I have recently been informed that my car can hear me. Yes. Hear me. As in “You’re going to be sorry you’re talking bad about your car when it won’t take you home tonight. It can hear you, you know.” Justin has decided to lose all touch with reality and has decided that all my negative talk about my POS Ford Taurus (that would be Piece Of Shit Ford Taurus) this morning will result in it deciding to completely crap out on me because it can hear me. Oh, and it has feelings, too. And I've hurt them apparently.
Jess and I were chatting via Gmail’s chat feature yesterday and after several hours of us actually working and not chatting, she sent me a message: "Can I ask you a question?" I thought this was going to be about either Friday – my wedding day – or Saturday – the day we’re having a party to celebrate, so I gave her the green light. Oh, nay-nay. Her question was: "When you wipe after pooping, do you hover or stay seated?"
Wh-What?!
So not where I thought that was going! Come to find out that her hubby, Justin, (different Justin from first paragraph) broke their toilet seat because apparently he just pivots on the seat so he’s really “gettin’ in there”! Holy Crap! (Haha! Pun not intended, but funny none the less!)
I have been going back and forth with this girl in the accounting dept at a company doing work for us. They’ve sent us 4 billings and we’ve kicked out one so in reality we have 3 billings total from them. Two have been paid and the last one I’m waiting for a revision. This girl in their accounting dept is really pissing me off. She called about the 3rd billing, the one we kicked out and explained to them at the time why we were kicking it out, wanting to know where the payment was. I told her that we’d talked about that billing, both in person and via email. She insisted that I was wrong & I had never spoken to her. I asked if she’d like me to resend her the email recap I’d previously sent her about that billing. That shut her up.
For a minute.
I had the pleasure of opening the 4th billing from them yesterday, which needed to be revised because they haven’t changed any of their information that we’ve told them to change. I sent another email reiterating the contact amount, what we’ve paid already, what we’re going to pay on that billing and the amount left on their contract.
This bitch sent me the revised billing today and informed me that my contract amount was wrong because they had to take the tax off the project, and could I please revise to show that. Guess what her contract amount was?! The fucking amount I told her it was!!! To top it off, in the email this bitch sent me she addressed me as “Mr.”
What. The. FUCK?!
I've talked to her upteen times on the phone and I can tell you without a doubt that I do NOT sound like a man. Not even close! I’m about one conversation away from going to Alsip, IL and putting a size 9 ½ boot in the poo-nanny.
Welcome to my world. Walk right in and make yourself comfy.
