Mushroom Print

There are many things that irritate me.  This is true.  However, there is nothing that makes me want to stab someone as much as when people park like an asshole.  Especially when they park like an asshole in front of my office.

My office building looks like this:

This is one half of the building.  You can see there are two doors at the left.  The other side of  the building (the side I was standing on while taking this picture) is exactly the same as the side you see here.  There are two docks - this one and one on the other side.  We don't use the one that you can't see.  It's been blocked off from the inside of the shop and is used as storage.  The driveway area up to the dock is used by my bosses for parking their cars.  Either way, used or not, it's a driveway and as such should not be blocked by parked cars.

The street space in between the two docks has enough room to park two cars while still allowing delivery trucks, or my trucks, to enter and leave the dock area as well as to not obstruct the sidewalk which you see here. The assholes across the street see it differently.

Parking is only allowed on this side of the street and I want to give a shout out to the douche-bags who insist on parking like an asshole in front of my building:

Douche-bag #1

You can barely see the end of the work van parked on one half.  He is neither blocking the driveway in front of him nor is he blocking the sidewalk; yet this Asshat has left 7 feet between herself and the van as well as 2 feet of her ass end protruding into my dock.  Delivery trucks will have no qualms about hitting cars that are in their way.  They've done it before, they'll do it again, and their attitude about it is "Meh.  Oh well."  I'm not even close to kidding on that.

Douche-bag #2

I came back from lunch today and this Twatwaffle has decided that his precious car is too cool to be near other cars, so he thought that if he parked almost smack between the two driveways no one would so much as breathe on his "sweet ride".  See that silver car there?  That's me.  I was hoping to get close enough to make him squirm when he came out of his office and saw my car kissing his.  I could have gone up another foot.

When I see shit like this I have an overwhelming desire to key "LEARN TO PARK DICKWAD" in their hood.  Maybe they'd get the message then.

My other issue with the parking situation is that when we DO have a delivery driver that doesn't want to hit a car that's parked improperly it's then up to us to find the owner and ask them to move their car.  Normally that wouldn't be an issue, but the amazing thing is that we know who drives these two particular vehicles I've featured here and what building they work in, however, when we enter said building and ask that the cars be moved - suddenly no one in those buildings know who owns the cars.  How is that even possible?!

The wonderful gentleman who drives the back car, Douche-bag #2 if you will, also rides a Harley.  When people are parked like normal in front of my office he likes to back his bike into the 4 foot space between the front of one car and the ass end of the other, thus completely blocking the sidewalk in front of my office.  Or he'll back into the space between the front of the car parked on the other side of my dock, thus creating a blockage to my dock driveway.  I wish I had a photo of that to post here, but I don't.

I want to print out these flyers from this website, but my boss said no.  He's such a party pooper.