I wasn’t trying to be a bitch it just kind of came off that way

I made a friend angry by inquiring about a personal situation in an around a bout fashion.  I didn't want to upset her directly by asking her point blank.  

Quick rundown for you:

·         Justin & Melissa are together for 10+ years.  They have two children together plus Melissa’s oldest daughter from a previous relationship.

·         Justin reconnects with a friend from high school, Kristin.  At the time Kristin was married & the two couples hung out together a lot.

·         Kristin and her husband divorce.  Kristin and Melissa become attached at the hip.  So attached they are that Justin & Melissa (as a couple) decide to invite Kristin into their bed.  (Whatever, they’re adults.  Not what I’d do but I’m not a factor here so who cares.)

·         Melissa decides that this is not something she’s comfortable with continuing after the first time.  Her opinion was “It was fun but it’s not for me”.

·         Justin & Kristin continue to have an adult relationship behind Melissa’s back, and Kristin becomes pregnant.

·         There’s a lot of drama for a while, but in the end Melissa decides that what is done is done and she will welcome the child as Justin’s.

·         Over the course of the next 1 ½ to 2 years Melissa & Kristin’s relationship deteriorates to the point where Kristin won’t let Justin see his daughter unless Kristin’s there to supervise. 

·         This causes tension between Justin & Melissa for obvious reasons. 

As of last week, Justin was trying to decide whether or not to continue to live with Melissa or if he should move in with Kristin.  He spent 45 minutes following me around the office bitching and moaning about the pros and cons of both sides, and telling me that he had to make a decision by Sunday.  I did not ask for him to do this.  I was working while he was complaining to me and I was trying to get him to go away.  (He is a horrible tease and the more you don’t want him to do something – like talk to me for 45 minutes – the more he does it just to piss you off.)  After he was done going on about it, he asked me what I thought he should do.  At first I told him that I’m not close enough to the situation to make a recommendation.  I then thought about it and told him that if he leaves Melissa he could be jumping from the pot into the fire.  There was no guarantee that living with Kristin would be better than living with Melissa.  I also explained to him that if he leaves Melissa for the one person in this world who she HATES and it didn’t work out between him & Kristin, if he went crawling back to Melissa she’d most likely tell him to go fuck himself.

That was last Thursday.

On Monday I asked him what he decided to do.  Do you know what that fucker did?!  He just looked at me with a shit-eating-grin and told me that he wasn’t going to tell me.  I’d have to wait and see.  WHAT KIND OF SHIT IS THAT?! 

I didn’t want to come right out and ask Melissa.  I know that she’s touchy about this and she has been for about 2 years.  I was talking with M about it last night and Li overheard our conversation.  She is friends with Melissa’s oldest, Aireonna, so Li offered to ask Onna what was going on.  Onna told Li that Justin had moved in with Kristin.  Then I got a text from Justin telling me shame on me for having Li ask Onna, and that next time he’ll tell Onna to tell Li something different. 

Ok, fine.  Busted – sort of.  I didn’t ask Li to contact Onna but neither did I stop her.

This morning Melissa sent me a message on Facebook saying that her private life is private for a reason.  She’s tired of being the subject of peoples’ conversations and if she wanted to have everyone’s input then she’d post it for the world to see.  She didn’t post it, she’s not going to post it, get over it.

I feel awful that she feels that she’s the subject of conversation with everyone, but the reality is that their life is such a bad reality TV show that no one really cares anymore.  Had Justin not whined to me about it last week and then decided to be all coy about the decision, I wouldn’t have given a crap.  Hell, I wouldn’t have even known. 

I’m dropping this subject like a hot potato.  I’m tired of being sucked into their drama without being given a choice. When the pregnancy became public the three of them were the topic of every one's conversation.  Everyone, and I do mean everyone, was talking about how weak Melissa was that she stayed with Justin after he committed such a… for lack of a better word – crime.  That had their significant others done that to them they would have been cut loose.  M and I were the ONLY ones out of the entire group who defended them both.  The way we felt then, and still do now, is that they are all consenting adults.  How they decided to handle the situation was up to them. 

I still feel badly about Melissa but I don’t know how to handle it without making her angrier.