GET A JOB!!!

My kids drive me to drink.  And since I can’t drink right now (oh how good a glass of wine would taste…) I fucking eat.  And I can’t even eat anything good like a brownie or a steak!  No, I’m pregnant with the fetus that likes raw veggies, fruits and carbs.  God!  This first trimester crap is for the birds.

Li was told at the beginning of the summer that she needed to get a part time job when school started so that she could get her license.  We decided that for her to be able to have her license she would be required to pay for part of the insurance.  As it is, the insurance will only increase by $30 - $40 a month depending on her grades.  She’s an A/B student so she will get a discount. 

August came and went and Li didn’t have a job; hadn’t even looked for a job.  I cut her a little slack since she had been babysitting for Jess over the summer and didn’t really have an opportunity to go look for a job.  (Even though she really did have time, but I’m nice like that.)  I told her at the end of August, beginning of September, that she had until the end of September to get a job or she’d lose her phone.

My plan is this – Make her pay me the $10 a month that her phone line costs me, add that to the $30-$40 for the insurance and put both in a savings account.  When she moves out I will give her the money in the account.  I’m not trying to make my kid get a job to help pay rent, buy groceries, or pay bills.  I want her to realize that you have to work for things you want and that it’s fucking hard to get a little bit of “walking around” money.  That’s all.

Well September came and went and so did her phone.  I had reminded her halfway through September that she’d lose her phone at the end of the month if she didn’t have a job.  I know that it’s difficult for kids to find jobs these days with so many people out of work.  I know that realistically she probably won’t find a job for several months, but I wanted her to be making an effort.  She had every excuse in the book:

Ø  You don’t ever want to drive me – She waits until I get home from work and have changed into my sweats to ask me to drive her.  This in Li-speak means “sit in the car while I drive, then wait in the car while I go in and putz around”.  Make arrangements with me a couple days ahead of time and I’m more than happy to schlep you around.

Ø  There’s nowhere close to get a job – We are right behind a Jewel (grocery store), bakery, Pizza Hut, Ace Hardware, Blockbuster, Dairy Queen, Baskin Robins, Wendy’s, McDonald's, Burger King…  Do I need to continue?

Ø  I’ve been looking online and everything is 18 + - Some are like Blockbuster but Jewel hires kids with workers permits.

Ø  I talked to several people and they’re going to talk to their bosses about getting me a spot – Joey isn’t getting you a job at his Dad’s Jiffy Lube unless you have some sort of qualification; which I hate to burst your bubble, you just learned last weekend how to put gas in the car.

I’m raising the Village Idiot. 

With the beginning of October came the end of Li having unlimited access to her phone.  She was no longer allowed to take it out of the house, or out of the first floor, but could use it still.  


That is until Sunday night rolled around. 

I asked Li what her plans were for the weekend, hoping against hope she would say “Look for a job”.  SURPRISE!  She did say that.  She asked me to help her, she said she was going out with friends on Saturday then would come home Sunday and could I take her to A, B, and C locations to fill out apps.  YAY!  She’s taking initive!  She’s actually looking for a job!

Sunday morning, I got up and did what I needed to do and waited for Li.  And waited.  And waited.  I did a few other things like grocery shopping.  And I waited.  So I took a nap.  And I waited.  After texting a few of Li’s friends to see where she was (because of course Melissa wasn’t answering her phone)  Li finally calls me from Melissa’s phone at 6:15 telling me that they’re at Olive Garden and she’d be home at 8. 

I hit the roof!!  She told me she was going to look for a job and specifically asked me to take her.  I did NOTHING all day waiting for her ass and she couldn’t even tell me that she’d decided against it?!  Needless to say Li came home immediately and now she no longer has a phone for anything other than to call me to tell me that the house is burning down or that she’s bleeding out her eyeballs, nor does she have a computer or internet access unless it’s for school in which case I will log her in because I password protected her shit. 

It’s not the fact that she doesn’t have a job so much as it’s she’s not even trying. 

Jokingly, I blame Jessie & my Dad.  If Jessie hadn’t paid Li to babysit for her this summer & my Dad hadn’t paid Li to cut his grass she wouldn’t have nearly $200 in her bank account.  To a 16 year old $200 is fucking rich.  She sees no need to get a job because she has $200.  However when that money is gone after she spends $50 here or $20 there over the course of several months she’s going to want to do something or go somewhere and will have no money to do so.  Maybe then she’ll actually look for a job.

I can hope, right?

I just titled this Post which made me think of this absolutely hysterical video that cracks me up EVERY STINKING TIME I SEE IT!!  Enjoy...