Since the description of my blog is something along the lines of "my journal of living with teens and surviving" or something like that I figure I should at least own up to that and actually chronicle my kids lives, right? I also figure since I'm relatively unknown "here" there's the protection of autonomy to a degree. I don't use my kids or fiance's full names and I don't use last names. Yes, my name may be out there but not my full name therefore I'm still unknown. Laying down all these anonymous examples I guess I should at least be honest.
I haven't been writing much lately because I've been... preoccupied. Around the beginning of November I got a call from K's school regarding a fighting issue at school. I think I documented that, but what I didn't disclose was that fact that another girl, not involved in the drama, found K in the bathroom with a pen cap sawing at her wrists. Her issues at school, and with peers, are so much more than just "girls being girls". K's a very angry kid. She's also a very loving kid, but the anger shows SO much more often than the loving part.
While I recognize that what she was doing is not a normal reaction to stress in any way, I also recognize that a large part of it was an attempt to get attention. K's school social worker told me that K's showing red flags for depression - her issues with peers and any authority, her total lack of interest in schoolwork, and her lack of communication with anyone about anything of importance among other things. The issue I've been dealing with the past month or so is that her school social worker, while she won't stop seeing K, is not equipped to deal with social issues of this magnitude. The second issue I've had is that my girls are on the Illinois State Insurance program. This is fantastic only because I would pay more week in deductions from my paycheck for insurance through my job than I pay for a month with the State Insurance.
The downfall is that when it comes to specialized services like dentistry or mental health, It's more difficult to find a doctor who accepts the insurance. That's what I've been dealing with for the last month. Just trying to find a psychologist who will accept the insurance, or one who won't charge me $120 a session. I don't have $120; not to be confused with not wanting to pay that - I don't have it. I did find three psychologists during my first call to the Insurance but they were all in Chicago (I HATE driving in the city) and they were all booked until late February or March. I can't wait that long.
I finally found a psychologist but had to switch the girls PCP first which really bugs me because they'd been with their pediatrician for at least 9 years. I couldn't make an appointment with this psychologist until I'd switched PCP's, and had K go in for a physical and referral to their psych doctor. Only to find out that he's not even really a psychologist but a clinician. He did tell me about a Behavior Health group, who accepts the State Insurance, who I was able to get K an appointment with next week. I'm just hoping that K will be honest with them and not try to blow it off as no big deal.
So there it is. That's what I've been dealing with for the last month. I love my kids no matter how screwed up they may be and I'm scared to death that K will fall off the edge. Happy Holidays, huh?
