I have a sneaking
suspicion that one of two things is going to happen in the next few
months. One – I will bore each and every one of my 7 followers to death. Or Two – I will drive myself bonkers. I suspect one of these will take place
because I’m completely and totally freaking out that I’m going to miscarry
again, and it’s all I can think about. Therefore,
It’s all that I can think of to blog about.
“What about the
two teenagers who occupy your home?” You may ask.
To which my reply
is “Teenagers? What teenagers? There’s someone else living in my home?”
“You silly
woman! Of course there are! They’re the whole reason you started this
blog in the first place!” You may say.
To which I respond
with a “There are OTHER people besides me in my home?! OTHER people who have thoughts and feelings
and are permanent fixtures in my life?!
Nope. There’s no one but me. Me and my not-even-a-fetus-but-hopefully-it-will-be-soon-and-my-body-doesn’t-reject-it-or-I-may-just-lose-my-shit
pregnancy.”
Yep. That pretty much sums me up right about
now. No one and nothing else matters
which is probably why M has stopped responding to my texts today.
When I miscarried
before I was woken up from a deep sleep (I think it was a deep sleep because it
was 3am or somewhere close to that time) with cramps across my stomach. I thought they were poop cramps so I went to
the bathroom, did my thing, and returned to bed. The entire time I was in the bathroom I was
cramping.
I think that was
when I miscarried. I realized much later
that poop cramps don’t wake you up with massive pain in your abdomen. You’re just…
uncomfortable.
