I've Raised A Street Walker

My normally level headed 16 year old has lost her damn mind.  She is planning on attending an after prom cruise on Lake Michigan with a group of friends.  I say planning on because she doesn't even go to the school this after prom activity is for, they're not going to the prom for that school, and I'm pretty sure her best friend who has talked her and the others into this grand idea isn't going to be able to get permission to bring 5 kids who don't attend the school and won't even be going to the prom to this after prom activity.  Did that make sense?  Go ahead and re-read it to un-confuse yourself because I re-wrote it three times and it never got better.  I'll wait...

Less confused now?  Good.

Li asked me several weeks ago if I would care if she went to this after prom cruise.  I told her then that I didn't think Melissa would be able to pull it off, but what do I know?  I'm just her mom and therefore I am as stupid as they come.  She then asked me if I'd be able to help her with a dress.  I told her I wasn't shelling out huge amounts of money for a prom dress for her to not attend prom in, but that I would help her out (and this part is important) depending on the dress.

Fast forward several weeks.

I have not heard a word from Li about this prom since our original two conversations several weeks ago.  This prom is now a mere weeks away (two maybe?) and Li asked me last night if a dry cleaner could do alterations to a dress because she bought a dress for "prom" and it needs a little bit of work.  By now I'm a little leery.  She never said she was going dress shopping.  She never asked for money for the dress.  Just what the hell does this dress look like?

Charlotte Russe dress

My 16-year old has lost her damn mind.  Are you KIDDING ME?!?!?  And the alterations she wants?  The boob pockets (because lets be honest - that's what they are in this dress) are way to large for her because she's not busty, and the slit that comes up 4" above her knee she wants to be longer so that it comes practically to her waist.  FUCK THAT.

In as nice of words as I could find to delicately tell her  I told her "No way.  No how.  You look like a hooker."  At which point she stomped out of my room and slammed her door.  She returned later, with puffy eyes and a stuffy nose, to inform me that she can't return a dress that she doesn't have a receipt for because she threw the receipt away when 2 weeks were past because "you can't return anything after 2 weeks".  Oh, she'll return it alright.  She'll end up with store credit for the cost of the dress as it is now (which is on sale for $15 cheaper than she bought it for) but that dress is going back.

I started thinking about it later and realized that my daughter bought the dress knowing that I wouldn't approve of it and then deliberately hid it from me (hid it by not telling me she bought it not hid it from me in a closet or something) for 2 weeks thinking that I would say "oh well.  You can't return it so I guess you can wear it."

When I shared this story with a friend she said "I remember the stuff I tried to pull over my parents when I was 16 / 17 years old!"

So do I except the shit I pulled at 17 was getting pregnant.  With my future Street Walker.