That's What I Said...: Little Miss Can't-Be-Wrong

In my house we call her Lianna.

I don't know about you, but it drives me insane when I get a text message from my children asking me to pick up something on the way home from work that I shouldn't have to pick up at all.

For example: Feminine Products.

Li sent me a text message about 45 minutes ago asking me to pick up tampons on my way home from work. For starters I always keep a spare box/package of feminine products in our upstairs linen closet. For no other reason than there's nothing worse than needing a tampon or pad and realizing that you are COMPLETELY out of them.

I have a very simple rules in regards to my grocery list:

If you want me to buy something - put it on the list.

If you use the last of something - put it on the list.

If you take the last package/box of feminine products from the hall closet - FOR GODS SAKE PUT THAT SHIT ON THE LIST!

She sent me the text asking me to pick up tampons and the following text conversation took place:

Me - Since there's been nothing put on the list I would check the closet upstairs. There should be an extra box there.

Li - There, isn't I Already checked

Me - Well... You may have to survive on pads then. I don't have cash today, I don't have a debit/credit card today and no one (Read: you) put them on the list when they (Read: you) took the last box out.

Li - ...Have you forgotten that kiley has a period too so people (ready: you) shouldn't be so quick to point fingers

Me - Ki doesn't use tampons. So it's not pointing fingers. It's a matter of deduction. I'm obviously not using them, she doesn't use them, (M) would't touch them with a 10 foot pole, so who does that leave? Read: You.

Li - yes well she shaved her legs before she was allowed to so no you really dont know. Btw I wasnt planning on being rude but its hard not to when you talk to me like im an idiot

I can't even begin to respond to this latest text message unless I want my head to explode.

Photo Source:http://maothebrok.deviantart.com/art/Exploding-head-164213962

For clarification, This is a child who NEVER remembers to put a damn thing on that list. Ever. So when I get these messages from her it drives me bonkers. I was not talking to her like she was an idiot, I was simply trying to get across that there are no more tampons because she didn't put them on the list - again.

This last text message is also the reason why she can't use my car tonight after work.