THAT Kid

K has become That Kid.  You know the one.  That neighborhood kid who somehow wrangles him/herself into parties that they weren't invited to.  That Kid who will come to your house and beat around the bush asking for food.  Yup.  K has officially become That Kid.

K has always had a way of getting what she wants.  Regardless of what it is.  My father taught her at a young age to negotiate.  Thanks, Dad.  She's so into negotiating what she wants that she will sometimes talk herself out of something good.  For example, K wanted some spending money.  She was smart enough not to ask me (I'm so broke it's not even funny) so she decided to ask my Dad if there was anything she could do in his yard for some money.  He decided she could do some weeding and he'd pay her $3.  She said she'd do it for $5.  My Dad said $2.  K said $10 and my Dad said never mind.  Most of the time she's smart enough to negotiate what she wants but occasionally she'll negotiate herself out of something.  K's negotiating can, and does, get under my skin more often than not.  When I tell her she has to do the dishes/take out the trash/pick up dog poop, whatever it is, she thinks it's up for negotiation.  "I'll do it if I can..."  It's gotten to the point where I have to tell her "It's not up for negotiation"

However, she called me this morning and asked if she could go with Gabriella to Chris's birthday party at Monkey Land (It's some sort of Chuck E. Cheese type place).  I ended up telling her yes, but before I gave her the answer I had to ask her how she came about getting invited to this party.  I sure never saw an invitation, nor did K ever tell me about it until she called me.  Before I told her she could go I was sure that Gabriella had been invited and either 1 - K had asked if she could go with or 2 - Gabriella said "you can come, too" or something like that.  K insisted that Chris and his mother invited her.  It still sounds fishy.  Why would a kid be verbally invited to a party like that at the last minute.  Hence my belief that K has become That Kid.

It could all be very innocent.  K could have been playing in the neighborhood and the mother didn't want her to be left out, or the kid could have begged his mother to let K go also, but I know my daughter.  I'd bet dollars to donuts that she somehow invited herself. 

Jessie and I were talking about this just last night.  We were at Justin and Jessie's house yesterday afternoon to go swimming and have dinner with them.  After dinner their girls and K went downstairs to play.  After a while one of their girls came up and asked Jessie if they could have dessert.  Jessie said she didn't think so, not tonight.  Madie went right over to K and whispered in K's ear.  Then they all went downstairs again.  Jessie and I just looked at each other and laughed a little.  About 30 minutes later Jessie and I were inspecting the cleaning job the kids had done in the basement, and again Madie asked Jessie if they could have something for dessert.  Again Jessie said, "Not tonight".  Again Madie went over to K and whispered to her.  At this point I'm getting kind of upset with K because that's just rude.  About 30 minutes after that Madie asks Jessie if they can have a cookie.  This time I interjected and told Madie that she should talk to her mom after we leave.  I told her we were going to be leaving shortly and they (the kids) needed to finish cleaning. 

Jessie knew why I did what I did and told me about a time K was at their house during an afternoon.  Jessie had gone downstairs to fix her iPod.  K came down a little later talking about some new snack that is in the grocery store.  Jessie told me that she'd just gone to the grocery store that morning and this snack K was talking about was in their snack cupboard.  Jessie said she called K out on it by asking her "Were you looking above my microwave?  I have that snack for Andrew."  K, of course, tried to play off being innocent, but she sucks at that.  You can tell by her body language that she's faking.

I know all kids do this, but I've always thought that she'd outgrow it.  You know, once she realized it's rude. Apparently K hasn't realized it, no matter how many times I talk to her about the different ways people are rude, she still manages to be That Kid.

I've Been Un-Invited... To A 4-Year Old's Birthday Party.

We've all had that conversation with a pre-school aged kid.  They get mad at you and the worst thing they can think to yell at you is "Well!  You're not coming to MY birthday party!!"  My typical response to my daughters telling me this was always "Fine.  I'm not THROWING you a birthday party then."  That always made them pause and think about just how far they're willing to put their party in jeopardy.

It happened again yesterday to me.  No.  My daughters didn't uninvite me to their birthday party.  I got uninvited to Katelin's 4th Birthday Party on Saturday.  By her father.  I'm sorry, but I have to share the humor in this.  In the last five weeks I've been invited to four events for Saturday, August 7th.  That doesn't happen often.  OK, that doesn't happen ever!  The first party I was invited to is a Lia Sophia party at my friend, Abbey's.  Lia Sophia is expensive costume jewelry that I'll NEVER buy but I love parties like that so I told Abbey I'd go.  The second party is a Baby Shower for my friend, Melda, who's having a little boy in about 6 weeks (give or take).  Unfortunately, I got invited to that party after I'd already accepted the invite to Abbey's party.  So, I'll take a gift over to my friend's house, Melissa, who is going to the Shower and I'll  have her take it with her so Melda gets a gift from me anyway.  The third party I was invited to was another Drag Queen event by my brother.  Again, I had to decline even though I think it would be SUPER fun to go to another show of his! 

Finally, I've been invited to Katelin's 4th Birthday Party.  This is the Katelin who won't even look at me much less talk to me.  She doesn't like me.  I don't know why, and at this point (I know this is going to sound really badly of me) after four years of her flat out ignoring me, I don't care.  The thing is Craig and Beth only gave us an invite to Katelin's party a week ago.  After they had seen the Baby Shower and the Lia Sophia party invites on my refrigerator.  We had discussed this at our poker tournament a few weeks ago.  I told them that I'd be late to Katelin's party because of the Lia Sophia party.  I'd already committed to going to Abbey's house.  It's rude to accept an invitation and then not go.  And I've found out that Abbey needs a minimum number of people to show up or the Party Lady won't even do the party.  If I don't go then Abbey doesn't have her minimum.

Craig asked me yesterday who was coming to their house for the party so they could figure out food.  I told him to count L out (she's 15 and has no desire to attend a 4 year old's party), and that K might not be there as they might be going to their Aunt's house.  I then told him that M would be there after the bowling portion and that I'd be there about 5 pm.  Beth and Craig ALWAYS have a party for Katelin, and then after family goes home their friends stay and they have a bonfire or just sit around and talk.  Apparently, not this year.  When I told Craig when I'd be there he just looked at me for a moment then walked away mumbling something about food being wasted.  You know that look your teacher would give you after you disrupted the class, or your mother would give you after you told her why you were outside spraying your brother with a garden hose while he was tied to the tree?  (Long story, but he deserved it.)  Yea.  That look.

I tried to explain to him why I was going to Abbey's party first so he'd understand, and do you know what he said to me?!  "You might as well not bother to come then.  Everyone will be gone by then anyway.  Enjoy your jewelry party."  WHAT THE FUCK!?!  Seriously?  The way he said it was so sarcastic, too.  He acted like a spoiled little brat being told that he can't go swimming in the middle of winter.

Honestly, why would I even want to go to the kiddie portion of Katelin's party anyway?  #1 - She's FOUR.  She's never going to remember that I wasn't there.  #2 - As I said earlier, she doesn't even like me.  She's not going to care that I'm not there.  #3 - Why would I even want to attend a party where the guest of honor won't even look at me, much less return a greeting which is the ONLY thing I'd bother trying to say to her anyway since she won't talk to me and her parent's don't force her to reply to greetings anyway?!

You didn't read that wrong.  They allow her to be rude.  I get that she doesn't like me.  I get that she's bashful around many people, but I think that allowing your child to bury her head in your legs and to ignore your basic greeting is teaching her to be rude.  I'll go up to Beth or Craig and greet them.  Katelin will be right by them.  She'll see me and turn around to bury her face in their legs.  I'll say, "Hi, Katie."  She'll ignore me and Beth/Craig will just look at me like "Oh well.  Whatta ya gonna do?"  I'll tell ya what you SHOULD do!  You SHOULD make your child at least acknowledge the fact that someone has greeted her.  You SHOULD tell your child to say hello.  I'm not asking her to carry on a conversation with me, I'm asking her to acknowledge my presence, and to think it's acceptable that she refuses to do so AND you allow her to ignore someone is teaching her to be RUDE.

So I was uninvited to a 4-Year Old's birthday party.  And to tell you the truth - I could care less.