In My Head

There’s so much I want to say today and I just don’t know where to start.  If you could see inside my head you’d wonder how I function. 

Um… for starters Ki got her period.  Great.  That kid’s going to be a bigger brat than she already is.  I am SO not looking forward to the next 4 – 6 years with her.  That sounds so bad, but I’m so aggravated with her lately it’s not even funny.  She starts these huge fights with Li and then when I try to separate them by removing Ki – I NEVER LISTEN!!  I’m done listening.  I’m done trying to please them both.  I want to yell back at her “TOO FUCKING BAD!  YOU’RE AN ASSHOLE SO YOU GET TREATED LIKE AN ASSHOLE!”  But I don’t.  I don’t care if she doesn’t like it.  Tough fucking shit.  Be a nicer person and maybe you’ll be “treated” nicer.

Our office wants to cut down on costs, increase bidding therefore increase jobs, etc.  This is such a clusterfuck of insanity I don’t know how our office manages to function.  First my boss writes his own PO the other day, but then yells at Dick for writing his own change order.  Dick sends me the change order so I can type it out in our format and he emails me the document in a pdf format.  Seriously?

My boss’ kid is here working in the shop while on winter break from his freshman year of college.  Apparently he thinks that being the boss’ kid he’s exempt from actually working.  He wanders around most of the day pushing a broom, takes 15 minute bathroom breaks every 2 hours (on the dot), and gets into arguments with Justin (shop foreman) when Justin tells him to work.  The kid is seriously lazy and acts as though he’s doing Justin a favor by being here when I know for a fact that he creates more work for Justin.  The other day a truck delivery showed up right before lunch which needed unloading.  Justin was in the process of unloading when The Kid came up here, asked where Justin was, and sat down with his cookie and tea.  Literal tea and cookie, too.  I told him where Justin was and he just sat there looking at me.  Go help unload the truck, Asswad!  What do you think your job is here?

Have you ever watched the show Mob Wives on VH1?  What a clusterfuck that is.  Ki got me into this program last year, and I’ll tell ya what, these women are deranged.  It’s a goddamned train wreck I can’t stop watching.  The entire premise is that they have connections to “the lifestyle”.  They’re either married to, divorced from, related to, or divorced from but still in love with men in the mob.  They have nothing better to do apparently then to bitch to their girlfriends about how this one set her up, or that one is talking smack, or they’re not talking to this one, or they are talking to that one.  Or they fight each other.  These crack me up.  There’s a lot of hair grabbing and shirt ripping.  I see them swinging and of the four main characters, only one knows how to throw a punch.  The other ones just seem to go all - let’s flail my arms and yell, a lot, and flail my arms some more, and now I’ll pretend that the guys can’t hardly hold me back any longer, and I’ll flail my arms again to get my point across that I’m mad.  It amuses me; especially when one of them says “when I get into a fight the ambulance usually ends up coming”.  Um, really?  All I saw was a lot of plate throwing and hair pulling.  Oh, and some boob popping out of the shirt.  That was classy.  Oh, and my favorite line so far has been “Check my bloodline, Bitch!  I’m comin’ for ya!”  Is she going to give her AIDS or some other blood illness?  Having a dad in the mob doesn’t make you a lethal weapon.  He’s not a superhero.

Next on my list (I’m tellin’ ya, I have to purge this shit or it backs up and destroys my ability to function) is Dance Moms.  Are you fucking kidding me?  You mean to have me believe that this 400 lb woman is the master of dancing girls?  I’m calling shenanigans.  This lady, Abby Lee, is a monster in a Mumu.  She yells at little girls and then expects them not to cry.  She yells at the parents and then tells them that they’re lucky their daughter(s) is allowed to be on her competition dance team.  And the mothers of these girls are only slightly better.  I don’t know about you but if some cow of a bitch was yelling at my kids the way this lady does, she’d have a size 9 ½ boot up her poo-nanny.  These mothers accept the abuse and while they may put up a front of fighting against the enigma that is Abby Lee, I think they’re really just trying to live out their own dreams through their kids.  Bullshit I tell ya.  Pure bullshit.

Is “Reality TV” the only programming available now?  What happened to wholesome family TV shows like Full House, Perfect Strangers, Family Matters, Step by Step, or my personal favorite Hangin With Mr. Cooper?  They were funny, ya’ll.  They didn’t show people yelling and fighting and threatening to beat some bitch up or kick a kid off a dance team.  If the characters fought, by the end of the 30 minutes they were making up and making brownies. 

Holy shit.  I think I just purged myself; for the time being anyway.  I’ll be back, Bitches.  I’ll be back.  But for the moment I have to go prepare for the MASSIVE AMOUNT OF SNOW WE’RE SUPPOSED TO GET!!!  OH MY GOD!!!  (I hope Lake Shore Drive closes down again.  This time I’ll go sit in the middle of it like my brother did last year.)