Why do kids think we're stupid? Really? You think I haven't done whatever it is you're trying to get away with? Please.
K went rollerskating with some friends last night. Two of her friends came over, they all got ready together, and one of the girls' mom picked them up from my house and took them to the rollerskating rink. I cannot believe the clothing these girls were wearing. One of the girls had shorts so short that if she bent over to touch her knee - I'd be seeing all she has to show. It was a little gross to be honest. When I went upstairs to tell them that the mom was here, I saw K was wearing short-ass-booty-shorts as well. At least hers were jean shorts so they were a bit less likely to ride up, but still. I told her to change her shorts before they left. She gave me a little 'tude but I think she realized it before I got pissed, so she said "ok". I knew right then that she'd be trying to get away with something. I made a mental note to check her out before she left, but then the dog got into the garbage (DAMN DOG!) so I was busy cleaning that up when they walked out the door.
I knew she didn't change her shorts. I just KNEW it in my bones. I checked her room anyway. I went through the pile of clothes on her floor (from them going through her drawers to find clothing), but the shorts were nowhere to be found. She actually left the house with the shorts!! Ok. I knew she was going to do this but it doesn't change the fact that she actually DID it!
When she came home I snagged her before she could run upstairs. She had on a black pair of sweat pants - the kind that come to the knees. I went to give her a hug - and feel her bottom - and she immediately backed away. This is a child I have to physically remove from my neck every night because she LOVES to cuddle. (Personally I'm not a cuddler. I can't stand it when people want to hang on me. Give me a hug? Fine. Hold on for longer than 5 seconds and I can't wait to get away from you. It's just the way I am.) I knew immediately that I definitely wasn't wrong. So I did what any mother would do - I grabbed her pants and yanked. She screamed, but then at least had the decency to look ashamed. How could she deny it? She was standing right in front of me with her sweat pants around her ankles and the booty-shorts on.
Her punishment is that she's grounded today after school, she has to re-clean her room from the mess they made getting ready, and she has to wash all the widows on the ground floor. This may not seem like a big punishment, and in theory it's really not because we only have the kitchen window, dining room window, sliding glass door, and bay window on the ground floor - however, we have two dogs who CONSTANTLY press their wet noses up against all but the kitchen window. The result is a film over the window that is not easy to get off. M calls it "doggy booger". Because of this film this is a chore I despise. There have been times where I actually got a razor blade and scraped the crap off. It was easier than washing and washing and washing and going through an entire roll of paper towels, but I'm not letting K in on that trick.
She asked me this morning how I knew that she'd kept the shorts on under her sweats. Duh. I've done that before myself. But I didn't tell HER that.
3 comments:
Yikes! I have two small daughters and your blog makes me dread those upcoming teenage years.
Omg! My 19-month old is already a diva. I can't imagine her as a teenager. Good luck!
HAHA! My advice to both of you is this - Love on your kids while they will still let you.
I remember my mother telling me when I was a teen "one day, Erin, you're going to have a girl JUST LIKE YOU. And I'm going to sit back and laugh." She wasn't kidding. I must have been a horrible teen because I got blessed with TWO girls JUST LIKE ME.
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