It's been a few weeks since I posted last. Not because I don't love you all, I do, I just simply didn't have anything interesting to post about. I'm tried of bitching about my mom, my future SIL, my kids, etc... I figured you were just as tired of reading it.
I do have a funny, not funny, but still funny story from Easter dinner....
We went to my parent's house for Easter dinner. Usually I will do anything and everything I can to avoid family get togethers, especially now since I can't drink, but this time it was a smaller and much more manageable group. My parents, my brother Mark, my Grandmother (who is starting to go a bit batty), my Aunt and Uncle and cousin, another cousin and his fiance. Plus my girls, M and I. Compared to the 30-something the whole family amounts to - 13 is a much smaller number.
My cousin A is engaged to W. W is allergic to nuts. I didn't know this but I never have get togethers at my place where I have to coordinate food and food preparation. My mother apparently was aware of her allergy as was my Aunt and Grandmother. My mother made a side dish with broccoli, bacon, red grapes, and walnuts. She failed to tell W that there were nuts in the salad. W took a bite, realized what she'd eaten and nudged Cousin A while tapping her plate subtly with her fork as if to say "did you see that?" My Uncle D saw this movement and thought she was saying "what the hell is this crap!?" He was getting ready to tease her about thinking our food is bad when she asked my mother if there were nuts in the broccoli side. You should have seen my mother's face! Oh Em Gee! I think she wanted to die right there. She's all apologizing to W for not remembering to tell her there were nuts in one of the sides, W is all apologizing to my mother for not asking her if there were nuts in the side... Then poor W starts chugging Coke in an attempt to flush any walnut residue out of her throat.
She and Cousin A ended up needing to go to the nearest pharmacy to get a syringe as she had her epi-pen but no syringe. It was Easter Sunday but my Mother sent them to the nearest Walgreens insisting that it would be open because "it's Walgreens! It's always open on Sundays!" despite us telling her "It's EASTER Sunday!" Luckily they found an open Walgreens, got her syringe, pumped her full of adrenalin and they returned alive and breathing.
My mother was worried about them because they were gone for a bit longer than we thought they would be, and my mother is telling Mark to "text A and see if they need anything. See if they're ok." Uncle D is just laughing at my mother at this point because Cousin A and W are both doctors. If they have a medical issue, out of everyone at the house that day, they're the one's who would know what to do!
End of the story is that my mother tried to kill W with nuts but no one died.
Except Jesus.
But then he supposedly rose again so I guess it's all good.*
*and I do believe that I will be going to hell for ending a blog with that!
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