WTF?!?!?

I had a talk with L when I realized her relationship with Jason was more than just a passing encounter.  They were both Freshmen in High School and... Well.. Lets be honest here, they were going to be doing "things" way sooner than I wanted them to but I'm not naive enough to believe that simply telling her "NO" would garner the desired abstinence I desired for her.  I'm smart enough to know that it would actually have the opposite effect. *Gasp!*  Imagine that!  A kid would actually go against her parent for telling her she can't do something?!  Never!

I look at it this way - I never had those talks with my mother.  Ever.  I never felt that I could discuss anything with her.  Ever.  I ended up pregnant at 17 with L.  I was pregnant with K at 19.  I do not want that for my kids.  I've talked to them about sex and all the responsibility that comes with it.  I remind them constantly about when we lived with my parents because I couldn't afford to live on my own when their father and I got divorced.  I remind them of when we finally were able to move to the apartment in Addison, but many times would have eggs and pancakes for dinner because I couldn't afford to go to the grocery store for several days.  I remind them of how I was unable to afford the $5 for a field trip and lunch money for McDonald's so they would sit in the Library during the field trip instead of being with their classes and enjoying a trip outside of school.  I try to remind them of just how far we've come and how much we've struggled to do so. 

I tell them daily that I do NOT regret them, but that if I could go back in time with the guarantee that I would have L and K the same as they are now - I would have waited.  I can only talk to them and hope that they make the right decisions.  L came to me and said that she thought it would be a good idea for her to be put on birth control.  I think I sprouted another 300 grey hairs, but agreed to make an appointment.  We had a discussion about responsibility and that my putting her on birth control is NOT to be mistaken as "permission" for her to have sex.  That I do NOT want her to have sex.  EVER.  However, I do not want her to do it anyway without protection. 

That was about 5 months ago.  K came into my room last night and told me that she thought that when she gets into High School that she should be put on birth control, too.  I just looked at this kid.  Ok... besides the obvious being that she's 13 YEARS OLD AND IN 8TH GRADE she physically cannot get pregnant.  She hasn't even started puberty yet.  I told her that I needed to process what she's telling me and could we discuss this in a few days?  She agreed and bounced out of my room.

So many things are going through my head right now.  Is she hanging out with a crowd of kids who are "bad" kids?  No.  Is she lying to me about where she's going, and instead going elsewhere and doing other things?!  I don't think so, but anything is possible.  Is this just a case of "L can do it so why can't I?"  Is she trying to tell me something but doesn't know how to say it or am I just being paranoid?!