on those trampolines, but it sure looked like fun. L and her friend said it started to get boring after about 45 minutes so 1 hour was perfect. K said her stomach muscles hurt after we left. I figured it was from 60 minutes of constant jumping. I then took K and Apryl bowling. L and Becca didn’t want to go bowling because it’s “stupid”.

Al l said I think it was a fun Christmas Vacation and for once we didn’t all get into screaming matches!

How was your holiday?

Honesty

Since the description of my blog is something along the lines of "my journal of living with teens and surviving" or something like that I figure I should at least own up to that and actually chronicle my kids lives, right?  I also figure since I'm relatively unknown "here" there's the protection of autonomy to a degree.  I don't use my kids or fiance's full names and I don't use last names.  Yes, my name may be out there but not my full name therefore I'm still unknown.  Laying down all these anonymous examples I guess I should at least be honest.

I haven't been writing much lately because I've been... preoccupied.  Around the beginning of November I got a call from K's school regarding a fighting issue at school.  I think I documented that, but what I didn't disclose was that fact that another girl, not involved in the drama, found K in the bathroom with a pen cap sawing at her wrists.  Her issues at school, and with peers, are so much more than just "girls being girls".  K's a very angry kid.  She's also a very loving kid, but the anger shows SO much more often than the loving part.

While I recognize that what she was doing is not a normal reaction to stress in any way, I also recognize that a large part of it was an attempt to get attention.  K's school social worker told me that K's showing red flags for depression - her issues with peers and any authority, her total lack of interest in schoolwork, and her lack of communication with anyone about anything of importance among other things.  The issue I've been dealing with the past month or so is that her school social worker, while she won't stop seeing K, is not equipped to deal with social issues of this magnitude.  The second issue I've had is that my girls are on the Illinois State Insurance program.  This is fantastic only because I would pay more week in deductions from my paycheck for insurance through my job than I pay for a month with the State Insurance.

The downfall is that when it comes to specialized services like dentistry or mental health, It's more difficult to find a doctor who accepts the insurance.  That's what I've been dealing with for the last month.  Just trying to find a psychologist who will accept the insurance, or one who won't charge me $120 a session.  I don't have $120; not to be confused with not wanting to pay that - I don't have it.  I did find three psychologists during my first call to the Insurance but they were all in Chicago (I HATE driving in the city) and they were all booked until late February or March.  I can't wait that long. 

I finally found a psychologist but had to switch the girls PCP first which really bugs me because they'd been with their pediatrician for at least 9 years.  I couldn't make an appointment with this psychologist until I'd switched PCP's, and had K go in for a physical and referral to their psych doctor.  Only to find out that he's not even really a psychologist but a clinician.  He did tell me about a Behavior Health group, who accepts the State Insurance, who I was able to get K an appointment with next week.  I'm just hoping that K will be honest with them and not try to blow it off as no big deal. 

So there it is.  That's what I've been dealing with for the last month.  I love my kids no matter how screwed up they may be and I'm scared to death that K will fall off the edge.  Happy Holidays, huh?